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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

How long into your relationship did your bf say he loved you...

46 replies

katiie3 · 29/12/2020 23:03

Hi guys,

Every relationship and situation is different but I was just wondering at what point/stage in your relationship, did your partner say, I love you.

How long did it take them to say it etc

OP posts:
Kottontail · 29/12/2020 23:05

Three months in & has sent love songs etc but not said the words. I'd feel it was too soon. How long are you together?

Palavah · 29/12/2020 23:09

About 8 weeks, but I didn't believe him and didn't say it back. Said it after 3 months.

In a previous relationship we went a year without saying it. Not a good relationship.

katiie3 · 29/12/2020 23:14

@Kottontail current relationship is heading into the 7th month

In the past I’ve been in a relationship for 13/14 months and nothing. That wasn’t a good relationship.

OP posts:
HPD76 · 29/12/2020 23:18

Between our first and second date. We had been friends for a long time before and talked for hours each day and still do even though we are living in different places 90 miles apart. It was unexpected but we fell for each other hard and it’s only got more intense over the 18 months we have been together.

Kottontail · 29/12/2020 23:21

I think I would want to know how he was feeling by seven months in. Would you tell him first? Maybe he is unsure how you feel.

Cocolapew · 29/12/2020 23:29

Less than a week.

MarkRuffaloCrumble · 29/12/2020 23:31

I drunkenly muttered it to him the first night we met BlushGrin

He said it to me about 8 weeks in I think, but we had both hinted at it before that but caveated with “I’m not ready to start bandying the L word about but...xxx”

TwoHoots74 · 29/12/2020 23:42

7 weeks in and he sighed and said aarrgghh. Will never forget that day. Even now 2.5 years on it still feels like someone punched me in the stomach when I think of it.

whatthehelldowecare · 29/12/2020 23:46

We were six months in, but awkwardly hinting at it from 1 months in, just both much of a shitebag to say it. I vividly remember telling him after about 6 weeks that 'I that-thing-more-than-really-like you' 😂 we were adults, despite acting like 14 year olds..

mindutopia · 30/12/2020 00:02

I don’t even know. Er, maybe between 3-6 months. I was very unwilling to believe it was anything but casual at the beginning (we were both working abroad and not even from the same country, seemed futile really!). I didn’t even call him my boyfriend for the first 3 months or so, so must have been sometime after that. We’ve been married 12 years with 2 dc, so I guess good things come to those who wait - but really I don’t even remember now. 😬

1manwenttomow · 30/12/2020 00:03

6 days into dating which was 13 days after meeting him.

monty09 · 30/12/2020 00:21

Known each other for 20 years, went out for 9 months at school. Got together 9 months ago and was 4 months in when he said it, I was a bit earlier than him.

BrandyandDeath · 30/12/2020 00:26

No idea. I tell everyone I love them when I'm pissed and he's the same.

Chipsandchesses · 30/12/2020 00:29

My ex took 18months. I used to lie to myself and say he SHOWED he loved me. But he didn’t. He was a twat

WitchWife · 30/12/2020 00:36

About 4 months. I nearly said it before him but wasn’t the right time.

I have a friend who’s still waiting nearly 2 years in. I would have gone mad and dumped him by now!

BarryTheChopper · 30/12/2020 00:46

2nd date, We had been been friends/colleagues for about 9 months before though so hopefully not quite as stupid as it could have been.

That was 22 years ago and we have had our ups and downs but absolutely no regrets.

Shodan · 30/12/2020 00:55

One year.

Turned out he'd been waiting for me to say it first, and I'd been waiting for him to say it first (don't ask why, I have no idea Grin).

He was convinced I 'knew' that he loved me. I told him that I wasn't a bloody mind reader thankyouverymuch and just to bloody say it in future.

So he does. Every day.

Samedaysameshit · 30/12/2020 01:43

Why does it matter
It’s just words.
By the way
I love you

HereIAmOnceAgain · 30/12/2020 02:00

1 month in with STBXH, we were both teens. I said it back 2 weeks later. Been together 20 years, 15 of them good.

Irisbloom · 30/12/2020 02:02

He said it on our 2nd and 3rd dates, I knew he didn't really then though and it was just in the moment and excitement so I didn't say it back. He didn't say it again and then I said it to him about 4 months in and he said it back. I still didn't know if I believed him then but it's been a year and I believe him now.

wingingit987 · 30/12/2020 12:23

6 months I think. Xx

mistletoeandsigh · 30/12/2020 12:26

Quite early, a month or so?! But we had known one another as friends for more than 20 years.

Wanderlusto · 30/12/2020 12:43

Jeez this thread is terrifying. If someone is telling you a few weeks or even a few months in that they love you, they are most likely trying to sell you bullshit.

If I ever heard it much before the 5-6 month mark, I'd take off running like a shot.

TheWindowDonkey · 30/12/2020 12:54

About 11 months in. I said it earlier but I am much more heart on my sleeve than he is and our relationship beginning was complex with both of is going through break ups from very long term relationships.

Mylittlepony374 · 30/12/2020 12:58

Maybe 3 months? And I remember being like, what the fuck you weirdo I barely know you. Now together 13 years.

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