Birthday Gift - Confused

[TerryHearn]

Bought my dear girlfriend a very expensive 30th Birthday gift (IPhone 12). AIBU to be upset that she wants to keep it in the box until April 2021 before using it? She thinks she can get more use out of her very old iPhone until then. Until then the phone will sit in a cupboard collecting dust.

Did she ask for the iPhone 12? Why April 2021, seems very specific.
If I were you I would return the phone and say to her that when her phone has died you will replace it then. Technology moves on so quick, the 12 will be ancient by the time April comes around. I wouldn't be upset though, just send it back if she doesn't want it.

Apple release new flagship phones once a year so it won't be ancient in 5 months but it just sounds like she doesn't want it, to be perfectly honest.

Did she ask for one?

No she didn’t ask for one but had given what I thought were hints several times due to the battery being poor on the old one. Oh well!

Does she maybe have a contract on her old phone she can't or doesn't know how to get out of?

It’s a new unlocked SIM free phone. There isn’t a contract issue.

Could a friend have offered to buy it off her after Christmas and she's hoping to have come up with an excuse she's lost it or something?

That is a bit odd.
Does she not know how to set up the new one?

I think it is probably best to return it and then buy another when a new phone is needed. Otherwise technology may well have advanced by then (and or the price reduced).

Good idea op

Did she ask for a phone?

I mean it's nice and all but it's not that personal... for every significant, 'ending in 0' birthday, my husband has bought me something that will last forever, something to keep - jewellery, a mulberry bag and purse, that type of thing.

I know I sound ungrateful but I'd be a bit meh about a new iPhone, I know some people are big into having the latest most up to date gadget but lots of people aren't that bothered and I'm one of them.

She got the Mulberry bag last year and the jewellery the year before. But she doesn’t wear jewellery so wasn’t really an option.

You bought her jewellery but she doesn't wear jewellery, and an iPhone she doesn't seem to want.

How well do you actually know this woman?

You seem very kind hearted though, I hope she appreciates the effort.

I am starting to wonder how well I know her.

I wonder if its because of the work she'll have to do to set it up. It takes some time to customise your phone the way you want to be. I know its much easier these days but still... The thought of having to do it again would make me sigh.

Then again, I'm miserable, I love flowers but hate receiving them.

Flowers and chocolates were also bought. Surely setting a new phone up is something to do in lockdown. I give up!

Maybe she's not bothered about the latest phone. Not everyone is.
It's not about how much you spend and things cost

You may be right. The surprise cake and lounge decorated with balloons and banners was probably not right too. I must try harder!

Did she want an engagement ring? 30 seems to be the get engaged/married age. It sounds quite odd if she was hinting for a new phone.

It's quite odd. But it's quite odd to take it back too. Either it's a gift or it's not. Give her the receipt and let her do what she wants.

Is it acceptable to propose on someone’s 30th birthday? Is an engagement ring a present? I would think the two things are different.

Just a thought OP. I'd consider them separate too. Can you talk to her snd ask if she'd prefer something different?

Maybe she wanted an android?

Can you ask her? See if she wants something different? You sound lovely, by the way.

I wouldn't be excited by a new phone as a present. And not for a big birthday. I can get a new phone when my contract has expired. It's a generous gift but not a personal one, unless you know someone is keen to have the latest phone.

I assumed you were a new couple, but you mention 2 other birthdays. What has she got you? What are her interests. Would she prefer an experience (holiday etc) over an item?