Is my partner cheating and what do I do

[Foxi802]

So I’ve been with my partner many years and cheating was never something that’s gone through my mind.

Last night my partners phone started pinging constantly and so loud it was a noise I’ve never heard come from his phone before. He was in the bathroom and i just picked up the phone to see what it was and on the Home Screen is said a woman’s name on Instagram was trying to video call him. I just put it back down and it stopped ringing after abit. I remembered the name and i searched it up on Instagram private account but a young woman probably around our age or Little younger. I couldn’t see much more. They aren’t friends on Instagram either.

When he came from the bathroom I said “your phone was going off it sounded like you got loads of messages in a row” which it did, I wanted to see what he said. He said he didn’t know what the noise was said it does it sometimes and he doesn’t get a notification 👀.

My question is.. is it dodgy and what would you do going forward ? Honestly I want to wait it out and do some investigating before I approach him because with little evidence he could sweep it under the carpet.

I would carry on as normal for now, because if he suspects you're suspicious about anything he will be more careful anyway. Just descreetly keep am eye out and trust your gut. If it feels off it probably is. You obviously know him better than anyone. Is he texting more than usual? Does he take his phone with him everywhere where before he might have left it in the room? To my mind the fact that he wasn't honest about receiving the texts could be a red flag.

@MikeUniformMike @Ladj think I need to keep my head down and do some investigating before I approach him definitely something isn't right. I was thinking maybe it could of been his niece because they have the same name and maybe I saw the name wrong but again why wouldn't he tell me. And why is he getting a notification pop up on his phone like that when she was calling on Instagram if he hasn't got the app ? All confusing but I will get to the bottom of it. Not had much opportunity yet to look at his phone he takes it everywhere with him. But no he doesn't suspect anything as I've been my usual loving and devoted self (it's been hard 😑) soon as I get some time alone with his phone I'll let you all know what the verdict is!

Might he have hidden the app on his phone? Say behind an innocent looking icon such as a calculator?

Look at his battery usage. That'll tell you what he uses & might show the app is there. As @EpochTime says, it could be hidden. I recently deleted an app from the screen but I still have it (though don't know how to access it now 🤣).

he probably uninstalls the app each day. which allows him to keep the account active, but no visible. you should get his phone, go to the App Store, and install insta... then his account will come up, then you're in.

@EpochTime @IveGotFrills @CUniverse
So don't blow it all today because of a bad nights sleep ? Lol I'm close to just blowing it all and coming out with what I know already. I haven't had chance to look on his phone yet. He's a very light sleeper so I worried he will hear me when I grab it in the night but I'm going to have to do something soon because I'm dreaming about it every night and getting myself angry.

@Foxi802 No... do not blow it.

I have just gone through a similar thing. The amount of acting I had to do, and keeping my nerves calm. It was definitely a struggle, however, with my patience I managed to get a confession out of him. I found everything out by gaining access to his phone but never alluded to the fact. Sounds manipulative, but had I just accused him outright, he would have come up with brilliant excuses as he has done in the past and then gone on the defensive.

I like to see things in plain black and white before jumping the gun also. At the moment you don't have enough to go on, so it will look like you're losing it over nothing concrete.

@CUniverse no I agree I'm best not to do that I was in a terrible mood this morning if I dream of something it's on my mind all the next day. Definitely need to get evidence before jumping the gun no point arguing if it's nothing or if I haven't got much evidence. Men have a good way of making you feel stupid especially if you have little evidence

He wouldn't get a notification saying someone is calling him unless he has the app. You don't get those through browser, or any notifications popping up on the lockscreen. So he does have the app

Yes he has the app, get on his phone (regardless of him being a light sleeper) and have a look on the App Store and it’ll say every app he’s purchased (downloaded) and the date.

Then have a look at WhatsApp (if he has it) and scroll down from the top, a lot of people don’t realise but when you go to delete a conversation if you haven’t looked properly (most don’t) it goes into archived.

Before covid did he go on nights out a lot? He could’ve had a one night stand and she’s trying to get in touch for some reason hence why he’s not following her. She could also be an ex he hasn’t told you about? Does she have many mutual followers.

He could also have Facebook and have blocked you and anyone you both mutually know so there would be no way of finding out.

[quote Foxi802]@CUniverse no I agree I'm best not to do that I was in a terrible mood this morning if I dream of something it's on my mind all the next day. Definitely need to get evidence before jumping the gun no point arguing if it's nothing or if I haven't got much evidence. Men have a good way of making you feel stupid especially if you have little evidence [/quote]
Have you managed to get the answers you need? I hope all is well for you