Child maintenance and covid

[Sharpasknives]

Hi , my ex and I have always had a reasonable relationship in the past 7 years since we’d divorced . He usually has the kids every other weekend and one night in the week. They are 16and 15 .
He pays me maintaince which we worked out using the gov. Website .
Now things have been a bit different in terms of the kids as they are isolating at different times due to exposure at school . So he will end up having the 15 year old 9 days more than he should this month as he got sent home on Monday and we have said they return to the house where they came from if this happens .
So He rang yesterday and asked me for £200 to cover the extra 9 days . What do people think?
Background - girlfriend moved in last month , I can only think she is behind this as we’ve always flexed to accommodate each other’s needs .

I’d tell him to send the kid home instead of sending him £200 !
Since when does feeding a teenager cost £200 for 9 days !!?

£200 for 9 days that is ridiculous how much maintenance does he pay a month?

He can’t as I’m shielding a parent until Friday when they will go into hospital. I did suggest he got him a test and if he was negative he could come home . He won’t do that as he’s symptomless.

£710

Is he paying maintenance of 200 per 9 days per child, if no I'd be laughing at him and telling him to cop on. Gobshite

But really asking for money is just not in the spirit of what we have done . He says I’m paying you money to look after them and then you are not as he is staying 2 weeks with me .
Based on cost per day if anything it should be £12 a day 😰

The £710 covers all clothes leisure activities phone contracts , dinner money school uniform sports kit text books etc . He doesn’t pay anything else .

surely he just reduces his monthly payment then OP ? as opposed to you paying him 🌺

I agree with everyone.. its very weird request 🤔

What extra cost? If the child is isolating at his home, they need food (£5 a day?) and the cost of electricity and water (£2 a day?). They shouldn't be going anywhere to incur extra costs.

Firstly I thought omg don't even esp with his new gf prob has an income to help with the general extra costs. I also thought tell him to take you to court for any extra costs. But since you communicate quite reasonably maybe suggest he gives you an outline describing amounts clearly and continuing the gov website suggestions.

He’d already paid me the money so now he wants some of it back . He had them an extra weekend at the beginning of the month as well as they had both been isolating with me for 2 weeks at end of October so he hasn’t seen them for nearly 3 weeks - and he volunteered to have them 3 extra days - no mention of cost

I'd tell him to do one tbh! Unless it takes the number of overnights across the year into the next bracket of CM then you don't even need to reduce what he pays you. Although depending on your finances you could offer him a reduction.

But it isn't anyone's fault members of your family had to isolate. Don't give him money based on that as it is a government guideline.

Have you contacted CMS? From what I have experienced they can take a while to reply.

Child maintenance is based on the number of nights the non resident parent has the child/children per year. I'm sure there will be times that he doesn't go to this dad's and it will work out.

He is being ridiculous to ask for the money. Child maintenance isn't just about food. Your housing cost's don't stop just because he isn't there. He'd have a point if you were talking 9 weeks, but it 9 days. I'd tell him to jog on!

Cms is calculated on an average of overnights throught the whole year. They wouldn't reduce/increase the amount unless it breaches the next overnights threshold.

Depends how reasonable you want to be about it. There's no wrong answer.

I’m just going to play devils advocate and say that if he pays £710 based on how many nights the kids live with you then why should he not pay less if they’re with you less than that? I don’t think it’s as easy as saying the amount worked out per day as obviously child maintenance is used for clothes etc that are monthly costs but he’s having a extra costs of having the children there for 9 days while you’re having less costs due to them not being with you.

Tell him it is reviewed annually and when it's next due to be reviewed because it's nights over the whole year not a month!!

If he couldn’t have them due to COVID would you expect his payments to go up?

As BlueThistles suggested CMS will updated details for the payment plan so if you are still using the mediation payments follow those CMS policies. Are still considering making a small payment? Remember to stay firm in your decision rather than on-off negotiation, and keep all communication as evidence.

Ok. You’ve said you had them for 2 whole weeks in October. Since school started back have you had them more than you normally do? Work out number of nights since 1st September? Then compare to what your normal arrangement is? How does that look. Also tell him he comes back on Friday when your family member goes into hospital? Since lockdown began in March have you had them extra time?

Yes that’s a good idea. Say it’s a yearly agreement. Say “if we do this back and forth then it gets too complicated. Send him back on Friday and at the end of December we will work out how many extra nights each of us have had over the whole year. Lockdown requires flexibility”

Or say “I’m not going to do that but I’ll have them for an extra 9 nights next month to balance it out”

Does he pay you extra if you have them more ? I'd ignore him.

I would suggest staying to him fair enough but as the payment covers fixed costs that haven't changed averaged over the year eg uniform, phone etc you will offer £10 a day which should cover food and additional utilities however in the future if he requires you to have them extra days you will expect the same amount. I actually think it's a fair amount and that is a very generous maintenance settlement to start with.

It's not easy, I can see it both ways. I'm currently negotiating with exh re my kids over Christmas as he's decided to make himself unavailable (they are students but it means I'm paying for 6 weeks rather than 3!)