Checking partners phone?

[blueygreennn]

Thoughts on this?

And more referring to asking if you can look at it rather than sneakily doing it.

Do you? Dont you? Why/why not?

No. No need for me to use his phone and I’d probably mess something up on there as he is an Android fan, whereas I’m an Apple girl.

If you feel like you need to "check" his phone, you shouldn't be in a relationship with him.

When you check his phone, you're not just invading his privacy, but the privacy of the people he's communicating with. His friends and family would likely have the expectation that the things they send to him are private, and so by looking at his phone you're not just violating his privacy but theirs too.

If you don't trust him, leave.

@firesong and that's your choice, but if I had concerns about my health I would tell my dp, also my dp wouldn't be interested in the conversation I have with my friends and neither I with his.

But if he wants to access my Spotify in the car or look something up for me.

Then he could and so could my dc.

@Ohalrightthen I understand what your saying but if you believe the conversation you have with anyone stays with only them, then Ok 👌🏼

A lot of people aren't in bad relationships when they get cheated on, especially with the apps nowadays.
Men don't class sexting or flirting online as cheating.

But hey ho, if your dp decides to send cock pics to someone else, and you leave on just a feeling ( what would that be by they way?...)
Then at least you can say you never looked at their phone.

[quote unicornsnowflakes]@firesong and that's your choice, but if I had concerns about my health I would tell my dp, also my dp wouldn't be interested in the conversation I have with my friends and neither I with his.

But if he wants to access my Spotify in the car or look something up for me.

Then he could and so could my dc. [/quote]
I think we're talking about the same kind of access though - when you are there? You wouldn't just loan your other half your phone for half the day?

I look up really embarrassing stuff, not just physical health but mental health. I don't share all that with partners as I know I have a problem

[quote unicornsnowflakes]@Ohalrightthen I understand what your saying but if you believe the conversation you have with anyone stays with only them, then Ok 👌🏼

A lot of people aren't in bad relationships when they get cheated on, especially with the apps nowadays.
Men don't class sexting or flirting online as cheating.

But hey ho, if your dp decides to send cock pics to someone else, and you leave on just a feeling ( what would that be by they way?...)
Then at least you can say you never looked at their phone. [/quote]
Men don't class sexting or flirting online as cheating.

Decent ones do, I'm sorry if the ones you know don't though.

@youvegottenminuteslynn hehe 😉 yeah just the guys I know.

Everyone says that til they find out

[quote unicornsnowflakes]@Ohalrightthen I understand what your saying but if you believe the conversation you have with anyone stays with only them, then Ok 👌🏼

A lot of people aren't in bad relationships when they get cheated on, especially with the apps nowadays.
Men don't class sexting or flirting online as cheating.

But hey ho, if your dp decides to send cock pics to someone else, and you leave on just a feeling ( what would that be by they way?...)
Then at least you can say you never looked at their phone. [/quote]
God there's so much wrong with your post that it's hard to know where to start.

1. Yes, i think that my friends keep my secrets. If they didn't they wouldn't be my friends. I feel pretty sorry for you if you don't have the same faith in yours, that's a shit way to live.

1. If there is cheating, it's a bad relationship.

1. That's a ridiculous generalisation and if it's true of all the men you know then you really need to find better men. I don't know anyone decent, man or woman, who doesn't think that sexting is cheating.

1. I don't have a clue what you mean by this, to be honest. But if you believe your partner is cheating on you, then either they are and you should leave, or you're paranoid and ought to think about whether or not you're in the right space for a relationship. If you've got to the point where you're checking their phone, whether you're right about the cheating or not, you need to leave.

[quote unicornsnowflakes]@youvegottenminuteslynn hehe 😉 yeah just the guys I know.

Everyone says that til they find out [/quote]
You genuinely think all men cheat on their partners by sexting? Christ, expand your social circle a bit and you could raise your bar... glad you're laughing though, whatever makes you feel better!

