Blatant lie to create an argument

[DreamsDontComeTrue]

He messaged to say
'im fucking calling u, pick up now' (at 22:44)
I went up to bed an noticed phone buzzing at 22:44 picked up and he began shouting on the phone asking why I didn't pick up, I replied I was in the bathroom. He continued shouting and swearing that hes been trying to call me, I looked at my phone but no missed calls. He then just shouts at me calls me all sorts and says I've ruined his new year again this year.

OH is abusive towards me but even this is just next level mind games.

I had to write this out because Im actually confused if I have done something wrong.
He makes me feel like I'm losing it. I couldn't tell even when he was shouting at me, at one point I actually thought he was joking and I changed the subject. I was even trying to reason with him and even sent him a screenshot shot of his calls to show when he called me like he said, but he has blocked my number and messages.

My head is so confused. All I was looking forward to was an early night but instead I'm crying into my pillow silently so LO wont notice.

Is he drunk? Sounds like a bellend !

Why are you with him?

Time to end this.
New start for the new year

You need to take steps to get out of this situation. Think of the environment you want your lo to grow up in... I’m sure it’s not this one.
Sorry op.

Abusive loser. Don't sit back and take his abuse any more. New year new start.

Do you live together?

What a twat. Leave him in 2020!

What a brilliant time to make a new start. You absolutely shouldn't have to put up with behaviour like that.

if I have done something wrong.

Just get rid, your life will be so much better

trying to reason with him

This, too, is a mistake.

DITCH... BLOCK.... Happy New Year 🎉

@LaMainDeFatima no not drunk. I could sense this evening that he was brewing, just waiting to start something. But in the end the opportunity didn't arise and he just left for work. While at work thats when he messaged and thought he'd start something.

With him because I have nowhere or no one.

Oh get rid of him OP, he sounds a right twunt. Start the New Year without him.

better alone ... than with this abuse

Wow! You must be walking on eggshells always! :(

Total bellend then and you know it .

You deserve better.

This is so sad to read, I'm sorry OP. You do not need this in your life though, you will be stronger without it I promise. Please get rid of this abuser x

@jelly79 I try and keep out of his way as much as I can.

I cant remember the last time I felt carefree like I could breath.

I remember reading a post on here from a women leaving her partner recently, her post gave me so much hope, cant find that post anymore.

You would be okay OP.. it might be emotionally painful initially and financially difficult... but imagine not being spoken to like that ever again .. being respected and loved ... I hope your able to find a solution soon OP 🌺

Oh gosh. Please seek help and get out as quickly as you can. You are never alone, there is help available out there.
Your OH sounds like a nightmare to live with. This verbal abuse could switch to physical very quickly.
Good Luck x

Recognising the problem is the first step, well done @DreamsDontComeTrue

Have a look at some of these

https://www.freedomprogramme.co.uk

https://www.refuge.org.uk

All the very best xx

If he yells at you like this, even if you were purposefully ignoring him or doing something to him, you would need to end it because it’s not ok. What you have described—the screaming, rest is irrelevant—is abuse and you cannot let this continue

Even with nothing and nobody you can get out. Phone Women's Aid tomorrow and let them help you and your child to escape this horrendous situation.

That first message would be an instant dump snd block. No confusion.

I am confused about why you are confused though. Which bit of this exchange says anything other than 'abusive cunt that actually can't stand me but wants someone to kick'? Cause I can't see anything g remotely different

This sounds so much like my ex. He usually was upset over something ridiculous that had nothing to do with me but would call and scream and shout then hang up. It was awful waiting for the phone to ring knowing there was nothing you could have done to prevent what was about to happen.

Do you live together? Do you have access to any money? What about friends and family? WomensAid is a really good idea. I was worried that they would refuse to help because I'd never been hit but they totally understood the bind I was in. There's a way through this even if it seems impossible right now.

leave him. He is abusive. He is blaming you for his shame and rage and inadequacy and it will erode you.

I left a man like this with toddlers and a ruck sack. He attacked me as I left so be very, very careful.

It is worth it. Your life is not a sacrifice to his convenience. And make no mistake, dumping on to you makes him feel better (for a moment or two) so offering yourself up like this to be abused is convenient.

I wish you all the luck in the world escaping from this situation.

Can you watch Meredith Miller Inner Integration on youtube? She exlains everything so clearly. The feelings of fear, obligation and guilt that stop you from leaving.