He's always asleep

[KinseyWinsey]

H is always asleep at every opportunity.

At the weekends, he will wake up at any time between 9-10am, sometimes later.

He will then have breakfast and go back to bed to watch Netflix and fall asleep again.

He will get up in the afternoon but is back in bed by 5pm for a couple of hours.

He's wfh at moment so if work is busy, he'll get up at 9am and log on straightway. If work is quiet, as it seems to be lot of the time at the moment, he will follow the weekend pattern.

I've asked him if he feels unwell, if he needs to see a doctor etc but he takes this as me being unpleasant and will ask me the same if I have had a nap on the first day of my period or after I've done everything like walked dogs, shopped, cooked, tidied etc.

It's so boring. And he talks about our life together when we are retired. It's going to be dull as ditchwater, isn't it?

Does he snore ?

He might be suffering depression, but unless you can get him to the doctor to start addressing it, I don't know what your way forward is.

How old is H ?

Does he do any exercise ?

Diabetic ?

What are his night time sleep patterns like ?

My husband is exactly the same way.

Eat, sleep, play video games on repeat. I'm off for three days and he doesn't want to do a single thing.

Boring. Do you really want this to be your life!

Same. When I got up this morning I thought to myself that being married to someone who sleeps all the time is absolutely fucking boring.

My DH has started snoozing and napping while WFH and I can't stand it.. he'll do his 10am zoom and have a nap, then work for the afternoon but then doze off after tea.

He's great does everything round the house etc, so he's not lazy just fits in a few naps.

I find it baffling and very "old man" behaviour and he is only 51, I find it boring as well just like my life is with this snoozy old man!!

My ex was like this as well but he was in his 20s. Basically if he wasn't at work or on his computer he would be asleep. My fb memories are full of me saying " x is asleep again" it gets very draining and helped towards him becoming an ex.

I've been suffering from chronic fatigue and sleeping a lot;I went to the doctors and have been diagnosed as being diabetic and having chronic kidney disease.Now I know why I've been exhausted and can start working towards to getting on top of it with treatment and lifestyle changes

Jees you lot need to buy tasars! Honestly these blokes. It's just apathy and boredom. I presume they get their meals placed in front of them so they don't have to think about dinner preparation either?

Sleep apnoa?

My husband is a bit like this - although we have very young children so there's some genuine exhaustion thrown in too. But he just nods off anytime he's left Undisturbed for 5 mins. He has sleep apnoea (I can hear it) but refuses to see a dr about it. I'm trying to get him to get laser treatment privately to see if it helps, after the pandemic is over

Am always up at 5am back after 8pm ,on my days off yes I do sleep till 11 and I don’t see anything wrong with this

I hate this with a passion. What is it about family life that brings out the most turgid, passive side of men. Urgh.

My ex was like this. It wasn't the straw that broke the camel's back because he did worse things. but I found it such a huge turn-off.

I find the whole idea of wanting to sleep in the day infinitely depressing tbh. Even if all your chores are done and no-one else is depending on you. Its just such a WASTE. It would be a dealbreaker for me. Depression or whatever aside. Just can't deal with it.

Is he more active late at night?! Some people want to have odd naps throughout the day, but might be busy doing other things when most people in the evening will be watching TV and chilling.

Some people use sleep to pass the time.
Lockdown has made some of us lethargic too.
It is boring though - no answer - sorry I need a nap.😀😀

It's difficult for you to rule out physical or medical issues if he won't see a doctor. You need to have a serious talk and tell him how much this is affecting you, that it is putting your relationship at risk. If he still won't see a doctor then that proves he doesn't care about your feelings.
Alternatively, he won't see a doctor because he knows the cause, i.e. he is up half the night playing computer games or watching screens.

Ugh I hate this too. It's just so unattractive and lazy. The odd nap is fine, but having been married to one of these perpetual sleepers this goes way beyond a little chill time.

My H is only in his thirties and granted he does work very long hours/hours of a commute, but other than work all he wants to do is laze about on the couch dozing.

I take the DC out on my own at the weekends so much (while he sleeps) that I often wonder if people think I'm a single parent. It's part of the reason I will actually be a single parent soon. The thought of this boring existence forever makes me want to weep.

You don't mention DC, if you don't have that tie then I'd definitely consider ending the relationship if he won't change his ways. Have a discussion with him and tell him how it affects you and make some tangible suggestions for how you want things to change. If he can't be arsed and would rather snooze his life away then go and find a life worth living OP!

My ex was like this, it really used to piss me off. Note he's now an ex!

I think it's used as a way of checking out of family life to be honest 😢

I would strongly suggest he has a sleep disorder. I would insist he get a referral to a sleep clinic for a sleep study.

A number of sleeping disorders can be treated. Not a lot of general practitioners know a great deal about sleeping disorders, which is why it is a speciality.

Many men seem to be quite reluctant to admit anything is wrong and they're allergic to medical professionals. I find this very frustrating myself. I am Christian and this is relevant because I find myself trying to coax, deal and blackmail my DH into seeing doctors for his sleep disorder, eczema, fitness, weight and suspected depression. If I could improve his sleep quality, I am sure it would cascade into other areas of his life. I married him at his heaviest and I'm carrying his baby now - I can only put that down to his pursuit of me because now that we're married, the pursuit is over and he is still heavy. What bothers me the most, howeve, is that no improvement has been seen to improve his sleep - wakes up 5 imtes a night on average - without explanation, in over 12months. I should have made him complete 3 sleep studies before we married as he was HIGHLY motivated then. He would have said and done anything I asked. Now, it's like 'no, calm down,' 'I'm already doing XYZ...'

:(

Does he work night shifts?

I remember someone who used to fall asleep in face to face work meetings or at their desk. Manager sent them to dr, I think it turned out to be sleep apnoea and things improved with treatment.

Does he do any exercise? I know it's hard at the moment, but the more I do ( walking locally) the more energetic I feel. Has he got into a lethargic pattern of staying in all the time & has tired himself out with nothingness.
Very frustrating for you. My exh wasn't a doer, where as I like to keep busy & feel like lounging around all the time is a wasted opportunity. I would leave him to it & do your own thing to avoid the disappointment of expecting him to join in. If things don't change reevaluate the relationship otherwise you'll feel buried alive.
Good luck

He's wfh at moment so if work is busy, he'll get up at 9am and log on straightway.
Thats a very normal time to log on to a normal day of work. My dh is busy, he is logged on by 7. Im logged on my 8.15.

How old are you both? Is he fit and healthy usually? Is this a big change from life previously?

When you describe him atm your describing me over Christmas when i had covid. I had no energy and did go back to bed to watch netflix and i napped a lot.