Any success stories of getting back with an ex for a third time?

[Ephemeralbliss]

Does anyone have any sucess stories of getting back with an ex after multiple break ups? My ex left me twice over a 3 year period and has now returned for the third time. We weren't apart for long (only a few months) but in that time he had a full blown relationship with another woman. I love him dearly and am trying to make things work between us, but stuggling to close the door on the past. I find myself replaying everything in my head and in particular am finding the fact he so quickly moved on and slept with someone else hard to accept. Does anyone have any advice on how to put what's happened to bed and move on with him?

I split up with ex several. He was pretty shit towards me but I thought I loved him.

Eventually got rid of him and DH came along. There is no comparison in the two relationships. I never ever felt secure before. Always felt like the mad paranoid woman because that's how I was made to feel (and sometimes described).

Please spend some time on yourself instead. Someone much better will come along who you can rely on and won't bugger off AGAIN.

He's fucked you over twice OP, don't allow him to do it again. You're better than this.

Thank you all again for your thoughts and opinions. I suspect it will be almost impossible for me to trust him fully again for a very long time. I was hoping there would be some positive stories out there of these types of situations turning out well. I think, although he's made some drastic changes to his behaviour this time round, I need to accept the chances of him sincerely changing and lasting are slim.

Take the rose coloured specs off. He comes back to you when there’s no one else. Of course he’s being nice, he knows he can come back be nice for a bit then when someone else interests him he’ll be off again. You need to do some work on your self esteem. You love him (although what is there to love, really?). He doesn’t love you. Not how you want him to.

OP, you're worth more than that.

OP, why are you doing this to yourself? Its not about what he could do to you, its about what he has done already.

I'm with Seperatedandabitsadonthisone.
I initiated every break up with my last ex, of which there were many. Like Seperatedandabitsad, my ex had an awful temper, and was consistently physically abusive throughout our on and off decade long relationship/s. He often scared the shit out of me, destroy my belongings or physically grab, push me during arguments, so I would end it, but we would stay in contact and end up back together, so things aren't always that cut and dry. Interestlingly he saw himself as the victim and I the one that had drained him of all self respect, but could not see that his behaviour was what caused me to leave every time. I went back every time because I genuinely loved him and saw the glimmers of a wonderful man underneath it all, but he just never changed. There were other general incompatibilities too though, looking back now.
So I shall go out on a limb and say that not alll exes leave and return as some kind of game that intends to use the other person, but the above posters are nonetheless correct that your self respect will be eroded if you continue to return to this man. Not only that, but you will be constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop, waiting for him to leave you again. You need to make a clean break and get on with your life, before you get caught up in an on/off relationship, which will ultimately be a relationship with no trust, no true intamacy or sustained bond, and a fractured history, whereby you have no anniversaries to celebrate as you had six dates that you got together. Good luck OP.

The whole 'changed his personality' thing too...people don't just have personality transplants. Do do however change their manipulation tactics.

Think about it, has he done any work in himself? Counciling? Taking time out to be single and work on himself? Promised to be transparent moving forwards and give you full access to all his texts and emails? Probably not, right?

Talk is cheap. And talk from someone like him...pretty worthless tbh.

*They do however

I think with people you know you always fall back into the default setting of that relationship. He might look like he has changed but you will be back to square one in no time.