Checking partners phone?

[blueygreennn]

Thoughts on this?

And more referring to asking if you can look at it rather than sneakily doing it.

Do you? Dont you? Why/why not?

Why would you ?

I checked my cheating ex's phone to find the solid proof of what he was doing.

However, I wouldn't dream of checking my (now) partner's phone as I trust him.

Do you suspect your partner is cheating?

DH and I use each other's phones quite regularly...wouldn't feel the need to 'check' it.

No, never. It wouldn't occur to me to. We both have free access to each other phones but neither would check up.

Only if I had good reason to suspect and needed confirmation or evidence.

Other than that, DH and I have access to each others phones if we wanted. We have no desire to look.

I always think if you check someone's phone you're bound to find something you don't like.

Asking to look at your partner's phone, unless it's for a practical reason, is the same as saying to them 'I don't trust what you say, and need proof.' It could be quite damaging to their feelings about the relationship, and the person who is asking must already have quite damaged feelings about the relationship. It's a symptom of something, rather than a problem in itself.

Anyone who asked to check my phone, or who snooped on it, would be promptly binned.

Years ago I had a boyfriend and I regularly felt the need to check his phone, every time I did I found something, my git was always right but he wormed his way out of it

I've been with my dh over 10 years and never felt the need to check. I learned that I couldnt be with someone who's phone I needed to look at

I wouldn’t invade his privacy and certainly don’t expect him to invade mine. If I didn’t trust him I would not pursue a relationship with him.

DP would hand over his phone no problem, but I would never feel the need to demand or even ask to see it. I trust him, and he the same.

An ex, I knew I couldn’t trust him and he never let me near his phone / laptop. Of course I would snoop and would find things I didn’t like, I couldn’t trust him as far as I could throw him.

I think if you feel the need to check up on your partner like that then there are issues you need to address in your relationship.

Why would I invade his privacy for no reason? We both have each other's passcodes, I've no need to snoop though.

Do you, op?

No, absolutely not! If someone wants to check their oh's phone they don't trust them and if they don't trust them I don't know why they'd be in a relationship with them.

@amber763

No, absolutely not! If someone wants to check their oh's phone they don't trust them and if they don't trust them I don't know why they'd be in a relationship with them.

This, 100% this.

No no no. I feel like everyone has something on their phone that can be misunderstood. For example me having a moan to my mum about DP, and so on. I never look even at his screen when it beeps.

One ex (when he was aboard) sent me a nude photo of himself and took a screenshot of the screen so the camera roll was still there. A picture before his was a topless woman. He said it was an old photo funny to think of it now but definitely wasn’t funny to me at the time......

No no need too. We use each others phones pretty regularly and he often gives me his to stream a film on at night if he goes to bed early. His is an android mine is an iPhone and iPhone doesn’t allow me to use steaming apps

No, we trust each other. If you’re suspicious ask yourself why you feel that way.

We never use each other's phones and wouldn't dream of checking each other's. It's all about trust. If there's no trust it's not much of a relationship.

A few years ago I received a message saying my partner had cheated on me. I logged into his messenger account then to get proof. I'd never previously checked his phone/ accounts. I don't check my current boyfriend's phone and wouldn't unless something similar were to happen and I needed solid proof. I don't have any urge to look on his phone. I think it's an invasion of privacy and would be upset if a partner was snooping on my phone.

It's the only thing your supposedly not allowed to do.

I let anyone go through my phone ( family or friends), not hiding anything.

I don't understand how people jump on the part that you check a phone but not the fact someone brought another in your relationship without your consent?...
( and I'm not talking about an abuse partner checking it daily and excusing you of cheating non stop)

If a dp was sick, but decided not to tell you anything about the actual issue, just said I have X. You wouldn't just leave it and carry on.

Trust is all cute but it's not reality, neither is just walking out and ending things without proof.
Nothing works like that.

In a healthy relationship access should be freely available but never used - if you have a lot of red flags pointing to cheating etc then yes maybe it’s worth a look

Bet this is the OP from the other day who got roasted for spying on his DW phone and then said he'd come back and ask the same question as a woman.
If it is, you're pretty much getting the same answers op.

@Alexandernevermind

No, never. It wouldn't occur to me to. We both have free access to each other phones but neither would check up.

Exactly this. I would use DPs phone to Google something or play music if it was there and mine wasn't, and vice versa. What do I need to 'check' for?

Why do people use each other's phones? Just curious! I mean, my boyfriend sometimes hands me his phone with a video to look at or something. But we don't just use each other's phones, as we have our own.

And answering the question: it depends. If they have cheated before then perhaps for a while they'll need to be more open to their phone being checked... but generally no, I've never asked to check their phones and they've never asked to check mine either.

unicornsnowflakes it's not all about hiding something though. Mine is embarrassing! I look up private health stuff, have text conversations with friends that are personal... I don't want people rooting through my phone.