Too many texts from a married man?

[LadyLightning]

I have a friend at work I have known for many years. He is married, ( I was invited to the wedding but was away at the time). He never talks about his home life, and has always been very flirty in the office. He always seemed harmless to me, and I always felt comfortable with him. A few years ago there were some allegations of inappropriate behaviour made against him, but he was cleared of wrong doing. We have always had a friendly relationship, but in the last few months have had more online contact because of changes to work, and this has led to increasingly frequent texts. I am under a lot of pressure at home (single but with responsibilities for disabled relatives) and he has been a really great support - he texts me, and we met once for a meal back when it was ok to do so. Last week we were commenting on Christmas movies and he made a comment about taking me to a movie when life is back to normal. I really appreciate his support but I am wondering if this seems ok to others? AIBU to feel uncomfortable? If it were your husband, would you be ok with that?

I think the fact that you are asking probably tells you what you truly know, deep down.
Just ask him if his wife knows and is ok about it. I think you need to be very careful - a trip to the cinema seems to be crossing an already blurred line.

he made a comment about taking me to a movie when life is back to normal

Yeah, thats a date. He's angling for a relationship. He sounds slimey.

He's the work sleaze.

He really isn't trying to be just a friend. He's warming you up to get in your knickers.

When will women understand that straight men don't suddenly strike up friendships with women unless they fancy her and either at the very minimum, like the ego stroke of being around an attractive usually younger woman, or wishful thinking if he warms her up enough, he can get in her knickers.

We, women, find it hard to believe because we are capable of being friends with all types of people, just for the friendship.

I hate to be too cynical but I agree with RantyAnty A big clue is that he's "always flirty". He has an end game.

My advice would be to immediately scale back on communications outside work time, shut down flirty banter. No need for a big drama, just pull back subtly.

The sooner you do this, the easier it will be to work alongside him without awkwardness or bad feeling on either side.

A lot of men turn nasty if they think they've been rejected sexually and have odd ideas that you've "led them on" (IME)

Im married and i occasionally go out for a meal with a work colleague who is male , we worked together for 9 years in a very small place so are friends
My dh doesn't mind one bit but then I hide nothing from him
I have no feelings for my friend or vice versa we are just friends/ ex colleagues
I wouldn't mind my dh doing same as long as was transparent and no secretive meets or texts thats the thing