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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Anyone else tired of being objectified / men's entitlement?

56 replies

Crazyfrog999 · 01/12/2020 15:50

Mid 30s, dating. I've noticed in recent years how focussed men have become on looks. Perhaps it's always been this way. But since I turned 30, and dating slightly older men, I've noticed how much more entitled they are, and how critical they are too. I'm often told I am attractive by friends, colleagues etc. I've been referred to as a 'MILF', despite looking much, much younger than any man I've dated, and having no kids, one guy even said he wouldn't normally date women over 30 - ie I'm a little on the old side for him, despite him being in his 40s! One guy said I wasn't in good shape enough, despite being a size 8/10, and going to the gym regularly and eating well.

I tend not to date good looking men, so usually average looking men - most people would consider me a catch physically compared to these guys. I don't place much importance on looks anyway. Regardless, none of these guys are Brad Pitt to be that entitled and demanding!

What on earth is going on? Confused

OP posts:
coronaway · 03/12/2020 10:46

I think we can agree OLD is terrible and everyone should reject the apps 😁

Anon778833 · 03/12/2020 11:21

I think that good looking women are best off dating good looking men - they honestly seem to treat you better! They don’t have inferiority issues and aren’t trying to brigg be you down.

This is true.

Separatedandabitsad · 06/12/2020 14:53

I think people just vary regardless of looks

Hellofriends1 · 05/03/2024 10:50

Hey,

I am sorry to say, but men degrading women because of their looks is a way of holding power over women. By forcing women to adhere and spend time on fulfilling way too harsh and impossible beauty standards, women are kept in a state of low self esteem, self doubt and spending way too much time worrying about their looks rather than stepping into their power and self autonomy. It's the patriarchal way of suppressing women.

The men that feel the need to comment degradingly on your looks are probably projecting their insecurities onto you. Not worth your time and energy. Hope you are doing good.

Best from me.

MyopicBunny · 05/03/2024 10:56

They are delusional men who think they are entitled to date rich, 25 year old supermodels. Even though they're aging old fools with balding hair and beer bellies.

They will stay single a long time.

Moonlightandroses44 · 05/03/2024 12:15

mumieone · 01/12/2020 20:17

I had lowered by standards talking to not the guys I felt were WOW but they had to feel I was WOW. I'm made alot of effort and even at my slimmest, most dolled up beautiful they still kept looking for better. I've stopped bothering now.
They are more or less all still single/pretending to be single becuase as you know most of the men online are only single until you catch them out.

Yes they want younger, 'independent' women who earn their own money, can pay for their own dates - hence online one of the first questions they like to ask is 'what do you do for a living' . This question really is a multiple of questions in one sentence. 1. Do you have a job 2. What level on the executive ladder/payroll are you 3. Are you worth chatting to for a cheap date that will pay for yourself and require no romance as a hard feminist (often assumed you will be one). 3. They want to know if you are divorced with kids what you ex did? This is to find out if you are getting any useful amount to make you financially worthy of spending time with.

I find alot of them are seeking someone to have free weekend getaways (at her place becuase they generally rent or live back with mum or caravans if they will ever admit it). If they like the occassional drop ins for free food and sex and a break from their 'hidden't wives they will turn try and see you more. If genuinely single most I've chatted to it's pretty obvious are looking for FREE accomodation 'i.e. yours' that they can eventually move into even if they don't like you so they can save up enough capital to dump you and get the slim younger women they wanted in the first place. Cocklodgers!

I'm not fooled by their jobs - Guys in top jobs ...directors of big companies etc they all follow this game plan.

I don’t do OLD now but when I did I would steer clear of anyone who used the term ‘independent’ to describe what they’re looking for.

when have you ever heard of a woman saying she wants an independent man? It’s just code for, I don’t want to have to take care of you in any way but reserve the right to have sex with you at will. In my experience, and opinion.

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