I’ve messed up !!!

[Help345674]

Hi guys I need some help. I have a boyfriend who I adore . Every time I’m drunk I’m messaging my ex’s and I’ve started messaging random people now too . I don’t know what’s wrong with me but I feel horrendous and humiliated . These people must think I’m mad . One of the ex’s I was literally ringing him about 20 times like an absolute syko . My poor boyfriend would be devastated. I feel sick and I don’t know why I do it do I need professional help ?

Stop drinking would seem to be the answer. If you don't like who you are and what you do when you're drunk, stop abusing alcohol.

I really believe some people shouldn't drink. I knew a lovely man but he was a right pain in the arse when he'd had a drink.

Your problem is alcohol. Stop getting so pissed that you do this. Your bf deserves better

Have you been drinking op, no judgement, just trying to understand where you are right now?

Also, some background i think is best for advice-
How old are you?
How serious are you with your bf?
Do you live together?
How long have you been together?

I’ve tried that so many times I’ll go months and think I’m okay now then drink and do it again . It’s awful I then feel terrible for weeks and my anxiety hits the roof

@Help345674 at least you're here right now, looking for advice and people to talk to...thats a good step.

I’d avoid drinking altogether. I’d tell your boyfriend too, before someone else does.

I’m nearly 30 we have been together for 6 years no kids but a house and dogs . I’m not drinking now no just very hungover and feeling like an awful human being

Stop drinking. Delete all their numbers.

Get someone to have your phone when drinking

You are all completely right I would never dream of doing anything like that sober I start with messaging them then the next time text them to apologise for texting them then I just talk absolute rubbish. Am I doing it for attention. I can never just have one drink and I always have so much fun but I ruin nights out or fun times as all I think about the next day is my behaviour

My feeling is that, basically you have created a problem drinker's pattern where when you have alcohol, you're essentially giving yourself permission to act like a psychobitch from hell or whatever. You know how you behave, and you don't have a handle on it. So you need to quit for good, tbh.

Definitely seek some professional help OP. Sounds like you are masking some deep rooted issues, could be wrong though. But definitely seek some help.

@Norwolf you are right Norwolf I feel fine sober but drunk a lot comes up for me that I probably should address . I don’t want to look back on my life with regret and bad decisions. My partner is good to me . Not perfect but a good man and I feel I need to tell him but also I’m scared I’ll loose him. Some people can just have one drink and stop I don’t know why or when I’ve become someone who completely abuses alcohol. It’s like I’m self sabotaging and I can’t stop it

I feel like such a bad person

Maybe you should see a sykotherapist.

@Help345674

I feel like such a bad person

Please can you answer my questions a little bit more about who you are/your situation, it will help.us understand a little more about you?

@Ultimateblends
Sorry I’m 29 years old I have been with my partner for 6 years we have 2 houses two dogs and two business together. I’m a pretty outgoing person and I have lots of friends who are brilliant to me and I’m also financially stable . So I’m not under massive stress or anything to cause this . I’m lonely abit as I work on my own all day and my family and friends are back in my home town

Has anyone on here had problems with alcohol?

Then, I am so sorry @Help345674 but im going to be harsh here..

You don't come across like anything is missing. I was in my early 20s when I married a man, which now I look back on and he was a great husband and I would do what you are doing and make stupid decisions, now, over 10 years on, I realise I messed up what could have been something special, on what was the "what could have beens"

You have to stop, or at least be honest is what is making you behave this way.

For me, it was thinking I was missing out on a whole other life, which my stable, loving husband wasn't giving me.

When we spilt up, I lived it up, had some good times, but now in my mid 30s, I wish I had settled for the dependable good.man I was with.

You must stop going down this route, you say your partner is everything you want him to be, the grass is rarely greener.

You must stop drinking and making a fool out of yourself and your partner

And if its a drink problem you have there are amazing boards for alcohol support here.

You need to stop drinking - totally, no lapses

There is an entire board here "alcohol support" but as someone with a lot of experience with loved ones with alcohol problems I would urge you to seek real life support.

Go to your gp in the first instance. They will likely know what is available locally and hopefully will be able to refer you to a service too.

I've never met anyone who has successfully dealt with it totally alone.

To attempt to do so is in my opinion foolish.

Alcohol/addiction changes how your brain works and affects your reasoning abilities as you are noticing.

If you continue to abuse alcohol I can absolutely assure you that the physical effects alone are extremely painful, humiliating and cruel.

Please seek help asap.

I think the fact you’re aware of it makes me wonder if you are just craving attention. Are you sure you are happy in this relationship? I can’t understand why you would message your exes if you’re content with your partner?I think some of your behaviour is alcohol induced but maybe you need to admit your relationship isn’t making you happy

Are the random people u know and ex u been contacting all from ur hometown?
Are you homesick?