Hes dumped me

[Battlewingo]

After an intense 8 weeks which seemed great everytime we met, he has dumped me. I am totally gutted. He has given a reason, I don't want to go into details on here as too outting. Hes followed his head, not his heart.
I feel unwanted, thrown out like a bag of rubbish. Why does this hurt so much

Anyone? I need a virtual hug

Virtual hug!!
You are not rubbish! It's shit! When it's all new and exciting and it ends abruptly it stings like a bitch!

But you will be ok love!

That does sound shit. Give yourself a week to cry. Then forget about him.

It feels shit now op, it will get better op x

@jelly79 & @OhioOhioOhio @cheesypea thank you. I hope I will start to feel better in a weeks time. I knew I shouldn't have got involved with anyone as i always get hurt while they just walk away

Oh my goodness @Battlewingo that is a horrible shock.
Were there no warning signs at all? Did he tell you in person, on the phone or via text?

As someone who's been seeing someone for a similar length of time but managed to keep a lid on the big feels for the first time ever I have a strong sense that I'm about to get dumped too so girding my loins in readiness.

It's a horrible thing to happen. Especially after the dizzying heights of full blown intense loving.

Getting through each hour becomes a win. Lots and lots and lots of crying. And breathing.

Hope you're ok.

Find all the heartbreak songs you can, have a damn good snot filled wallow, then tomorrow write a list of things to treat yourself with. Anything from a long, lovely scented bubblebath to a complete image makeover. Plan a holiday for the summer - one outside your usual comfort zone.

Looking to the future helps us stop dwelling on the past.

Thanks for the replies. He told me on email. Both WFH and chatted are lot in the day by email while we worked.
Spent a lot of money tonight on new clothes for myself. I hope I bump into him post lockdown in the pub and I look fantastic. He still fancies me, he told me, he said he was punching (he was but that was irrelevant to me as I fancied him like mad and very much enjoyed his company). I don't have any anger or bitterness, just sadness and feel worthless

Was he free to be with you OP?

I obviously don't want you to confirm or deny but sounds like he's gone back to whoever...

Shit as it is remember that you deserve someone committed to you in your life. If that was who he was to you he wouldn't be where he is right now.

1. Ugly cry
2. Book in for some pampering as soon as able
3. Big girl pants and file under fuck it

You're not worthless. He is just more cavalier about people's feelings than you are. It always passes...........

“ Sorry he messed you around, cut him out like the cancer he is.”

He broke up with her and gave a valid reason. Do you really need to call him a cancer, @mummmy2017?

Fucking pathetic and insensitive

So what was his reason if he said all that?

Hugs, OP. Short relationships you really thought were going somewhere make the worst breakups but remember it's just the timing and the fact that at such an early stage it's all promise and you don't know how it would have turned out long term which makes it a hard thing to process, rather than him necessarily being a great loss in reality if that makes sense.

You're not worthless at all, be gentle to yourself. We've all been there

Is he married?

Big hugs. I think it's a worse heartbreak when it's honeymoon stage. It's the idea of him, not the reality that you miss. The reality of him probably would have had faults over time. At least you haven't wasted years on him. Day by day, you can do this

no, not married, he had a friend who he slept with last year then they decided to be just be friends but they spend a lot of time together. that friend is the one who made comments to him about me, apparently giving 'advice' but to me it sounded like she wanted him for herself and she was jealous. The advice was that he shouldn't get involved with me as I have young kids (his are grown up) and would that work for him - he has listened to her and that's it.

He also made me so many promises to wine and dine me when lockdown ends, it sounded great that someone was actually going to give me some attention and treat me for just once in my life. Who knows if that was all bull or genuine. I feel like a fool.

Why does it hurt so much though.

* Hes followed his head, not his heart.*

Let me guess. That is what he told you?
Leaving the door open there for a boogie call

How often have you seen him in the 8 weeks?

what is a boogie call ? is that a booty call ?

I said he followed his head not his heart, or rather I assumed that.

Seen him several times a week in 8 weeks

Even in lockdown?

And he thinks he’s punching above his weight? Oh come on.

It's natural to feel hurt.

You thought you had found someone special, probably allowed yourself to have hopes and dreams and now the rug has been pulled from under you, so of course it will hurt and sting. The thought of all those happy times ahead with someone that you had found to be secure and loved with, all now gone.

It would be unnatural not to be hurt.

@Rolopolo2000

What do you mean?

It’s the old “it’s not you, it’s me”. I’ve done it myself to an ex when I just couldn’t telly think of a concrete reason. I just wasn’t particularly in to him.

Have you seen “He’s just not that in to you”?