All I can say is that if a partner proves to have been not worthy of trust at some point - then as far as I’m concerned their phone becomes fair game— you can bet your life a great many women on here who ended up in a piss poor position were thinking ‘if only I had followed my gut instinct a lot earlier’ and gained an idea of what’s going on—I’m sorry but there is a huge difference in the sexes here (and this is after all mumsnet) - I’ve known very very few men who go into great details with other men friends about their personal lives or relationships with family members etc - stuff they maybe wouldntcwant others to see. Ok if someone looked at mine it might have a few searches that someone would think WTF- today it had a medical thing and a couple of off the wall present ideas but apart from that it would be Facebook, mumsnet, my business website etc. It wouldn’t be scoring escorts, hook up sites, sending nude pics, flirty messages to randoms, etc- so I wouldn’t give a shit if anyone looked at it

@Ohalrightthen how would you know if your friends did?...

Your point if that it's a bad relationship if they cheat, my point was that a relationship doesn't have to be bad for them to cheat. So how would you know.

Trust I guess.

@youvegottenminuteslynn course I laugh because it's the idea that you believe that your 100 right and I'm wrong.

I never said all men.

And if all your experience is in your social circle then you haven't paid much attention to this relationship board.

Only women in bad relationships with huge flags get cheated on?...

[quote unicornsnowflakes]@Ohalrightthen how would you know if your friends did?...

Your point if that it's a bad relationship if they cheat, my point was that a relationship doesn't have to be bad for them to cheat. So how would you know.

Trust I guess. [/quote]
You sound deeply cynical, and like you spend a lot of time with people you can't trust. I'm really sorry about that.

[quote unicornsnowflakes]@youvegottenminuteslynn course I laugh because it's the idea that you believe that your 100 right and I'm wrong.

I never said all men.

And if all your experience is in your social circle then you haven't paid much attention to this relationship board.

Only women in bad relationships with huge flags get cheated on?...

[/quote]
Only women in bad relationships with huge flags get cheated on?...

Absolutely not, I never said that.

I took issue with you saying as fact that men don't consider sexting to be cheating. Because that's bullshit, decent men know it is as do decent women.

It's not worldly or impressive to think all men are bellends who think it's ok to cheat. Like I said, everyone has different standards and expectations.

It's sad you don't seem to know there are men who are perfectly aware what's right and wrong despite having a penis.

Each to their own!

I have done before because I thought there was something going on and I was right. Never did it before and don't need to now because my husband wouldn't betray me like that!

@Ohalrightthen @youvegottenminuteslynn

It's odd how both of you assume negativity about me because I have a different view point.

Paranoid,cynical, Sad, must surround myself with people I don't trust, hate all men. Decent men don't cheat well obviously 🙄 and I'm sure you finally have one.

But then again you both have a reason to get heated.

I didn't say your dp were currently cheating, not that you would know but because you've both been so great at communicating your thoughts on me, I am saying they will in time, that's if they didn't already.

And no way are you telling your friends stuff that they haven't told their dp's, mothers or work friends. The fact that you hope that don't doesn't mean they don't.

Now go and enjoy your decent dp's.

I didn't say your dp were currently cheating, not that you would know but because you've both been so great at communicating your thoughts on me, I am saying they will in time, that's if they didn't already.

I don't even know what this is supposed to mean as it's so garbled. I think it's a jab that our partners will definitely cheat in future if they haven't already? What an odd person you seem to be.

Raise your bar, it's nice up here!

Have a good weekend. (Hehe / winky emoji etc)

@unicornsnowflakes so basically everyone cheats eventually? Are you basing that on your own behaviours? Because if you're telling yourself that cheating is normal to ease your guilt, I'm not sure i can help you.

And yes, i trust that when i tell my friends something and ask them not to tell anyone else, that they keep my confidence. I really do feel very sorry for you that you don't have the same level of trust with your loved ones.