Me and ex DP had been together two years. At the start, maybe six months in, I explained that I had been in a very abusive relationship and I wanted to take things slowly. He was very full on with me, or at least he was full on in the context of me wanting to take things slowly...so maybe just normal speed for anyone else! After a year I said to him that I really needed just a few months to have some therapy and some time to gather myself together and then I would be in the best place to continue our relationship, which I emphasised to him I really loved and didn’t want to lose. He was angry, upset, a bit rude to me, said I had issues and he didn’t want all this drama, said he thought I was weird etc, then he calmed down and was massively apologetic and said he would give me the time I needed and that we would keep in touch. He was nothing but wonderful to me when we were together and I think understandably he felt aggrieved that I needed this space. I would have felt the same as we really did have a fantastic thing between us. The reason I wanted this time was I knew how serious me and dp were and I felt if I didn’t have it then I never would. My head was a mess. I told him I wouldn’t be dating anyone and that equally I was asking a lot of him so wouldn’t expect him not to date or whatever if he wanted to. We kept in touch
Six months later we got back together. Things were better than ever and we moved in and talked about getting engaged. I was blissfully happy and so was he. Next thing I know he confesses that he slept with someone ‘on and off’ in the six months we had apart and she is pregnant. I broke things off and he didn’t put up a fight or ask me to stay except to get cross with me and say that i made my bed so I need to lie in it and I’d ruined things between me and him, it was on me. It was all horrible. He didn’t know this person, met her online. So it’s a year later and for the first time in months I’ve looked him up online and he’s with her and they seem to live together, she’s not posted pics of him and her but lots of her with the child and in the house or same street etc. I keep beating myself up about the break I asked for and how really this was my fault. I’ve not met anyone since and have been dating but he really was the most amazing relationship I’ve ever had. I feel like I’ve lost the right one for me and also feel a bit blindsided that it looks like he’s started a relationship with her and just swapped me for her just like that. I’m tormenting myself a bit tonight. Any advice anyone? Just want to forget I ever met him and I can’t seem to.