husband cheated after 4 months of marriage.

[ims0rrydarlingg]

Basically just this.

Had a gut feeling something wasn’t right because all last week he was suddenly taking his phone to the bathroom and it was always with him.

Checked his WhatsApp yesterday and saw sexual messages with this woman. Apparently he bumped into her on Saturday. She is an old college friend. He says she text him on Friday and that’s the only day this happened. They exchanged numbers on Saturday too apparently. He says nothing physical has happened.

I was too emotional and a wreck to scroll up to read how far the messages go. I didn’t get past the last two messages.

She is now blocked and deleted.

My head is a mess.

I just want my hand held. I moved 200 miles to be with him when we got married. I have no friends here and no family.

You pack your bags right now and go to family and friends.

Yes. Leave him, go to your family and friends. He is lying, they always do.

The only good thing here is that you have found out what he is really like before you have wasted too much of your life on him. Leave and close the door. Go to your family and friends.

Leave. Go back to where you came from and stay with friends or family. Don't give him a second chance.

Sorry OP. He sounds like a prize dickhead. So many women have been here, I'm sure a lot of them will be along with hand holds.

Yep, staying is signing up for years of misery.

Be prepared for him to say he felt overwhelmed with the enormity or marriage, and she brought him back to his young carefree days ( basically its your fault). Or they had unfinished business and now he can finally move forward.

Seriously, just pack your stuff. Its awful this has happened but some people find this stuff out much further down the road.

💐

Leave. This happened to a friend of mine after 6 months of marriage. She stayed, they renewed their vows and everything but he cheated again (and again, probably). The shuffled on for 7 years in total but were both miserable. They finally split for good last year.

She's angry she wasted time and forgiveness on someone who would treat her like that. Don't waste yours.

I assume he got married because he felt he couldn't back out despite having doubts, or that he did so thinking he could cheat or do things like this on the side whilst still being in a comfy, stable set-up, at great cost to you.

It's clear he doesn't want to be in the type of relationship you want and deserve. Blatant sexual messages mean that most likely he would have gone and slept with her if you hadn't stopped it.

Even a lot of text flirting is eroding the boundaries of platonic friendship in my opinion. It's not just flirting with another person - they're flirting and deliberately dancing around the idea of making a platonic friendship, non platonic. It's about eroding that line of friendship for kicks and boosts to the go, and that's always a liability.

He's taking the piss and he knows it. If he's doing this just a few months after marriage, God knows what he'll be like in a decade. It's so tempting to give people second chances but I think it's sometimes a mistake. Your partner has showing that he's either deeply unhappy in the relationship, and that he fully intends to have his cake & eat it in your relationship.

Don't think think he so much 'bumped' into her on Saturday, more like they arranged on the Friday to meet up.
If he can't keep it in his pants at this early stage, there's no hope for the future. I bet she doesn't know he's newly married either, so lying all around really. If you could get her number, I'd be tempted to tell her, the leave him, he's never going to be trustworthy.

No fucking way...

I couldn't live having to police someone's behavior that couldn't maintain appropriate boundaries with women, and keep his cock in his pants.

I think you're in for a lifetime of these types of 'discoveries' and my advice is to run for the hills before its years down the line and you're up to your neck in it with a broken spirit and not a shred of self esteem.

Seriously this was the warning shot... Run.

“He's taking the piss and he knows it. If he's doing this just a few months after marriage, God knows what he'll be like in a decade. It's so tempting to give people second chances but I think it's sometimes a mistake. Your partner has showing that he's either deeply unhappy in the relationship, and that he fully intends to have his cake & eat it in your relationship.”

This. I also think they arranged to meet up. Move back to your friends and family. If you accept this now, all kinds of shit will follow. So sorry you’re going through this, OP.

Pack your bags, put on your trainers, and run like hell. Don't stick around for more of this shit, because there will be more.

Sorry kid.
The positives:
You have friends and family, albeit a way away. (Leave and go to them).
You haven't wasted too much time on this unsatisfactory man.
Making you a virtual and .
So sorry but better find out now than when you have more ties.

You say he cheated but you also say nothing physical happened. Which is it? Does it make a difference?

IMS I'm so sorry this has happened to you. Unmumsnetty hug.

Leave. My ex husband did the exact same thing.
He did it another twice before he finally left me for the other woman.
In the divorce we exchanged bank statments for full disclosure... and there he was with his o2 top ups still continuing to cheat!

Leopards don't change their spots...

You deserve better, and you know it.

He will lie and cheat again (and may have before).

There can be no love without trust, and you cannot trust him any more.

I'd be moving back home, making sure all his family and yours are told the truth by you (not lies from him that make the break up look like YOUR fault !) straight away.

You have found out who he is, he has shown you what little regard he has for you...............................don't give him the opportunity to do it again.

LEAVE.

Four months in?

Do not waste your ONE life with a man like this.

Thank your lucky stars that this happened before you had children together.

Please- pack some bags, take essentials, go to your lovely family and spend Christmas being looked after with people who really care for you.

Apart from the cheating you up sticks and moved to be with him and sacrificed lots I’m sure. What a complete kick in the teeth.
I’d leave too. Pack your bags, gather everything, get in that car and spend Christmas with your family. And hope his next shit is a hedgehog.

How awful. What they all said, please leave ASAP. Who can you call and go to stay with?

Pack while you can and go back to your family. Men like this do not change.

Go back to your friends and family before you have a baby that ties you to a man 200 miles away from your support network.

4 months in and he cheats, he will absolutely do it again when there are actual stresses to married life.

Leave. Something very similar happened to me 4 weeks before the wedding. I still went through with it. The marriage lasted 20 months as the leopard never did change its spots. Honestly, save yourself years of heartache by getting out now. You are worth so much more.

Is it easier to get a divorce /annullment after a really short time?
What a rat.
Sorry, OP.

After four months of marraige how disrespectful of you and yor marraige. Obviously he thought nothing of your marraige to cheat especially after four months. If i were you id be getting my duck lined up and getting ready to leave the marraige. Better still kick his sorry ass out instead.

You have an opportunity to either stand up for yourself or roll over and effectively hive him the green light to do this again. Personally I'd draw a line under things and leave rather than waste years trying to make things work when he clearly has no respect for you.