How long into your relationship did your bf say he loved you...

[katiie3]

Hi guys,

Every relationship and situation is different but I was just wondering at what point/stage in your relationship, did your partner say, I love you.

How long did it take them to say it etc

DH said it about a month after we started dating, but had known each other about 6 months.

Abusive cunt ex said it after a heart, which just happened to coincide with the day I first caught him cheating.

6mths I think

Dh and I had been seeing each other for about 6 months, then we "officially" got together and it was probably another 6 months after that when he first said it. So all in all around a year after we started dating, my response was still 'what' I probably didn't say it back for another month or so haha.

@Wanderlusto

Jeez this thread is terrifying. If someone is telling you a few weeks or even a few months in that they love you, they are most likely trying to sell you bullshit.

If I ever heard it much before the 5-6 month mark, I'd take off running like a shot.

You'd think it'd be really sensible to take time etc (and it is, especially when making a commitment). However, the only relationships I've had where a man took ages to declare love for me were crap ones that never went anywhere. I think generally men go for it and fall quickly if they are going to at all.

I blurted it out during sex about a month in 😁 he reciprocated and afterwards we had the "so I actually meant that, me too" discussion.

That was 17 years ago and it's worked out fine so far.

I don't think the timeline of when the words are said are important though. Look at their actions. Words are just words, anybody can say I love you and it have no connection to how they actually feel. Too much stock is put into telling somebody, that we forget to put attention to how they treat us.

He said it to me 4 weeks after we met. I'm not sure what we had then was love. We fell hard and were in touch pretty much all day, phoning and texting at every opportunity, getting to know each other, meeting in the evenings and weekend etc.

Whether he meant it or not, it meant a lot to me as he struggles to say the words after stuff he went through in the past. He was with his ex 6 years and only told her he loved her twice, and he was pissed both times. Both she and he have told me this. So I knew his feelings for me must be strong.

Now a few years down the line we live together, run a business together, and say we love each other every day.

He said it inadvertently a few months in. I can remember exactly what happened, although not when it was. I had jokingly asked him to buy me something which was nice, but dreadfully over-priced. He said 'I love you but I'm not buying you that'. Bit less than a year in I was upset about something happening in my life and he said 'I still love you' but really it was the first time he'd said it properly. We're 2 years in now and going strong but neither of us is overly lovey-dovey. We're quite well suited like that.

Eeek - after 2nd date! We had known of each other for a good 10years though.
15years and 3 children i would like to say we both feel the same, he still says it every day anyway.

In the middle of sex on our third date I wasn't really thinking and said I loved him by accident. Thought I had gotten away with it until after we had finished, he grinned at me, kissed me on the nose and said he loved me too.

6 months. He said it first. We wanted to wait but obviously both felt it much sooner! I don't know anyone in real life who left it later than this. On the other end of the scale we know a couple who said it on the first day they met (and that was years ago, happily married with children now).

About 6 weeks in! He just came out and said it and I said it back. I think I loved him virtually straight away to be honest but I wouldn’t have said it Some people will call it lust/ infatuation or whatever and say it’s not possible to love someone so quickly but I know it is because I’ve felt it. Still feel the same now almost 15 years on.

15 months in and it very much doesn’t get repeated often. I say it all the time!! But he does show he cares!

2 days
It felt right-and we are still together
We took our sweet time over everything else like living together etc

DH told me on the second date. I remember it really well, he said ‘I know it’s so early to say this but I think... well I think... I think I might love you’. I thought it was rather lovely and we’re married with kids now so he didn’t say it hastily .

Not sure timing matters as such. And people are different in the meaning they put in those words.
For some - they utter it easily, while in early stages and in lust with each other.
For others - they need to actually know the person, beyond the initial physical attraction.
And that can’t happen after a few weeks.

For me - and I realise I am weird a bit - it’s extremely difficult to get up that stage as for me those words mean something quite deep and long term. Sort of like saying it only when I know I want to be with the person for the rest of my life.

6 months. He said it first. We wanted to wait but obviously both felt it much sooner! I don't know anyone in real life who left it later than this.

I think it might depend on your age and your past. My OH and I were distinctly middle-aged when we met. We have both had experiences where we've met someone, fallen very much in love very quickly, known they were absolutely right, and then found out that no, they were quite wrong for us. Once you've been dumped by someone you just know is the love of your life, you do tend to be a bit more reserved.

So yes, we waited until we really knew each other and had spent a lot of time together. I knew early on it might be very serious, but I also know these things don't necessarily pan out.

Interesting thread! It makes me think about when do things "start" with another person. First date? When you went official? (if that is a thing, I've never actually had that convo irl, it's just sort of happened...)
I've been seeing a guy for about 3 months, we.speak every day, see one another twice a week, we're exclusive (although that's not a decision really, it's just what feels right to both of us.) I've known him for 2 years. I've slowly realised that I do love him, but I don't feel like I can say it yet. Also, it's a very honest and fond sort of love- the kind of love of thinking he's a brilliant and kind person, and that whatever happens I'll always care about how he is and what he's up to.
V v different to my ex, who turned out to be horrifically abusive and manipulative. He used the L word as a weapon, and started wielding it very early on.

About 2 weeks, it was while having sex and I said it back. Looking back it was maybe too soon to love each other but I just knew he was the one for me. We're married with a gang of kids now.

I think it was after about 3 weeks. And we're still together almost 10 years later ❤

A couple of months. We’d been dancing around it for a few weeks by then though.