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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I’ve messed up !!!

30 replies

Help345674 · 19/12/2020 00:30

Hi guys I need some help. I have a boyfriend who I adore . Every time I’m drunk I’m messaging my ex’s and I’ve started messaging random people now too . I don’t know what’s wrong with me but I feel horrendous and humiliated . These people must think I’m mad . One of the ex’s I was literally ringing him about 20 times like an absolute syko . My poor boyfriend would be devastated. I feel sick and I don’t know why I do it do I need professional help ?

OP posts:
EvenMoreFuriousVexation · 19/12/2020 11:13

Op, I'm currently having treatment for alcohol addiction.

My behaviour when drinking has got worse and worse over the years to the point where I've had police visits as I become so aggressive.

I developed a physical addiction as well as mental - I had to drink throughout the day as otherwise I would be sweating and shaking from withdrawal. So recovery has been a long process for me.

My first step was to see my gp who was very supportive and not judgemental at all. (I really thought she would despise me and that put me off seeking help for a long time.) She arranged for blood tests to see how much I had damaged my liver, and she referred me to the local alcohol support service in my city.

It has been a long road for me but I now have medication prescribed, and regular telephone counselling with the support service. The counselling has been the most helpful, but also the most painful.

I drank to keep from having to feel my feelings of pain and sadness. I was running away from them. For my whole life I've been eating my feelings, smoking my feelings, and now drinking them. At least the first two didn't destroy my relationships and hurt others.

Now I am sober and it's a great feeling.

Please seek help - you are young, you have no physical dependence yet, you can turn this around. Believe me, you don't want to get to the stage I was at.

Feel free to PM me if you like xx

MuckyPlucky · 19/12/2020 11:19

I wonder if you have low self-esteem/self-image and/or some deep-rooted insecurities and rely on the attention from others to reassure you/self-soothe these anxieties? Maybe you also rely on alcohol for the same soothing properties? Putting the two together (alcohol and the need for affirmation from other men) & you end up with the dangerous situation you’re in.... I can identify with some of this from some of my past. Its very self-destructive and I hope you can get some therapeutic input to address it. Good luck x

Help345674 · 19/12/2020 21:01

Wow guys thank you so much for all your honest and extremely helpful answers. I agree with every single reply and I feel as there’s a lot of elements to my current behaviour but I am going to stop . I have made the first step today and have made contact with a councillor. Thank you for all sharing your stories and for taking the time to help me when I don’t deserve it I’m am extremely grateful and hopefully on my way to a much better road . I’m an going to learn a massive lesson from this weekend xxx

OP posts:
Help345674 · 19/12/2020 21:16

Sorry about the typos I’m just walking the doggies . I’ve been on a big walk today on my own to clear my head ... then I went and had a good chat with a friend of mine and I told her everything. It feels good to be open xx

OP posts:
HeyDW96 · 19/12/2020 23:04

Agree that some people just shouldn't drink, I have some family who are awful drunks, and they never change, and it shits all over everyone else's nice time! Suggest you get some help if your drinking is escalating also!

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