Man on POF won't leave me alone.

[loveyoutothemoon]

Customer services (if there is such thing) are useless. For a few years now the same man has been messaging me. I told him from the start that I wasn't interested. I block him but it's not permanent and he's able to message again. I block after every message as I don't want to be giving him attention by messaging back. I can't change my name as I'm not an upgraded member and I don't want to hide my profile.
What can I do?

Name change accidental, I have several as I'm a regular and post a lot.
He doesn't say anything abusive, just asking the same things over and over, wanting to meet. I've already told him no thank you, ages ago. I find it intrusive, some men seem to feel entitled.

What really gets me is I can't keep him blocked and I asked them to keep him permanently blocked at the beginning.

I don’t know whether this is a good idea really, I am thinking out loud, but one possibility would be to message him just once more a firmly tell him that if he ever messages you again you will report him for harrassment (and use that word). And then follow through with it.

Or, just report him for harrassment right now. You shouldn’t be having to put up with this - it’s creepy and weird and is clearly upsetting you. He has no right to do this.

Why should I come off just because of him? I like going on there

Would you go to the same pub if he was there? It's your choice but you can't complain if you won't take the steps you can to prevent it.

Would you go to the same pub if he was there? It's your choice but you can't complain if you won't take the steps you can to prevent it.

Yes, I would. I was harassed by someone a couple of years ago who I'd met through my local pub. The police told me categorically not to stop going there and that he had no right to impact on my life like that and I should report him everytime it happened instead.

It's no longer an issue.

But, OP, there's little point complaining about it if you're not going to do anything to stop it. It's just going to keep on happening...

Are you sure it's not the same message he's sending to countless women? Sounds like a standard opener. If so, he's not targeting you, he's just a chancer. Or is it something more personal?

How often do you get these messages?

Either he is spamming lots of accounts or he is harassing you. Either way, it's good to have reported. What did they say when you did that?

No definitely personal. Every couple of months. It happens again and I think 'oh he isn't blocked anymore' and have to block him again. How is it that he's able to do this when I've blocked him?

@loveyoutothemoon

Why should I come off just because of him? I like going on there.

Because he's an internet troll. Just start a new profile!!!!!!

Nothing @DeeandraReynolds

I'd try a different dating app, OP. Plenty more fish in that sea.

And yes, you shouldn't have to blah blah, but ultimately, it's like any other business providing a service- if it's not providing the service well and safely, take your business elsewhere.

Message him back saying I'm not interested in you, don't contact me again and then lock him. If he does message again report him for harrassment.

That does sound like harassment then. It is not good that when you block him it doesn't last as well...? While I don't think you should have to leave because of him, if they aren't protecting their users then people do need to vote with their feet as it were and boycott. They probably don't want to lose users.

X post with platinum.

He probably thinks you keep unblocking him and sees this as an invitation to start messaging you again

Have you contacted POF and had this exact conversation with them OP?

@Pechanga that did cross my mind actually. So annoying that this is a feature.

According to Google, it's not supposed to be a temporary block. So maybe uninstall and reinstall the app. He must think you're unblocking him intentionally.

POF were absolutely useless when my account got hacked. I turned into a 28 year old from America who liked to wear very revealing clothes one afternoon. They wouldn't change it back!
I can confirm however, that the men in America are as bad as the men in the UK for dire chat up lines and waving red flags in the air!

Be harsh with the stalker. He doesn't owe you anything.

Contact them and say he is harrassing you.
That's what it is as he has been told no but still continues to message.

If they don't do anything delete your profile and start again.

Op, why don’t you just email asking how to permanently block him?

Just don't reply and he'll get the idea. Is the block only a temporary thing or does he set up new accounts?

I had this a while ago with a guy who would continually set up new accounts then message a stream of total filth. I blocked and reported every time, he would disappear then reappear every time I even emailed POF to complain about their failure to protect women from online harassment and abuse by allowing this guy continually to set up accounts but nothing was done.

Sorry to say there's probably not much you can do but to block and report every time. There's a load of crap on POF but there are also decent people too and they should be able to use the site to make connections without being subjected to uninvited filth and harassment.

Have you actually messaged him back categorically stating that you’re not interested and to leave you alone?

Thank you for all the replies.

@MiddleClassMother you've got me thinking about the permanent block thing now. Yes I've looked at Google and you're right. And I've just looked in my block list, there are 4 people blocked, one of which is him I think but his photo has disappeared. His username is different from his past profile, so I think this is what he's doing.

Feel a bit stupid now. I think I need to block him on Facebook as he knows my first name. Probably easy to find as he knows the town in which I live too.