Stbxh wants to start having sleepovers

[Angelfish2021]

Stbxh keeps suggesting we have sleepovers at each others houses so the kids have that family all under one roof for the night thing.
I feel like it will feel fake and also can't stand the thought of it.
Now kids keep asking me as I think he's either mentioning it to them. I heard my DD ask him the other day 'can mummy come for a sleepover to yours?' and he replied 'ask mummy if she wants to' which I feel is putting it all on me.
I can't see how this would benefit them at all, more confuse them and make uncertainty and hope that we would move back in together or something (which is never happening)
So I'm seen as the bad guy to not be up for this idea now, how to explain to young kids though?

Maybe he suspects you've got someone else and is trying to get you to come out with it?

I'd say to the kids (in front of him if poss.) "When people split up, they don't live together any more" - very firmly and confidently, and maybe even add "Daddy's got it wrong" so that they realise that even though Daddy is so adamant you should do it, his opinion is not Gospel.

You can get books about divorce for children of various ages, might also be worthwhile getting something like that to back up the idea that this is how everyone does it.

@Krampusnacht ah one of them 😫 no doubt nothing was ever his fault ? I left mine too and he used to sit outside the house crying so people would feel sorry for him . I'm well rid now as this was years ago can laugh now but at the time it was one drama after another !

We have been seperated for 16 months and he moved out at start of the year.
Over the past year he's been manipulative and weird.
He loves playing the victim and the poor me card.
Apart from anything else I'm not wanting to waste my child free night with him either!!

Tell the kids now that it isn't going to ever happen as you aren't together and their dad should not be letting them think it ever could.

Invite him over to stay and then go out for the evening.

Is it a control thing so that you can't see anyone else when he has the children?

@CommanderBurnham he's been caught going through my things earlier this year!! Wouldn't trust that!!

So manipulative. Yes, be firm.

he's been caught going through my things earlier this year!! Wouldn't trust that!!

Ugh!

Manipulative and telling the dc nasty mummy doesn’t want a sleepover could be construed as parental alienation. Tell him to get to fuck.

[quote Angelfish2021]@CommanderBurnham he's been caught going through my things earlier this year!! Wouldn't trust that!![/quote]
Creepy