Boyfriend was texting ex last night,would you mind?

[wizzardchristmass]

Boyfriend of 7 months was over last night.
(He is in my bubble)
We were just chilling out,we were listening to music.
It was after midnight and I noticed he was on his phone.
I asked who he was messaging,he said just a mate.
He went to the toilet and his phone flashed up.
It was his ex.
I asked him why he was messaging her.
He said a song popped on that reminded him of her so he sent her a screenshot of it and asked if she still liked them ???
Would this bother you?
It's the fact he was with me yet going down memory Lane with her.

@fortygin do you do it when you're on a date though?

I’m still good friends and in regular contact with three of my exes and if I haven’t spoken to them for a couple of weeks and something reminds me of them, I’ll often text to say that I heard/saw that thing and it reminded me of them. However, my DH is not at all bothered by it, I never lie about who I’m texting, I never message them late at night and I never, ever interrupt valuable time with my DH to speak to them.

If I ever did what your bf is doing, I would expect my DH to have the right hump about it. It’s disrespectful. Innocent friendships with no other feelings there don’t need to be hidden or minimised and relaxing with your girlfriend in the early hours of the morning is not the time to be reminiscing with your ex.

You'd message an ex around midnight, while you were with a new lover, lie about it and you'd be back and forth messaging with them?

I'd message when the song came on, in the moment. I often message other people with my DP right next to me. I don't message them when we're focusing on each other but OP says they were just chilling. I might well call an ex a mate depending on how long ago it was! I don't feel threatened by DP being in contact with his exes and I don't expect him to get the hump with the reverse.

Doesn't bother me at all that your boyfriend was texting his ex at midnight.

However, if I had a boyfriend who was texting any woman except his mum, I'd be pissed off. Because I'm like that. Not going to pretend.

Yes it would bother me, and the lie.

He lied and is reminiscing with his ex whilst with you, nope I'd bin this one.

If it really was that innocent, he wouldn't have pretended she was someone else.

Messaging an ex after midnight..when he's on a romantic night in with you?! She should not be on his mind to the point he needs to reach out to her after midnight, to ask if she still likes the band. WTF.

This would make me want to end things because he's still emotionally invested in her. How long have they been broken up, and who ended it?

Yeah, I'd dump him for doing that.

It's a weird thing because when they broke up he told me he blocked her to stop her messaging him.
Now he is messaging her.
I know I will probably get slammed for this but when he was asleep I looked at his phone.
He said to her "I only blocked you on WhatsApp,don't you think if I had wanted to block you everywhere I would have "

So now that's my brain thinking ..is that him telling her he didn't block her as he wanted contact.
Am I being paranoid ?

Seriously, I'd dump him.

I have blocked exes on WhatsApp in the past because I didn't want to see their messages every time I opened it.

It doesnt feel right because it isn't.

He's playing you, and he loves it.

I wouldn't be bothered.

@wizzardchristmass if you trusted him 100% you wouldn't feel the need to check his phone in the first place... this relationship sounds like it's not working, I'd end it sooner rather than later xx

It doesn't feel right.
In my head I'm thinking he didn't block her to keep a door open for communication.
I know he is with me and not her but there's no reason for him to be speaking to her.
It's just messing with my mind

I’d have already got rid to be honest, I wouldn't even have to ask the question on mumsnet.

Are you an adult, or more importantly is he, as this sounds like A conversation a pair of 16 year olds would be having

I don't really think I'm behaving immature.
I'm asking a question because I would like advice.
I'm assuming that's the whole point of a relationship forum.

Nope, 7 months in I'd just bin. He's a messer.

Yes it would bother me. I would probably end the relationship as I wouldn't trust him.

Do you think he was just being friendly?
Or has feelings remaining ?

If he was indeed just being friendly, why did he lie to you? I think he was leading her on, despite previously blocking her!

If you stay, your self esteem will be in the toilet, you'll be worrying constantly where he is, if he's meeting her

You really need to leave, or at least that's what I'd do- before things get more serious because this is not innocent

He's having a crack, trying to slide back in with her.

Oh OP I don’t think it’s him being friendly, he either wants her back, or is keeping his options open? Whatever your relationship is like with him, this just isn’t acceptable behavior in my opinion, I would not like my oh contacting an ex, never mind at midnight whist with you

I know I was thinking the same.
I was thinking maybe as he had a few drinks but then what was his excuse the day before.
Then thinking why he told her he didn't block her when he could have ..just so many things.

Forget the whatsapp messages.

You're having a nice romantic night in with your bf. Do you really think it's normal for him to be thinking of and starting a conversation with his ex gf during it? If you don't have his full attention during a romantic nigt, 7 months in, when do you think you'll ever has his whole focus.

If you were snogging him while the song was playing, would he still be thinking of her? How would you feel if he stopped mid snog, or mid sex, and said "Oh, this song reminds me of X. I need to message her and ask if she still likes this band."

Because interrupting a romantic moment to text an ex is not dissimilar.

I don't even think about my ex never mind message them.
I feel like saying to him if you want her go and get her.
I'm not playing second best