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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

We had an argument ,i apologised but he hasn't,could you be bothered?

68 replies

poollo · 08/12/2020 08:26

Only been seeing him again 6 months(know him previously )
We had a argument when he was drunk and he said some nasty things (acid tongue)
So I told him I wanted nothing more to do with him in heat of moment.
He immediately blocked me on his phone so I couldn't get a message through.
3 weeks later I messaged him on messenger and he basically blamed me for the whole thing (it wasn't my fault but he won't ever admit blame )
So I just apologised.
He still didn't unblock me.
So I messaged him again Sunday night and we were talking normal.
One of his responses was "I knew you would keep popping back up "
We haven't spoke since yesterday morning but he still has me blocked on his phone but is messaging on messenger so confused why keep me blocked.
Would you bother ?
Can I be bothered with this crap?

OP posts:
SleepingStandingUp · 08/12/2020 10:06

How amazing is he in bed because of assume he has the world's most talented penis and tongue to put up with this crap. Or you both 14. Seriously, block and upgrade.

PixelatedLunchbox · 08/12/2020 10:11

@poollo

I don't understand why he behaves so immature. Tit for tat so to speak
Because he's an asshole!!! There's no mystery here: except for 'why the hell you would put up with such treatment'.
Sorehandsandfeet · 08/12/2020 10:12

Please drag your self respect up off the floor and delete all trace of him. He doesn't like you but gets off on your adoration.

Ihopeyourcakeisshit · 08/12/2020 10:12

Oh dear, you are one of those people who doesn't take anything on board and picks over his behaviour trying to analyse and understand it.
Presumably you'll contact him and be readily available when he's a bit bored and needs a plaything. Hmm
Good luck sweetheart.

Divebar · 08/12/2020 10:12

”One of his responses was "I knew you would keep popping back up"

Oh dear. As soon as this message arrived I would be gone. This guy is not the one. You can think of all the time he was nice and say to yourself “ if only he was always like that all
the time” but he isn’t. He’s a game player. Take yourself out of the game.

PrincessNutNutRoast · 08/12/2020 10:15

OP, you're not imagining that the power of your love will change him or anything, are you? He's a complete plonker, you've been dating five minutes, just dump and be glad you found out so soon. Don't wonder, don't analyse, just dump and run ffs.

Honeyroar · 08/12/2020 10:17

“I don’t understand why he behaves so immature”
He does it because he IS immature! He’s shown you, on numerous occasions, that he’s an immature idiot. Yet, as he predicts, you keep lining up for more, waiting patiently to be unblocked. Come on! Have some self respect and move on. You’re never going to get an adult, mature relationship with this guy.

VettiyaIruken · 08/12/2020 10:18

He sounds like a twat.
Also he clearly thinks that whatever he says to you, you'll keep coming crawling back and it sounds from his message that he has a small amount of contempt for you.

Why do you want this?

ineedaholidaynow · 08/12/2020 10:18

Why do you keep going back to him?

BigCityLife · 08/12/2020 10:20

He's keeping you blocked because he wants to. It's that simple. Find someone else.

HollowTalk · 08/12/2020 10:20

One of his responses was "I knew you would keep popping back up"

This is one of the biggest red flags in the world.

Rainbowqueeen · 08/12/2020 10:23

No I wouldn’t be bothered. The relationship dynamics are dysfunctional and it would be clear to me that I would never be able to have a happy stable relationship with this guy
I’d block and delete on everything and set myself some goals to achieve over the next few months and get busy achieving them

JurassicParkAha · 08/12/2020 10:26

He's treating you like dirt on his shoe and you're standing around begging for more.... Why do you even have to ask whether you should dump him or not? He doesn't respect you. You must realise your self esteem is in the gutter to not be enraged by his behaviour.

Tell him to go f** himself, block him and move on.

notsurewhattodo22 · 08/12/2020 10:36

He is enjoying having control over you.

MacbookHo · 08/12/2020 10:43

"I knew you would keep popping back up”

He has no feelings for you except contempt. He keeps you around to feed his ego. He’s a bad person.

Block him on messenger and sort your head out so you’re not prey to this type of idiot ever again.

youvegottenminuteslynn · 08/12/2020 12:06

"I knew you would keep popping back up”

Stop proving him right ffs!

You need to gather some self respect, cut contact and block this man.

Him saying that was him telling you he can treat you how he wants and he knows you'll still beg and chase. Doesn't that make you feel humiliated? That's why you need to cut contact. The longer this goes on, the more humiliated you'll be and the more you'll beg and chase because you won't think you deserve better.

Be honest with yourself - even after the most recent exchange, if he called now and asked to come see you later would you agree? I think you would and that's why I think you need some counselling to investigate why you've been the one doing the chasing in such a toxic dynamic.

littleharissa · 08/12/2020 12:09

i don't understand why here behaves so immature

Pot kettle

Techway · 08/12/2020 12:44

i don't understand why here behaves so immature?

Is this a relationship or are you trying to achieve a psychology degree?
You can't make sense of an toxic, emotionally unhealthy person. You are not his therapist so won't be able to fix.

It is likely he does this because he enjoys the power over you and seeing how you respond. You either walk away or stay in this toxic loop. If you are interested read books on toxic relationships, Lundy or Patricia Evans.

anotherdisaster · 08/12/2020 12:47

He behaves like this because you let him.

mycatlovesmenotyou · 08/12/2020 14:12

OP, it's been 6 months and the man has proved himself to be a twat more than once, yet you sit around waiting for him to unblock you and then you message him.

Block him, forget him and move on. He is not a nice guy.

poollo · 08/12/2020 15:07

When you put it like that I sound as stupid as him.
Checking every day to see if he's unblocked me.
Sad thing is he will know I'm doing that too.

OP posts:
youvegottenminuteslynn · 08/12/2020 15:30

@poollo

When you put it like that I sound as stupid as him. Checking every day to see if he's unblocked me. Sad thing is he will know I'm doing that too.
Right so take control.

He's laughing at you! He thinks whatever he does, however he speaks to you, however much he shows contempt for you that you will keep popping back up.

He's been right so far.

Doesn't it make your skin crawl that he's such a prick?

What's stopping you blocking him now?

CodenameVillanelle · 08/12/2020 15:30

Yes you really do sound that way, sorry
Block and delete and get some therapy to work out why your standards are so low

MrsTerryPratchett · 08/12/2020 15:37

@poollo

When you put it like that I sound as stupid as him. Checking every day to see if he's unblocked me. Sad thing is he will know I'm doing that too.
What you have to do is work out why you think you are only worthy of contempt. Something happened to you to make you think that. Work out what it is and work on it.

All of us at some point have had a dickhead treat us with contempt. Some of us manage to tell that dickhead to fuck off and some don't. Sometimes it takes longer than once. Learn to laugh in his stupid face and tell him to fuck off.

poollo · 08/12/2020 16:58

Most people would have blocked him the moment he blocked me.
Not continued to message and give him the ego boost.
I don't know why I do it.

OP posts:
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