should i be going after other men?

[nappyaddict]

when i technically haven't split up with my boyfriend yet? somethings telling me no, but the other half of me is saying he's the one dicking around fuck him!

no it didn't at all!

i am going after them for pleasure. but probably cos i feel very unwanted atm.

even though i haven't really seen him 12 days?

i'd say it was a bit too soon i'm not sure you will feel much better for it either.
Dont let men giving you attention be the thing that makes you feel better, or good about yourself... that has to come from with in you.. although, i know it helps sometimes!

you wont truly find happiness and be happy with a partner, until you are happy with 'you'...

trust me on this one

i have a ds but he isn't ds' dad.

ummm well the last time i saw him was not the sunday just gone but the one before. then i didn't see him til saturday. and i haven't seen him since.

between sunday and tuesday he totally ignored me. finally got a text to say yes he was ok, hadn't been in an accident or anything, but wasn't sure about this whole relationship and needed to see me face to face but couldn't see me til wednesday.

i then decided fuck that he can have a taste of his own medicine so said i was busy til friday.

friday came and he wouldn't answer his phone and we hadnt arranged a time. spoke to him at 8pm said he couldnt see me cos he was going out at 8:30pm. spoke on msn til 10pm said he hadn't wanted to see me cos he didn't want to let me down. double so he agreed to see me sat morning.

we discussed things but got no further along as to what he wanted to do. had no contact from him since sat night except for one text message yesterday when i text him saying i needed him for something. he replied and i replied back but nothing since.

so you see he's been dicking me around a bit!i'm thinking of finishing it, but he won't answer the phone or agree to see me.

phew that was long. was meant to be a summary. should have just linked to my other thread

i spose i shouldn't really. it could jeapordise any slight chance we have of working things out couldn't it. i'm glad i've talked about this. in my head it sounded like a fab idea.

of course it seems like a fab idea... it IS lovely to go out, and have another bloke look at you, maybe give you a snog... it makes you feel attractive again, wanted, good about yourself, all ok, all good stuff

but... its for such a small amount of time really isnt it? you still end up waking up in the morning missing that chap you actually are in love with... and probably feeling guilty about it all.

It's kind of sticking a plaster over a wound, with out letting a scab form and then letting the scab heal? IYSWIM?

((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))) just becasue i reckon you could do with them just now

yes i need loads of hugs. am feeling rather tearful. stupid i know. i feel like i have this huge empty space. couldn't even eat earlier and its so pathetic and silly.

so better to tell him its over and then go after other men than do it whilst he's still unsure?

i can almost feel him kissing me, putting his arms around me and being next to me looking at those photos

why do something you don't want?

if you don't want to, then don't. no matter what your boyfriend is doing.

i do want to though. but probably for all the wrong reasons.

is it so wrong to just want to no someone out there finds you attractive and will give you attention?

probably.

as long as you don't take advantage of this feeling they have for you, fair play.

as long as you're honest about that, good enough.

take advantage of who? sorry got a bit confused there.

No its not SO wrong at all. but like i said, i think you will just feel guilty, or worse than you do now.

things will be resolved one way or the other soon enough with your Dp. maybe you should just hang on in there and see what happens, even if yu hurry things along yourself. I cant help thinking it will confuse and complicate things more if you go out on the 'pull'.

just as a for instance her: what if someone sees you and tells him? or, if you do, and then the next day, happens to be the day he comes round, wanting to sort things out? how would you feel then? I' not being nasty in anyway here at all just posing the question really

i agree he is treating you SO un fairly. I hate that he is doing this to you... i just feel tha maybe you need to sort this out before you go out with someone else. I mean, what if you meat someone you actually really like, and want to see again, then what would you do... better to be free and single

i know you're right! i wish i was ready to break all contact.

As long as you're not using other people and how they feel for the sole purpose of your relationship being fucked up, then fair play.

Otherwise, well, you're known by the company you keep.

He's a player.

Players play people's feelings.

So don't go there.

Be upfront. Be honest. You'd be suprised how many aren't bothered as long as they're getting theirs.