Ex's weird Snapchat

[WingingItAtLife]

Some of you may have seen my previous post about me needed some opinions on if my ex was abusive. With help from some of you I've realised he was emotionally abusive and coercive.

Anyway, he has recently decided he doesn't want to see the kids (again) and he's struggling and still loves me etc.

Tonight he sent me a Snapchat of him crying saying 'remember this... We can't go back'.

This is just another way for him to try to get at me isn't it? He's trying to play on my better nature isn't he? Wants me to feel sorry for him?

Utterly pathetic. Ignore him.

He sounds weird, I hate when people record themselves crying. So cringeworthy, imagine him watching that back before sending it to you🤦🏼‍♀️

It’s definitely manipulative. I would consider blocking him.

On Snapchat that is, keep any other contact to an absolute minimum.

Recorded crying sessions definitely sound inauthentic and manipulative to me.

run and dont look back

Oh boohoo whore... Off you fuck 👋

Block him OP.

Just read your other thread, he sounds very scary, creepy and controlling. Definitely block him

Screenshot anything he sends on Snapchat before it deletes.

It's no coincidence he's sending this on a platform that deletes the pictures.

He's manipulating you or at least trying to. It sounds like you are beginning to see through his abusive bullshit.

It wasn't a video. Just a weird picture with the writing underneath and now he hasn't even active since.
He sent me a message the other day saying he was on the verge of doing 'something stupid'. And now this. I do see his behaviour for what it is, but he does pull on my heartstrings cz I wouldn't want ANYONE to feel broken x

If he threatens suicide, take him at his word and get police/paramedics to check on him. Every time. Don’t go yourself. If he’s using it as a sympathy card he’ll eventually stop.

Thank you, I would feel like I was wasting their time but I guess they have experienced it all before.

@Vitaminsss

If he threatens suicide, take him at his word and get police/paramedics to check on him. Every time. Don’t go yourself. If he’s using it as a sympathy card he’ll eventually stop.

Seconding this. If he's serious about posing a threat to himself, it is necessary for them to perform a welfare check. If he's doing it manipulatively, he probably won't again if he sees that you're serious.

When my ex was threatening to harm himself I was advised by the local police to call them every time and they would do a welfare check and to definitely NOT go myself. One time they had to go round twice in one day. He soon stopped. It can be part of the manipulation but should be taken seriously.

Oh for gods sake. Make a meme out of it snd post it on his Facebook. Manipulative twat.

@SueDeNimm

Oh for gods sake. Make a meme out of it snd post it on his Facebook. Manipulative twat.

🤣🤣 oh how I'd love to do this!! Especially as he's playing the 'you broke our relationship' card 🙄

He's been back online now after about 90 minutes x x

But he's got what he wanted hasn't he? You're looking, worrying, you've seen he's back online. He's manipulating you and it's working. Make it clear to him in a calm way when he next contacts you that you can see that he feels very low and you assume his messages to you are a cry for help, however as you are no longer in a relationship and you are not able to help him you will call the police to him if he does this again. You wish him well and for him to be in a better place for the sake of the children but you are not equipped or willing to help him and if he feels so low he's contemplating suicide as he's insinuated you feel you must do this.
Then at the first sign of any further manipulation do it. Call the police and request a welfare check.

word of advice op....if you screenshot on snapchat it lets the other person know you have done it.

Yes he absolutely did get what he wanted. He knows me so well. I had planned on messaging him regarding the kids tomorrow so will try to gently but firmly tell him that emotional messages/photos are not welcome. And if he feels low he needs to seek help elsewhere x

It’s classic abusive behaviour. You need to report it to police because at some point he may insinuate that when the DC are with him next he might feel like “doing something stupid” again. Family annihilator style. He’s clearly unhinged and is still trying to manipulate you. Make it clear to him that it won’t work.

My ex does this aswell (only he was physically abusive too, and damaged my property etc). I've tried to cut contact with him to an absolute minimum before, but then he manages to suck me back in by making me feel sorry for him. He's an alcoholic who's a different person when he's drunk, so he'll be a bastard, then he'll sober up and feel bad/hate himself (and in the process make me feel sorry for him). I'm resolved this time to harden my heart and not let him get to me, so watching with interest.

Something I've seen on here is to reply to stupid messages with this
👍

Nothing else. Highly annoying apparently. Very dismissive. And yes even though he is an abuser I still would. Break the spell.. you know that one that says he can affect you. Find for a bit of a hard heart I'm afraid. Snd in the current climate wasting police or ambulance time is maybe a little irresponsible so although it's often given as advice to call them to do a welfare check I probably wouldn't in this current climate.

All part of the abusers handbook though!!

@SueDeNimm

Something I've seen on here is to reply to stupid messages with this 👍

Nothing else. Highly annoying apparently. Very dismissive. And yes even though he is an abuser I still would. Break the spell.. you know that one that says he can affect you. Find for a bit of a hard heart I'm afraid. Snd in the current climate wasting police or ambulance time is maybe a little irresponsible so although it's often given as advice to call them to do a welfare check I probably wouldn't in this current climate.

All part of the abusers handbook though!!

I’m sorry, I have to disagree with the part about wasting police time. The police themselves actively told me more than once that this is what they are there for and it is not wasting their time. This was only 3 months ago. They were very clear that I was to call every single time.

They don’t call an ambulance unless they feel it’s necessary so it takes the onus off you. It also creates an official log of his behaviour which may or may not be useful later on.

Block him on everything, but one simple way of contacting you, for access to the children no more. Email is good.

If you are able to set up an email address for this purpose only, that would be even better. Then you only have to check it when it suits you. I read on here about someone who had done this and felt they’d finally taken back some control of the situation.

People who commit suicide rarely tell anyone. Only narcissistic dickheads do