Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Anyone else worried/scared about the impact of being stuck in an unhappy/toxic relationship during lockdown

64 replies

DigitalChristmas · 22/12/2020 22:20

Feeling trapped and very alone. Tier 4/ lockdown looming and there’s no escape. I need to get ducks in a row in order to leave but due to the financial fallout from the pandemic it’s going to take a bit longer than it otherwise would.

OP posts:
Feelingchicken99 · 27/01/2021 19:59

@DigitalChristmas March March!!!!!
I am sat on my bedroom floor having a little cry 😢

DigitalChristmas · 27/01/2021 20:40

@Feelingchicken99 it’s like we’ve all been entered into a race without our knowledge and the finish line keeps changing. I’m not convinced by the return to school in March if I’m being completely honest. Realistically as overwhelming as the thought is, I think we are looking at after the Easter holidays.
Dd completely avoided her writing task today and I only discovered at dinner time so I’m going to have to monitor her much more closely from now on.
💐 for you. As strange as it sounds I’m hoping the crying helped and you got the release you need.

Will just need to take a day at a time. How are things with DP/DH at present?

OP posts:
Feelingchicken99 · 28/01/2021 10:11

He was overly concerned that I was upset that night, wanted to know what was a matter, couldn’t give him and answer my head was screaming cos am still trapped here with you, I just went to bed very early to get out of his way.
I know in my head school last aren’t going back till Easter I just have to accept this is my life untill she’s back full time school

Stiltonloving · 28/01/2021 13:23

Hope everyone is ok with all.

I have had one big row with my soon to be ex since Christmas. He constantly says how annoying I am but this is mainly because I call him out on his shit. We try avoid each other and both still work part time. He is vile and defensive if the subject is ever broached otherwise we just ignore each other once children are in bed. In the mornings I get up early and he hides away I want him out the house. May try suggest he moves to fathers house again.

DigitalChristmas · 28/01/2021 17:50

@Feelingchicken99 yep it’s horrid to have to live a lie and pretend things are ok. Especially when it’s a completely pointless exercise to try and resolve things.
@Stiltonloving can really relate to the vile and defensive behaviour if you call them on their shit. Must be in the play book for abusers. He asked me last year where I see myself in five years time in terms of what I’d like to do career wise and travel wise and I just remember thinking nothing involving you if your behaviour doesn’t change! I’ve had lots of sexual innuendo off him lately and it just repulsed me. What a horrible place to be

OP posts:
HereIAmOnceAgain · 28/01/2021 20:37

It is horrible. I can't imagine ever wanting to have sex with DH again. So ick.

Feeling really trapped. Our eldest boy still doesn't trust DH and looks like that's not going to change anytime soon. Its so complex with the boys all having SN and DH not being good with that, no patience and snappy angry behaviors.

Feelingchicken99 · 28/01/2021 20:53

Sex yuk couldn’t think of anything worse! I’ve even made a stop to the cringe peek kiss before he leaves for work makes me shudder,
Hope your all ok

DigitalChristmas · 28/01/2021 23:00

How did we get to this point... I’m assuming we were all happy with our partners at one stage.
I’m too young to live in a sexless marriage but not just that a marriage lacking genuine care and affection, rather than my reality of a quick peck on the cheek or lips before he goes to bed.
Even just having someone to talk to once the dc are in bed would mean the world to me. Instead more often than not he’s glued to his computer.

OP posts:
HereIAmOnceAgain · 29/01/2021 00:47

In my case a lot of him doing very little outside paid work, even though we have 3 kids with SN. Resentment that he wouldn't even help with the little things like cleaning up after a meal I'd made or not streaming on his tablet at the table during meals. Being blamed for everything that went wrong in our lives. Then being told he didn't think he loved me anymore, but him refusing to discuss it till he was ready. 2 years and counting and he's still not ready..... That killed our sex life and then a few angry outbursts at me and the kids was the final death blow. I love/ed him so much. Been together over half my life. Still can't believe we're here.

