If your DP suggested this, would you be offended?

[TotallyandutterlyMULLED]

Hi,

I'll try and keep this brief. Just wanting some outside opinions...

DP WFH, FT. I'm currently not working. We have DC and I do pretty much all things house and child care related, although DP does cook a couple of times a week. I think this is fair enough. Seems a good balance for us.

Anyway, DP comes out of the bathroom after a bath over the weekend and says, "I think we should get a cleaner". I said, no and that I felt it would look ridiculous given I don't work (no offence meant to those who don't work and have a cleaner!) and that it would make me look lazy.

I then asked why and DP said there was dust round the corners, near the skirting and round the windows. I said I was offended that they think we need a cleaner, but DP just kept saying, if we can afford it, why not? So not directly having a go, but inadvertently...having a go.

I then felt I needed to up my game and started going over areas in the kitchen I'd already gone over, before getting quite cross and thinking, hang on a minute, no. Just because I don't work, does that mean everywhere should be gleaming without a spec of dust anywhere?! Am I failing? Should I be cleaning to a professional level?!

I just don't know if I'm being silly here....

What do you think?

Go for it! I wish I had a cleaner. There so many nicer things you can do rather than clean. My mum always had a cleaner to keep her stress down.

@SquishSquashSqueeze

This is literally my sexual fantasy...

Wild

Doesn't sound like he was being rude or anything, absolutely get a cleaner if he's paying!

I would be over the moon if he wanted to pay for it. Weather you work or not just take the offer why make a thing of it. No one else need know !!!!

Bite his hand off our pup plays for this we’re both disabled worth every penny.

Meant pip

I’ve known a few people who are sahp who have cleaners.
Seems a good way of balancing it actually, it’s not your sole responsibility then and makes everyone responsible for the little bits between the cleaner.

I also once read about the knock on effect of being a high earned employing, it sort of shares the money better

This is my dream!

I work full time but when on maternity leave (for over a year) I still have a cleaner. I hate cleaning!

You're being sensitive.
At least dp offered to pay for a cleaner rather than asking you to do it.
If you want to do a deep clean regularly then knock your socks off. I'd bite his hand off tbh.

Being a good cleaner is not part of my identity or self-esteem.
I can happily live in squalour but recognise that may not be ok.
So could not offend me.

This is such a faux modesty/ humble brag post.
Oh, how could he possible even suggest we get a cleaner when we can afford to get one!

This would be a dream come true for me 😂 I didn't work for a year with anxiety but me being anxious made me clean like hell . I was too clean and done my partners head in . I work full time as a cleaner and my clients are a mixture some work full time , wfh, or don't work and are in the house when I'm there . I think no differently of any of them . I have an amazing relationship with all my customers . You will build up a bond with a cleaner. The only reason why I don't have one now is because my partner is against it . He is a tight sod tho ha ha ! And I would of had one when I didn't work . If you still feel akward I would go out of the hose whilst they are there . I would say you would probably have 3-4 hours a week on a chosen day depending on the size of your house . And I know most people don't trust cleaners alone in their houses but it's more than our jobs worth to steal anything . Not saying some don't but the majority wouldn't . Go for it op you are not failing at all x

I would not like a cleaner, and would take no notice of anyone who says there is dust, here,there , and everywhere. I have three cat's, so there are cat hairs, here, there, and everywhere, and they sit on the window sills after coming in with dirty paws, so your Husband would think my place is a bit grim.My cats wouldn't like a cleaner, they don't like strangers coming in the house.

My partner is unemployed, has been for a long time. I've sugested that we get a cleaner for the stuff that's harder for her to do. Just as she's not obligated to have the house sparkling clean because she is currently at home, i don't feel i'm obligated to make us sparkling rich because i work out of home all day. We both have very reasonable expectations. I don't expect her to have the home perfect and she doesn't expect me to be able earn a high wage.