How do you deal with 50/50 shared contact of your kids when it was Court ordered?

[Pebbledashery]

How does it affect you day to day?
Yesterday the Judge went against CAFCASS and ordered supervised contact in the community with my daughters violent and abusive father simply because he had such a vicious Barrister.
Resigning myself to the fact he may get 50/50 and worrying about the impact of our lives.
How do you deal with it when it's Court ordered against your will?

Isn't that what the independent social worker will be providing?

@Pebbledashery - of course he’s going to claim he’s the victim - that’s what they do.

All you can do is state your case, backed up with evidence, cross your fingers and hope for the best - family court is that much of a crap shoot. And look after yourself so you don’t end up breaking down.

No the independent social worker is only observing contact and providing reports on the sessions. He's paying for that. For her to write the section 7 it'll be about £20,000.

Do you know today is the first time I've felt exactly the same as I did when he was abusing me. He would go weeks stonewalling me and I tried every desperate attempt to her him to acknowledge me.. I didn't sleep last night and I couldn't eat today and I'm exhausted from all the crying.. He's made me feel like he did when I was being abused by him and its got to stop. He wants this hold over my life and I'm letting him. It's him that has the mountain of struggle to prove he's a good father.. Social services would not have let DD flee with me if there were any safeguarding risks against me. Its just being positive I guess. I can be positive outwardly but inside I'm crying. But it'll never stop if I continue to let him get to me.

Yes, OP - that is most likely his plan. To break you down.

Do your best to not allow it (as I allowed it).

You and your daughter deserve better.

I think today I've accepted the judge ordered the minimal contact possible because its in DDs best interest.. Not because he's a brilliant dad. If he was a good dad he wouldn't need a vicious barrister trying to discredit me and him playing the victim. A good dad would be winning on his own merit.