Is true platonic love better than romantic love?

[fuckedandbombed]

I met my husband whe I was 15 . He is my best friend . The one person in the entire world who truly knows me - but sex was always awful. Embarrassing.

6 years ago I met someone who I had sexual chemistry with and so before anything happened I left . Lived in my own . Ended up having a disastrous relationship with that bloke . Sex was amazing. Nothing else was .

I've been single now for 28 months. I'm still best friends with estranged husband. We've known each other now for 33 years. I spent Xmas with him - we have 2 grown up children. Had a lovely Xmas with him, kids and their partners.
I sobbed all the way home . I mis him So much . I miss my life . Can people be happy in a platonic marriage? He is the only person who truly knows me - when he tells me what music I'd enjoy or what tv I'd enjoy- I'm home . There isn't another person on this planet who knows me like he does . I've life's alone now for 2 years. I miss him so much. But I also miss having that sexual connection I had with my recent ex . What's more important? Help me please!

Could you not just enjoy a close friendship? My ex (not as long as you, were only together 18 months) has become my best friend and my emotional support for all my wobbly moments this year. Hopefully he'd say the same back.
However, we are both clear that we never want to go back to a romantic relationship

It's just not me . I want everything with one person!

I think this comment answers your own question.

From a different angle, my best friend in all the world (same gender, neither of us gay) and I would live together brilliantly, and grow old together, supporting each other through life and do an amazing job of being each others best friend, champion, cheerleader and supporter. We've known each other most our lives, we know each others intricacies, we have even lived together for a few years. We've even joked about doing it in the future. But neither of us would actually want that forever, and wouldn't vow to each other to spend the rest of our lives together. It wouldn't be enough.

I’m not sure about this but I think in most cases the initial sexual attraction fizzles out over time and the sex ends up very samey though still nice. My DF used to say to me that one relationship ends up much like another ie largely platonic. People may disagree with me but I don’t think it’s common to want to rip his clothes off regularly after years of domesticity

I had to make this decision when I left my exH - my best friend, a truly excellent man but I was never that sexually attracted to him. I made the decision to leave as I wanted more from my life, and also thought he deserved someone who was attracted to him in that way.

It's been a few years and I did question my decision when things didn't work out with the hot sex guy I met after leaving my exH. Like you I knew I could have gone back and carried on with the fantastic life and connection we had. But I decided to stick it out alone. Sure enough after much trial and error, a lot of mistakes along the way, a lot of regret and doubts, I've met my now bf who I have great sex with and who understands me equally well. And my exH has met someone who definitely fancies him more than I did. We are not as close anymore out of respect to our current partners, and I feel silly now for thinking no one else in this world would understand me like he did!

I would advice to keep trying - it's easy to get disheartened when you don't meet someone quickly after divorcing. But there's a lot of men out there, and staying single you at least have the hope you can meet that right person. A sexless life is very very very long and it can take away some of your 'sparkle' and change the way you see the world. No deep platonic love can ever make up for those moments in life when you look into your lover's eyes and just feel at peace that there is someone who understands your body, as well as your mind.

I just can't see me meeting anyone else now tbh . I do t fancy anyone like I did recent ex and I do t have any connection to anyone like I do hubby. We'd have been married 30 years in April. I miss family life , board games at Xmas laughing . Just being accepted for me . I've a few irons in the fire date wise but llockdown is putting paid to those ! I feel so selfish.

I don’t think you should go back to your ex. For his sake. I don’t think it’s fair on him from what you’ve said.

My recent ex - although the chemistry was there - he really didn't like me or accept me . I really annoyed him and he was intolerant and nasty towards me. Abusive often . I don't know if I just crave familiarity and feeling at home . I'm actually doing fine alone on the face of it .

I know - it just makes sense in so many ways to go back . It would make financial sense and I know we could grow old together and be happy in each other's company. I know I sound selfish. But I also know my hubby would agree . I'm still paying half the mortgage and rent . We both struggle financially. If we just pooled our resources we could have a decent standard of living and we get on so well it would be easy .

I'm single, got divorced a few years ago.

I'm really into a guy I have great sex with & at the same I have a friendship (we tried a sexual relationship but there was no attraction for me) with another guy.

Between them they fulfil me, but ideally the guy I have great a sexual relationship would be interested in more with me - but he's not, so I accept this is probably as good as I'm going to get. I would be happy having him as a long-term FWB - but I can tell he's going to lose interest in me pretty soon.

I'm in my 40s and look great for my age, got lots going for me etc. I think I have next to zero chance of finding my equal in a man - with sexual chemistry too - I've probably got more chance winning the national lottery.

In your position I would probably go back to your husband, and see if you could have an open relationship with a FWB on the side.

Why do you keep saying how well you know each other when it us obvious that he doesn't know how much you now crave a good sex life. Anyway, why is knowing everything about each other so important? I'm in a 30 year relationship and they never cease to surprise me.
Don't settle for safe, go for fun, challenge, excitement. In other words go for a life.

Just because mr.hot sex didn't work out doesn't mean you have to go back to your husband.

You could still mind someone you have an amazing connection with and still have good sex.Your husband and mr.hot sex aren't the only 2 blokes in the world.

At the same time your husband might also have the opportunity to meet someone he has a great connection with and not actually mind the lack of sex;some women don't want it.

Do you want to spend the next 40 years married to someone you've "settled" for?

I just can't see me meeting anyone else now tbh

That doesn't remotely mean that it won't happen. You've got decades left on this planet. Pandemic-aside, people meet people all the time. At all ages. Even when they've already had a soulmate. Just listen to how Judi Dench talks about her beloved late husband, yet she's found another DP. I think you'd be crazy to think your only option is companionship with a man you don't fancy At All with zero sex - esp when you've got a lot of catching up to do on that score. I don't get why it's this zero sum game. You're still friends with your husband anyway so why not just have that and when the world re-emerges you can look for someone else for a real romantic and sexual relationship, whether lifelong, fleeting or somewhere in between. Maybe you also need to separate properly to draw a line under this debate. Sounds like it's adding to your inability to even imagine other possibilities, which is sad for a woman of 48 who sounds like a great catch in many ways!