I don't know about the love. But DH would be happy to go on in our relationship in the same way @Stiltonloving. But if we had our relationship the way he wanted, he would work, I would run round doing everything else and I'd be exposing my boys to the idea that it was OK to treat your partner like a 1950s housewife and ok to have moody angry outbursts and blame your partner for everything.
I honestly can't see any red flags pre kids. I suppose the way our life was set up then suited him. When eldest DS came along he barley slept for a year, it was really hard, DH was OK, not great. There was a lot of snappy grumpy behaviour. I told myself he was tired, stressed from work. So I took on more, tried to ease the burden. We moved after Ds2 birth. Compromised where we lived, not quite where we each wanted. But the narrative has become in his mind that this is the house I wanted so now everything that goes wrong in the house is my fault 🙄. There was all the little things you often see on here post kids. Him not getting up at nights, not sharing the house and kids when he was home... Years of him streaming on his tablet while I did everything in the mornings to get 3 kids ready for school/therapy/medical appointments. He worked so his downtime was sacrosanct. I'd spend hours getting our ASD/Adhd boys down to sleep every night and then walk out to him having played computer games for hours and the kitchen still trashed. I was cleaning up at 930/10 pm falling exhausted into bed and then he'd complain we never had sex. I asked him to cut down on the games, help out, he stopped doing them at all, went to watching streamed ones instead. Me asking him to tidy the kitchen before he played became him being told not to play computer games. I get that thrown at me, he gave up all these things for Me, things I never asked him too. Things like his hobby I offered multiple times over the years to do all kid stuff 2 nights a week so he could do his hobbies. Apparently that wasn't genuine and he knew I didn't mean it, despite never even trying, despite me offering over and over.
But none of that destroyed us. We were still limping along, sometimes angry at each other, sometimes in the middle over emotional making up. It was him saying he didn't think he loved me anymore then excepting our relationship to go as normal that finished us off. I tried so hard, for months, kept having sex, but it made me feel worthless and used. Having sex with someone who I loved who'd said that. Got to the point where I couldn't do that to myself anymore. And that's when he started getting having angry outbursts. It never occurred to me till recently that telling me that and then expecting our relationship to go on as normal was cruel. Now I just want to be free of him, at peace, not waring inside.