Feelingchicken99 · 29/01/2021 08:03

Mines the total opposite, it’s like he’s obsessed with me, smothering! He likes to do everything together I used to just get on with it and then I noticed he’d even come upstairs and watch me dry my hair, he relies on me for all his interests apart from work he has none, I’ve worked hard to build a him a better friendship with his group obviously at a cost £ to me for holidays etc and giving up my free time, as I’ve got older and am only 39 he’s getting worse, I have totally emotional detached from him and I have told him about how is obsessive behaviour bothered me and he will then move out the room when I walk in throw sarcastic remarks at me to make me feel guilt, I don’t think it would be so bad if he had something other to do than ME, he doesn’t do anything with DD alone unless made to where as I go on adventures with her but I have taken time off through these lockdowns and not told him I have holidays planned untill the day before so he can’t tag along.
So 10 years married and around 9 years of retirement built up since I had DD she was an accident a lovely one but the role I had then was one that included US travel and once I said I think I’ll have to look for a permanent role closer to home he was as happy as a pig in shit and I was stuck being a Mum.

Stiltonloving · 29/01/2021 20:38

With mine I think I saw the red flags in the relationship before marriage but I really wanted a happy family unit and I had seen the good in him. He told me he would improve once we married etc.... it was ok for a while before children and we could spend enough time to make it ok for example at friends busy with work etc. With the pressure and strain of children mine turned from bad to worse and when the selfish behaviours impact on family life it’s a pressure cooker.

Stiltonloving · 29/01/2021 20:40

I think if you cannot communicate in a way that suits you both that’s the core issue. I believe mine loves me deep down but he’s too selfish to change himself from within. If I just accepted it and didn’t call him out then I would have a fairly peaceful life but I can’t accept what my morality knows is wrong.

HereIAmOnceAgain · 29/01/2021 22:13

I don't know about the love. But DH would be happy to go on in our relationship in the same way @Stiltonloving. But if we had our relationship the way he wanted, he would work, I would run round doing everything else and I'd be exposing my boys to the idea that it was OK to treat your partner like a 1950s housewife and ok to have moody angry outbursts and blame your partner for everything.

I honestly can't see any red flags pre kids. I suppose the way our life was set up then suited him. When eldest DS came along he barley slept for a year, it was really hard, DH was OK, not great. There was a lot of snappy grumpy behaviour. I told myself he was tired, stressed from work. So I took on more, tried to ease the burden. We moved after Ds2 birth. Compromised where we lived, not quite where we each wanted. But the narrative has become in his mind that this is the house I wanted so now everything that goes wrong in the house is my fault 🙄. There was all the little things you often see on here post kids. Him not getting up at nights, not sharing the house and kids when he was home... Years of him streaming on his tablet while I did everything in the mornings to get 3 kids ready for school/therapy/medical appointments. He worked so his downtime was sacrosanct. I'd spend hours getting our ASD/Adhd boys down to sleep every night and then walk out to him having played computer games for hours and the kitchen still trashed. I was cleaning up at 930/10 pm falling exhausted into bed and then he'd complain we never had sex. I asked him to cut down on the games, help out, he stopped doing them at all, went to watching streamed ones instead. Me asking him to tidy the kitchen before he played became him being told not to play computer games. I get that thrown at me, he gave up all these things for Me, things I never asked him too. Things like his hobby I offered multiple times over the years to do all kid stuff 2 nights a week so he could do his hobbies. Apparently that wasn't genuine and he knew I didn't mean it, despite never even trying, despite me offering over and over.

But none of that destroyed us. We were still limping along, sometimes angry at each other, sometimes in the middle over emotional making up. It was him saying he didn't think he loved me anymore then excepting our relationship to go as normal that finished us off. I tried so hard, for months, kept having sex, but it made me feel worthless and used. Having sex with someone who I loved who'd said that. Got to the point where I couldn't do that to myself anymore. And that's when he started getting having angry outbursts. It never occurred to me till recently that telling me that and then expecting our relationship to go on as normal was cruel. Now I just want to be free of him, at peace, not waring inside.

Stiltonloving · 29/01/2021 22:45

@HereIAmOnceAgain sorry to hear you are in a similar position. Mine too has angry outbursts over minor issues I can’t stand it any more last time I told him to get a F* grip. We deserve better!

I have no interest in dating anyone else, and basically living as single now for now I notice only positives to be honest. Free from him, not being ignored. Don’t cook for him or do his laundry. If I feel lonely I think we’ll if we were “together” he would either be in a foul mood or watching programmes HE enjoys, asleep etc. He neglected my emotional well being.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread