Want to leave but totally trapped

[Potholemum]

Married 20 years, 2 DS (13 & 11) I want to leave but:
We have not long spent a year renovating the house at a huge cost and upheaval to interim living accommodation
The house was built for our needs inc DS
DS love the house inc swimming pool we have
DS can walk to school - important for them
OH has his dream of a man cave
We are booked for OH dream holiday next year - he has spent 5 years saving and over a year planning
OH cannot buy me out
To sell the house and not do OH dream holiday would totally destroy him
DC would be so upset to sell
I wouldn't expect OH to move out, why should he when its my decision to split. I cannot buy OH out

I feel totally trapped. What do I do

If this has been going on for years then why on earth did you wait until you'd finished doing up your dream house?
The time to leave was before all that expense and hassle and before your kids got attached to the place.
What are you expecting if you leave - flirting with men who have no interest in you or your sons other than as a quick shag. I can tell you very few men are interested in a single mum with kids other than cocklodgers or blokes who want to be looked after.
Will there be a stream of new men in your kids lives because you need to feel wanted?
Why not just stay put and have a few discreet affairs to get it out of your system.

Also I've stayed single after my divorce because the men left out there are hideous, not a decent one among them. Id rather die than date any of that lot.

Yes I think OP needs to understand that these decent financially solvent men who will be not only a wonderful companion but who will totally rock your world sexually AND who want a divorced woman in her 30’s or 40’s with 2 children don’t exactly grow on trees.

No there are probably not hordes of men out there, that is a weak reason to stay imo, though it seems to be a valid one for lots of people.
You need to leave for you and you alone..your life, your choice.
Also on the flip side, whilst it is true you may never meet the man of your dreams, you certainly won't in your current position. (not sure I agree with the affairs to get it out of your system)

If you no longer love him just leave. Your life together sounds pretty crap, not even the lure of a swimming pool would make me be prepared to live like that.

I left my DH of 20 years, I left with nothing but my son and my handbag, and started totally again. But I did it and it was fine in the end.

Do you love him? I think you have a romanticised version of how life will be like. Modern dating is crap, especially as you get older. The men can be awful, there's an awful lot of shit out there compared to the decent guys and if you do it online it's pretty soul destroying. So don't leave because you fancy a flirt and some banter, you're more likely to get bombarded with dick pics and people asking for a shag.

Think before you leap, like really think.