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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Should i have forgiven him by now ???

61 replies

nutcracker · 25/10/2004 12:36

Not sure why i'm asking this as it may already be irrelevant but it's bugging me so here it is.

Bit of history first.......When i met dp he had his own house but as he was in the process of a divorce he had to sell it. He had a lot of debt and couldn't get another mortgage and so we moved in to a rented house together which was all fine no probs.
When Dd1 was 10mths old he managed to get a mortgage (didn't have me on it as i have bad debt too) and we moved to live in the road i grew up in, in which my dad and brothers still live.
I was ecstatic, loved the house despite it needing work, and loved the fact that i was so close to family and friends.
After a while i became pregnant again and we had Dd2. Shortly before her birth Dp came home saying that the factory he worked in had offered him voluntary redundancy. He was in no means being forced to take it as there were loads that went for it, but because he had been there for 23 years we knew he would be offered a largish amount. As soon as he told me i said that he could only really consider it if he knew he had another job to go to and he agreed. We decided we needed to talk about it some more but the next day he came home and told me he had told them he wanted to take the offer.
I was gobsmacked and really upset but he reassured me that he would start looking for another job staright away.
Anyway basically he didn't and shortly after dd2 was born he left. At this point he still wasn't looking for work and so i asked him to at least pay off some of our debt with the mioney and do the house up a bit so that if the worst came to the worst we could sell the house.
He agreed, infact promised and then did the exact opposite. He wasted the money, even brought an old porsche.
Eventually we lost the house, and i walked around our local area for 3 hours one day trying to find somewhere for us to move to. Dp again did nothing.
I eventually found us a house which was in a crappy area and more in rent than our mortgage had been but that was all i could find. I was desperate not to be in the house when it was reppossed.
We stayed in the rebted house for 6 mths whilst i fought for a housing asscoaition flat which we eventually got. I should have called it a day then and moved in on my won with the dd's but i decided to let him come to.
As you provbably know we have now moved from the flat to a house as we have Ds too.

Anyway dp resents the fact that i still haven't forgiven him for what happened with the house.
I am still very angry and upset about it as i was heartbroken to have to leave and am angry that he obviously thought so little of me and the kids to do that to us.

He reckons i should get over it. It was about 4 years ago now, so is he right, should i get over it ???

OP posts:
jampot · 25/10/2004 12:42

hmmmmm this is a hard one nutty -

I too would find it very hard to try and get over this too especially if you are having to struggle now and are in a harder situation (ie. more children and therefore childcare expenses v high if you were to go out to work). but he is working now isn't he?

What is he doing to try and get you back into the situation you were in before - ie. mortgage, better financial standing etc?

Titania · 25/10/2004 12:43

I wouldn't....at the end of the day he made a decision that should have involved both of you and did nothing to recify the situation. How long did it take him to get another job after that?

sandyballs · 25/10/2004 12:43

I would find it extremely difficult to ever forgive him if it were my DH, he let you all down very badly. In fact, I think i'd find this situation harder to forgive than if he had had an affair because it involved your children's home and their welfare. He's very lucky that you had him back. Having said that, you did take him back, you have had another child and you need to try and focus on the future rather than the past, easier said than done I know. Big hugs.

Caligula · 25/10/2004 12:49

Nutcracker, I don't think you can get over it until you really clear the air as to why it's still an issue with you.

Do you feel that your DH would do the same again? Is there something about him that this one incident crystallises for you, which is why you can't let go of it?

Not much to suggest really, except that maybe some relationship counselling might be of benefit.

nutcracker · 25/10/2004 12:51

He eventually got another job yes, but only cos it was handed to him on a plate.

He has done nothing to try and improve our lives either, hasn't tried to clear any debts, improve his job, he can't even be bothered to decorate the house.

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Titania · 25/10/2004 12:52

i would be fuming.....what does he say when you confront him about all this?

JoolsToo · 25/10/2004 12:52

I am terrible at forgiving and forgetting - in fact forgetting is not on the agenda! Having said that, if you want to stay with dp you're going to have to work hard at the forgiving bit at least or it will never work. How has he behaved over the last 4 years? Has he apologised for all the upset he put you through? if he has I don't see how you can ask for more - he can't keep paying forever. You either put it to bed in the back of your head and move on, if not it'll only fester and it'll just make you miserable. After 4 years it still sounds 'raw' to you and I know forgiving is easier said than done! Wish you well nutty and hope you can move on.

Mum2girls · 25/10/2004 12:52

Regardless of whether you should, you obviously can't at the moment. Agree with some of the other comments in that I would need to see a major shift in the way he behaves.

