Would be really grateful for any advice you can give me!
I have been married for nearly 5 years and have two children age 4 and 6. I work four days though two of them are short days and my husband works full time from home. He is a business consultant so works to his own hours, often not starting until mid morning.
I have always done everything for the children. Every night cry I have tended to and always been up with them when they wake. I get up in the morning, get the kids up, all of us ready for work and school. My husband is often just getting up as we are leaving. I then work, collect the children and do everything for them until they're finally in bed and I can relax about 9pm. I do all the cleaning , washing, most of the cooking , dog stuff, shopping and homework with children etc. I feel that all my husband really does is work. Until about July of this year he had hardly any work for 12 months and despite doing very little paid work he did nothing else to help in the house, I still did everything for the children/house work etc. The weekends are the same. He lies in bed until sometimes about 10am whilst I'm always up at 7 with the kids. I contributed a lot more financially over the year when he wasn't doing much work (as I increased my hours) and now we contribute roughly evenly to the joint account.
Last night his daughter and her boyfriend were here for dinner (which given covid rules they shouldn't be but I got really ranted at when I suggested they shouldn't be coming at the moment) My husband drank a whole bottle of disaronno, vomited all night and didn't get up until midday. When I got back from work the house was a bombsite and despite the fact I'd cleaned up loads before I even left for work he and his daughter had just made even more mess. I got really angry and said I'm tired of being treated like I'm just here to clean up after everyone. Rather than just say sorry instead he gave me a long tirade about how I do all of this because I want to , it's my own choice, I don't have to be here if I don't want to , that I'm a nag and he can't stand listening to me etc etc. I honestly rarely moan, I just get on with things and sort the kids. I really don't know what to do - I feel completely unappreciated, emotionally battered and just taken for granted. I honestly work so hard and feel that there is no point in this anymore. Please don't say my husband might be depressed because he is 100% not. I'd be grateful for advice as to how to manage things from now - is my husband likely to ever change his behaviour? I have many times asked if he could do more to help and it just seems to fall on deaf ears. I'd love to hear from anyone with a similar experience and what you did! Thank you for reading