Tell me not to message him

[Wanttobeonabeach]

I want to message him, I miss him terribly everyday. I'm stupidly in love still after weeks. I think about him everyday.

Cons - we fell out quite badly, he ignored me last time I reached out, he was never fully in anyway, hot and cold. He will probably ignore me.

Please talk me out of this wise people.

You know you aren't going too listen to people on here you just want someone to give you the go ahead to message him.

Do you really want to be that desperate?

Keep posting here. You will get over him. It takes time, and each time you contact him it goes back to square one.

Delete him from every form of contact and move on, baby steps will turn into self assertive strides.

I been in this situation people telling you don't message him isn't going to stop you messaging him your still gonna message him. You need to learn to let go on your own. It's gonna be hard and may take a long time but One day it will become easy and you won't even think about him. I know that sounds impossible now but one day you'll realise your worth and won't give a shit anymore. You need to take some time to yourself I used to have to delete his numbers turn of my phone and get someone to hide it from myself just to stop myself ringing and texting him. Do things that take your mind off him keep yourself busy. Then eventually over time you'll get used to not having him in your life and you'll be so glad you'll look back and think wtf was I doing. Don't waste another second on them. It's time you can never get back and will regret. If you continue how you are you'll just get more and more miserable and it will be harder and harder to let go trust me!! If a relationship is bad chances are it won't change especially if it's been a long time and the sparks just gone

@Orkneys no I don't want to be...hence why I'm messaging here instead of him.

I don't enjoy feeling so upset over someone that doesn't care about me.

Thank you everyone else...it's good to know this isn't abnormal. I guess it's only been a few weeks.

In time you will look back and be so glad you didn't message him. It will embarrass yourself forever if you make contact again only to be ignored again, trust me-I know from a previous relationship of being so needy and embarrassing when we split haha! I look back on it now and cringe!
Instead of messaging him, write down all the things you want to say and then put it to the side and to the back of your mind. You can do this 💪🏻

I haven't messaged in 2 weeks now...I do have some pride. I just feel terribly upset.

Don’t, because the response is likely to hurt even more.
Delete his number and keep your dignity in tact.

I've been on dating sites, no one really compares to him

C'mon, OP! No one really compares to a guy who wasn't really interested in you, never made time for you, and has since ignored you since ending it?

Raise your standards, girl! Over 60, overweight, bald but kind and grateful to have you would compare better than this idiot you are 'in love' with.

Well OP as a guy on here I am reading your post and I have had exactly the same situation and it has literally driven me to the worst emotional turmoil I have ever experienced. I would say do not and never contact him again. Break all contact - it will sting but over time you will feel better.

Most importantly leave your heart open for someone that will love you back with all the passion you deserve 👍

I gave this advice on the dating thread when you posted about whether he was into you or not.

You need to build a life that doesnt involve men, you need to be happy with your life - home, job, friends, hobbies etc

A man should enhance your life and not be the centre of it.

Even though this man made it clear he wasnt into you, you went back for more, like you expected him to change and actually be a nice guy.
The illusion he gave you at the start is what you miss, what he showed you at the end was the real him.
Do not lower yourself to contact a man who treated you so appallingly, you deserve so much better.

As others have said, it will only make you feel worse.
We have a tendency to look back on things with rose tinted glasses and mainly remember the good. Your not together anymore so I’m guessing there was something bad. Focus on that.
Easier said then done!
Next time you get the urge to txt him, type it out in your notes and save it and keep doing that. If you really really want to txt him, compose what you want to say and wait an hour, see if you still feel the same way.

@Wales800 yes I would describe as the worst turmoil ever.

sorting yes I remember thank you. The thing is I don't need a man in general, happily single before him, not normally bothered if things don't work out. Not 1 man in all my life has got me like this that's why I find it so strange. I've never had these feelings in all my years...it's so unusual for me.

You are all helping me thank you 🙂

I've done 2 weeks or more now ( can't quite remember). There is no point being set back now. sorting is correct....although he turned things round on me I don't think he was a very kind man really. I'm not blameless at all....he always made me feel if I did things slightly differently things would be fine.

I massively regret messaging a man and this was years ago. I still cringe thinking about it and I’m married with kids and super happy now but in reaching out I lost all my power and just messaged his huge ego and looked like a tit. You won’t regret not messaging him.
Don’t do it! He sounds like a right bell end xx

Let go.. Or be dragged.

Been there.
A few times.
You can do this.

*massaged

Ha...he is a bit of a bell end.

When people say he so wasn't interested though...he was in touch all day normally so I took it that he was. He just wouldn't plan dates much.

I think I was an ego boost....when I stood upto him it was probably too much trouble for him.

DO NOT MESSAGE HIM!!

Breadcrumbing? www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/4066848-breadcrumbing

Are you the same poster? Please don't message this idiot, you will effectively just be resetting the clock from when you last spoke and will undo all the progress (I know it doesn't feel like it is such) from then to now. You know it's never going to work out so deal with the pain now when you've already got a head start!

It'll make it much worse if you message again.
He couldn't care less.
Someone else will come along, much nicer, treat you better, you'll be way happier than you ever were with him. Keep yourself afloat.

OLD / any potential flirtation with someone else available?

Thank you lovely people.

I've not messaged and will read this thread whenever I feel the urge.

PP - nope but I've just read that thread and could be the same man...there must be a lot of these twunts around!!!!

@Wanttobeonabeach

You are all helping me thank you 🙂

I've done 2 weeks or more now ( can't quite remember). There is no point being set back now. sorting is correct....although he turned things round on me I don't think he was a very kind man really. I'm not blameless at all....he always made me feel if I did things slightly differently things would be fine.

Just because he's messaging doesn't mean he's interested. He's probably messaging a few people. Keeps you dangling...

It was a while ago since I saw you split up/challenged him over his lack of interest op, what was going on 3/4/5 weeks ago when you were messaging him?

Let today be the day you block and delete. You can do this .

Stay strong, OP. Speaking from experience, messaging him will only make you feel worse. You deserve better so walk away with your dignity and your head held high. When these feelings for him pass you'll feel proud of yourself when you look back.

natashaadamo.com/does-he-miss-me-does-he-regret-what-he-did/