I think his attitude, in light of what he's put you and the kids through is very immature - it's no good him just resenting you, he ought to feel like he has to win back your trust and respect.

I suppose it all boils down to whether you love him and want to move on. Assuming you do, have you thought about maybe going to Relate?

nutcracker · 25/10/2004 12:53

Yes i have no doubt in my mind that if he felt like it he would do it again.

The bit i can't get out of my head is that he obviously didn't care what would happen to us at all.

OP posts:
sobernow · 25/10/2004 12:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

vict17 · 25/10/2004 13:01

I think you either need to come to terms with the fact that the relationship is over or go to relatonship counselling as I can't see how you can go on worrying that he might do the same thing again. What a pants situation

nutcracker · 25/10/2004 13:05

What happened has turned me in to quite a controlling person as i don't let him have any money now, he doesn't even have his won cash card as i just don't trut him at all.

Any chance to improve our lives as well he always turns it down. Better jobs, he'll pick at the hours e.t.c

OP posts:
vict17 · 25/10/2004 13:07

I just can't see how you live with him and not trust him. It must be awful. Is it just money you don't trust him with?

nutcracker · 25/10/2004 13:08

TBH i have already almost decided that it's time to call the relationship a day anyhow, but was just wondering really wether i should have been a bit more forgiving of it all and maybe that it's my fault the relationship is so bad cos i couldn't forgive him.

OP posts:
MrsDoolittle · 25/10/2004 13:08

Nutcracker - what an awful situation to be in. I am afraid I would find this very difficult to forgive. How could he be soo irresponsible towards his family?
It really sounds like are not ready to forgive either.
You sound so sensible.

nutcracker · 25/10/2004 13:09

Yes it is just money i don't trust him with.

OP posts:
Tinker · 25/10/2004 13:10

nutty - it is not your fault. It's his attitude that stinks, he's not prepared to discuss and concede that what he did was irresponsible. If he can't accept that you can't move forward.

nutcracker · 25/10/2004 13:11

He has said that he agrees that what he did was wrong but i don't think that what he means.

I think he knows it was wrong but that he doesn't think he was wrong to do it if that makes any sense.

OP posts:
Thomcat · 25/10/2004 13:11

Well anyone in their right mind would be angry with someone who did that to them, he was bang out of order.

thing is though why ARE you still resenting him FOUR years down the line. Why can't you let go? What use is it still resenting him and holding onto all this anger?? I can totally understand you being bitterly disappointed with him, feeling hurt and angry. But the way I see it is either really sit, thrash this out and fight the demons and put it behind you or carry on being angry and let it eat away at you and risk damaging your relationship.

I personally think you need to tell him you'd like to get over it but to do that you need to get some things off your chest, ask him to apologise for the last time, ask him to guarantee that he'll always put you and kids first and not act in such a reckless way again, and then move on babes. Take a deep breath, tell yourself the only person you can really rely on is yourself but that hopefully your DP will be more responsible if anything like that happens again and move on.

TC x

hercules · 25/10/2004 13:12

Nutty - you are still young and you could spend the next 20 years deciding whether to leave him or not. If you want to leave him then leave. If not then you need to make the most of your lives together.

It would be awful to look back in years to come and regret either not leaving or staying and being miserable.

It's not easy either way...
Good luck in what ever you decided.

If it were me I couldnt forgive him but I probably wouldnt have the guts to leave either.

hercules · 25/10/2004 13:12

Nutty - you are still young and you could spend the next 20 years deciding whether to leave him or not. If you want to leave him then leave. If not then you need to make the most of your lives together.

It would be awful to look back in years to come and regret either not leaving or staying and being miserable.

It's not easy either way...
Good luck in what ever you decided.

If it were me I couldnt forgive him but I probably wouldnt have the guts to leave either.

vict17 · 25/10/2004 13:14

If you left him where would you go/what would you do? I think I'd would have left him by now but the fact that you've lived with this resentmant for 4 years must mean you really love him so why leave now?

Thomcat · 25/10/2004 13:14

Oh - I took so long to post that I missed you saying that you think you should call the relationship a day. Ignore what I said then, I thought you were trying to save what you had and wanted to forgive him so i was going down that route, sorry.

The only thing I stick to in that case is, the only person you can rely on is you!

Sorry Nutcracker, hope you're ok.

nutcracker · 25/10/2004 13:16

No i don't love him haven't for ages.

I wouldn't leave i fought for the house, he would have to go. His name is on the rent book but he would still be the one going.

OP posts:
nutcracker · 25/10/2004 13:17

Thats the thing really, i can only rely on me so he may aswell not be here.

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