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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Am I overthinking this?

31 replies

momtoboys · 23/11/2020 18:53

Yesterday I went and sat at our family computer which I rarely use. I do almost everything on my phone or laptop. DH uses the family computer everyday and it is in our den which is in the center of the house. When I sat down he kind of rushed up behind me, put his hands on my shoulders and said "what are you looking at?" It seemed like he was nervous. He saw what I was looking at - I was on his FB page because that was what was on the screen when I sat down and I hadn't even had time to pull up another page I wanted to look at. He walked away and a minute later the computer went black and the electricity in some of the house went out (which happens sometimes). He also happened to be in the basement where the fuse box is and was able to turn it back on quickly. It has been niggling in the back of my mind that maybe he turned off the electricity so the computer would go off and I couldn't see something? Is that crazy? In 24 years he has NEVER done anything that would cause me to think something inappropriate is going on. And if it were, do you think it would be going on in the middle of the house on a Sunday afternoon when we are all in/out of every room?

OP posts:
Feminist10101 · 23/11/2020 18:56

Dodgy as fuck, love.

McRibpain · 23/11/2020 18:57

Dodgy as hell op!! You need eyes on his Facebook account!

Could be some inappropriate messaging?

WitchOfTheWest · 23/11/2020 18:59

100% there was something he didn't want you to see!

positivelynegative · 23/11/2020 18:59

Hmmm, I’d be thinking the same

SpillingTheTea · 23/11/2020 19:00

What on earth! That's so shady. He is hiding something.
I'd get access to his fb unless the slime ball has already deleted things.

TMIincoming · 23/11/2020 19:00

Ask him ffs

Infinitethings · 23/11/2020 19:01

What a coincidence.

Diddlysquatty · 23/11/2020 19:02

Does sound a bit dodgy.
Definitely worth a look at his fb
(Although having had a close shave he might well have deleted stuff...)

BessieSurtees · 23/11/2020 19:04

Maybe he turned the electric off? Of course he did, did he tell you what fuse it was and what tripped it?

MRC20 · 23/11/2020 19:08

I think your instincts are dead on. I walked into the kitchen years ago and my bf was at the kitchen table on his laptop. He slammed the lid shut as I walked in and I just knew. I insisted on seeing his emails and sure enough he'd been arranging to meet someone else, sorry xx

BecomeStronger · 23/11/2020 19:08

See, if that happened here I'd think DH had probably been doing some Christmas shopping he didn't want me to see. If you're thinking something else, that will be for a reason.

He's very complacent if there's something "serious" he'd left for you to see, even if you don't often use it.

TMIincoming · 23/11/2020 19:16

@BecomeStronger

See, if that happened here I'd think DH had probably been doing some Christmas shopping he didn't want me to see. If you're thinking something else, that will be for a reason.

He's very complacent if there's something "serious" he'd left for you to see, even if you don't often use it.

Would agree with this.

If anylnes first instinct is that he is hiding something dodgy then your relationship is screwed anyway.

Bananalanacake · 23/11/2020 19:16

Could you go to a friend's house and ask them to look at his profile, or are you suspecting it's in private messages.

NC4Now · 23/11/2020 19:21

I’m inclined to agree with @BecomeStronger. If everything else is fine and you trust each other I’d suspect secret shopping.
But only you know your husband.

BessieSurtees · 23/11/2020 19:21

If my DH had been secret shopping he would say, hang on I need to close some pages. Mind you he’s not quick thinking enough to go pull a fuse out if it was something else Grin

Also when the computer restarts does it not offer to open the pages you were viewing so you would see anyway Confused

pinkdragons · 23/11/2020 19:25

He switched the fuse(!) so you wouldn't see what he'd been up to on there. Let's get real, it's not shopping for your xmas pressie is it.

He hasn't done anything to raise your suspicion in all that time, but have you ever checked up on his messages / internet use before?

I'd be suspicious as hell after this.

Goldensnitchy · 23/11/2020 19:27

You need to make sure he does not get a chance to go on that computer before you do. Look at the history, take screenshots. Though he may have logged out of all devices by now.

Aquamarine1029 · 23/11/2020 19:32

Your husband is up to no good.

pinkeskimo12 · 23/11/2020 19:34

If it was Christmas presents I feel like I would’ve just said at the time like “no no wait I need to click off something, don’t look!” The fact that he felt the need to do something secretly that would come across a complete coincidence makes it seem very very very dodgy

Aquamarine1029 · 23/11/2020 19:35

This was not about some Christmas presents. He was in full panic mode.

Strongswans · 23/11/2020 19:36

He's up to no good, hiding something dodgy. If it'd been Christmas shopping for you/a surprise, he would of said wait while I close that down.

nolovelost · 23/11/2020 19:52

Well dodgy! What did he do with his laptop when the electric was turned back on?

momtoboys · 23/11/2020 19:53

I do and have always had access to his FB account. As a matter of fact, I am taking a break from FB and the only time I cheat and go on is under his account. One of our kids use his account too. I know how dodgy it sounds but this would be so completely out of character!

OP posts:
PandemicImpact · 23/11/2020 19:54

Yeah, dodgy. He is up to something.

momtoboys · 23/11/2020 19:54

I just went on about my business looking at Pinterest when the computer came back on. He was in the kitchen and not on a computer.

OP posts:
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