should i be going after other men?

[nappyaddict]

when i technically haven't split up with my boyfriend yet? somethings telling me no, but the other half of me is saying he's the one dicking around fuck him!

right still not totally sure i get what you're saying. its too late to get my head around.

nappyaddict

Expat is on the money here.

However, what exactly do you look for in a man?. This current man is clearly not the one is he?. Perhaps you need to look at your own relationship patterns and see where its going wrong. That is a very hard thing to do.

I would argue that because your self esteem and worth are poor such men who use women (actually they detest women) and are players flock to you like a moth to a flame. You descend to their level, I guarantee you will end up feeling a lot worse than you do now.

Work on your own self esteem and love yourself for a change. You do not solely need another man to make you feel wanted and secure; the initial work on you needs to come from within you, you need to love your own self first.

I've seen your picture and you have an awful lot going for you. You do not have to sell yourself short, you are worth so more than that!!!. The hard part is truly believing in your own self. Others may validate you but you need to truly love your own self.

no he isn't your right. i thought he was. he was so nice, sweet, gentle - unlike any of the men i've been out with before. tbh he's not my usual type. i normally go for men that are quite clearly players and a bit twattish from the off. i hoped this one would work out because he seemed like a nice boy and unlike anyone i'd ever gone for before. seems i was wrong!

no, you're on the right track. he just wasn't what he seemed.

i'd stop playing games with him and end it. if he won't answer the phone, dump him by text.

i can't help but thinking i shouldn't dump him by text. he had the decency to meet up with me and talk about things even though it was obvious he was petrified of the idea of talking about his feelings face to face. ok he might have taken almost a week to do it but he did in the end. surely i owe him the same in return?

sorry - didn't know you'd managed to meet up. in that case, yes, make the effort to see him.

well i asked him last night if he was free sometime for a drink but he didn't reply. will try again in a few days time but i'm not going to keep trying.

Sorry to be blunt - but hasn't he dumped you? Just hasn't had the decency to say it straight up.
Not phoning, not seeing you, not returning texts - that's just the coward's way of dumping, whatever he might have squirmily said when you finally managed to pin him down.
Delete, ignore, forget - that's my advice. You don't need to go out looking for anything else yet if you're not ready, but put this one behind you.

don't rush into anything else or you'll end up like me!

well i spoke to him on a minute ago and i said to him i needed to see him cos we couldn't go on like this and he begged me to give him more time. really don't see why i should but on the other hand i'm not ready to give up on him.

I've been in asimilar situation in the past. I can tell you what it was in my case, but I am not saying it is the same in yours, just how it turned out for me.

I was Plan B. He strung me along while going for another woman. He didn't want to tell me it was all off, because he wanted to hedge his bets and keep his options open. He messed me about in a very similar way, it sounds really familiar.

I think that it might be worth considering telling him that you aren't prepared to stay in limbo for him. Either you're together or you're not and if he can't make that choice, you'll make it for him, and it will be 'not'. Then say that you hope he finds whatever it is he is looking for, have a nice life, etc.

i thought that myself. was certain there was another woman. he has assured me there's not and seemed very hurt i would even think that. but then again who knows.

however now you've said that my feeling on it is that he doesn't want to be with me but he's keeping me in limbo incase he changes his mind.

Of course he'd say that. The wounded act. pah.

No bloke is going to say, oh well, yes, I really like Samantha, but she's a tough nut to crack and if she won't shack up with me, I thought I'd make do with you cos you're a nice enough bird.

Or he might be genuine, I don't know him. I don't want to make you feel bad over a bloke I've never even met, based on my experience with Shithead Twat McCraparse the 3rd.

nappyaddict,

"well i spoke to him on a minute ago and i said to him i needed to see him cos we couldn't go on like this and he begged me to give him more time".

More time to string you along more like. If he can't be straight with you now then when on earth can he?.

You do not need such rubbish or time wasters!.

this guy takes the cake. i would text him with a 'consider yourself dumped'. what a time waster.

Message withdrawn

NA - isn't this the bloke that was playing you off against your best friend in the early stages?

DTMFA.

no he never liked my best friend. she was the one who liked him but he didn't string her along or anything like that. tbh i don't even think he deserves a consider yourself dumped text atm. if he can't give me the respect to tell me where i stand i'm not sure why i should give it to him.