Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Help me get through DP and I just split

51 replies

crochetmonkey74 · 30/12/2020 20:34

An hour ago, he has fallen out of love with me and we want different things he says. Been together 6 years and happy I thought. I'm devastated

OP posts:
Honeyroar · 30/12/2020 20:36

That’s rubbish. I’m sorry for you. It’s better that he was honest, I guess, but it still hurts. Was there really no indication?

Original poster
crochetmonkey74 · 30/12/2020 20:38

Wed have a tough few months but put it down to bereavement (mine) I feel tortured by the fact he will go on to love someone else

OP posts:
mumcop · 30/12/2020 20:40

Oh god I'm so sorry.
Better you know now but it won't feel that way at the moment.
Be kind to yourself, give yourself time to grieve this relationship.
Sending you love x

Original poster
crochetmonkey74 · 30/12/2020 20:45

That's what I am worried about im 46 and cant see how I will start again

OP posts:
thebearschairs · 30/12/2020 20:45

I'm so sorry. Give yourself time to get past the shock, then grieve the loss.
It will get better I promise.

Do you live together / have kids?

Original poster
crochetmonkey74 · 30/12/2020 20:45

I love him and felt lucky to be with him

OP posts:
thebearschairs · 30/12/2020 20:47

It's his massive loss... you are the same amazing person you were 2 hrs ago...

Did you have any inkling?

Original poster
crochetmonkey74 · 30/12/2020 20:53

We had been fractious for a few months , just not quite connecting but I also had a major bereavement and of course covid so we both put it down to that

OP posts:
Honeyroar · 30/12/2020 21:03

If someone can’t be there for you through tough times they’re just not worth it.

And my friend’s husband left her at 56, she was distraught and terrified she would never meet anyone else, but a year on she is happy with another man..

WhenISnappedAndFarted · 30/12/2020 21:14

My DP did the same last night, we were together for 10 years, engaged for two and he's suddenly ended it.

I'm feeling heartbroken today and an absolute mess. There's nothing I can say OP but I just want you to know you aren't alone and I'm so sorry Flowers

Original poster
crochetmonkey74 · 30/12/2020 21:28

wheni how are you going to get through it?
I feel at a loss and devastated that we were not as solid as I obviously thought

OP posts:
WhenISnappedAndFarted · 30/12/2020 22:11

crochetmonkey74 I have no idea, I've had to move out and recently lost my job so I've lost everything and the stupid thing is I just want him back.

I keep on getting told it will get easier but I just can't imagine my life without him.

Original poster
crochetmonkey74 · 30/12/2020 22:34

I'm not sure I want my do back after this, I think I just want it to be different but that sounds stupid

OP posts:
WhenISnappedAndFarted · 30/12/2020 22:52

No it doesn't sound stupid at all.

It's early days, be kind to yourself

Honeyroar · 30/12/2020 23:12

It’s early days, it’s natural to think you want them back and be devastated. Look after yourselves. Surround yourself with people that care for you if you can. Make sure you eat. Take it one day at a time for now.

Original poster
crochetmonkey74 · 30/12/2020 23:21

It feels impossible to imagine my life not progressing with him in it

OP posts:
Original poster
crochetmonkey74 · 31/12/2020 03:34

Cant sleep at all, just feeling so in shock

OP posts:
DrDolittlesParrot · 31/12/2020 03:47

crochet sorry you're struggling. I think it just takes time, like anything. It's a case of getting through each minute, hour, day until you think about it less.

I can't sleep either. My relationship ended a couple of weeks ago and whilst it was my decision, I'm still very sad it didn't work out and spend hours every night reminding myself why it was the right thing to do.

Original poster
crochetmonkey74 · 31/12/2020 03:51

Dolittle it's awful isnt it . Ultimately I know it will be for the best but its come so out of the blue I'm in shock. I also hate feeling sick and upset to the point of almost phobia so I'm worried I wont sleep ever again etc etc

OP posts:
MsDogLady · 31/12/2020 04:21

I’m so sorry, OP.

What does he mean ‘wanting different things’?

What is your living situation?

Original poster
crochetmonkey74 · 31/12/2020 04:42

We live together but he doesnt want to buy or get married. He says hes just fallen out of p
Love with me

OP posts:
MsDogLady · 31/12/2020 04:58

Since he has thrown this grenade into your life, has he now gone to spend time elsewhere? Surely he has a plan. I wouldn’t want to be under the same roof if I were you. He would have to leave.

MsDogLady · 31/12/2020 05:26

Crochet, do you have family/friends whom you can turn to?

Original poster
crochetmonkey74 · 31/12/2020 05:53

Yes he has gone to family and will collect things over next few days. I have v good friends who have been here and my sis is coming tomorrow

OP posts:
MsDogLady · 31/12/2020 06:05

I know you’re devastated, so having loved ones around you is such a blessing.

Swipe left for the next trending thread