Advice to your teenage self on dating

[Spritesobright]

Inspired by another thread on relationship advice.
What would you go back and tell your teenage self about dating and relationships if you could?
Mine would be:

• being a dork at school doesn't mean no one will want to date you later on. They definitely will, so start filtering!
• Get to know your own body and how to orgasm before having sex.
• Always make sex about what you want. You don't have to say yes just because he wants to.
• Try waiting longer between relationships. Just because someone is interested you don't have to date them.
• a car, nice friends, and an interest in you are also not sufficient reasons to date someone.

God, I was clueless!

Do not waste your time on wankers! He wants to go? Wave him off cheerfully with two fingers and crack on with life.

You really are much smarter than almost all the idiots that ask you out. Why would their opinion of you matter? Stop agonising over not being pretty enough for a boy who is crude, immature and shallow. As you get older you realise cock is abundant. The fact that he has a penis and is good looking is a low bar to set.

Better to be alone than being put down or treated badly by someone who doesn't care about you.

Don't go after married/spoken for men.

Bin men who are creepy or disrespectful.

Start having more experience with women as soon as you can, so you don't lose the confidence to act on that.

"Cock is abundant" too true.
Agree with all of these. I think in general I wish I'd spent more attention to my friends and less effort on boyfriends.
And I wish I'd loved myself more.
Feel like there is something seriously wrong with the messages society gives young women 😪

Don’t bother at all. It’s just a lifelong disappointment.

Cock is very much in supply and often of poor quality. Choose wisely.

I would give myself the same advice as you OP. It’s the advice I now try to follow now, yet I have friends who seem to want to ram the complete opposite of that advice down my throat every time I see them!!! Gets me down.

Listen to yourself @Ceriane, you know best! Yes, sad that much advice still seems to be "get a man" at all costs.
What's much more important is the relationship with yourself.

Don't ditch your girlfriends for your boyfriend. They are important too and you will really miss them one day.

And don't worry about your boobs, stop padding and pushing up - they are just fine as they are!!

Don't be so available to unsuitable/ time wasting blokes. You're really something and you have more power than you know.

There is so much I wish I could say. I met my stbxh when I was 17. He was in the end controlling and abusive. When I was 17 he was a strong port in a storm. My Dad was controlling and angry and my Mum was an alcoholic. I had no self confidence, and very low self esteem.

I had quite a lot of boyfriends as a teenager. And speaking to people since then was much more popular and admired than I realised at the time. I realise now I overlooked my ex husbands faults, because he showed an interest and was there at a difficult time.

I would tell myself to hold out. To live a bit. To experience life and find myself on my own. And to learn to recognise the red flags as an abuser.

Toug lessons learned.

Don’t get a boyfriend and shag everything!

I'd have never believed anything I told me.

That it's not a coincidence he was only interested in me months after we had split and I had finally got my confidence back and that being with him led to it diminishing again.

Also, if the fucker spits in your face once, for God's sake don't stay around so he can do it again.

Finally, you can't change or save people, and sometimes they don't deserve to be anyway.

Don't bother ... as a 60 year old woman the happiest people I know are single by choice .

Assert your boundaries. You don't have to kiss him just because he tries to kiss you.

You don't have to go along with everything he says. You are allowed to say no without feeling guilty.

If you're not sure about him, better to let him go than pity date.

@Beentherefonethat

Don’t get a boyfriend and shag everything!

I agree. That's something I wish I'd done.

I'd also say
Don't abstain sex before marriage is absolutely fine
Don't be swayed by good looks
Find someone who makes you happy
Enjoy being single
There's more to life than getting married

Being unhappy is perfect reason enough to break up with someone, you don't need to feel guilty about it.

Wait for sex until your in a relationship don't rush to lose your virginity to a random boy in a allotment shed.
Don't say yes to every boy that asks you out just because you can't say no and like the ego boost and because you secretly fancy their best mate, you don't even fancy them and then break their heart.
Don't tell boys about your pregnancy scare it's a sure way to get dumped fast.
Don't flirt with other girls boyfriends is not worth the falling out.

Don't shag someone just because they ask. Especially if you don't fancy them.

Shagging a married bouncer 13 years older than you then introducing him to your friends to shag is not modern or cool, it's seedy

Run at the first sign of violence

Flirt all you like but when the (pervy) school bus driver sticks his hand up your skirt and you let him, you've gone too far - it won't impress your peers

I was bullied and told I would never get a boyfriend, so from about 14 overcompensated with grown men who should have known better in an attempt to prove the bullies wrong

Think less about his opinion of you, anymore about your opinion of him.

And mo

And more.

And stop dating and learn to type.

Don't bother for now. Do things that you enjoy for its own sake rather than to potentially meet a boyfriend. You'll blossom, I promise.

Oh and tell your cousin to fuck off - you don't need to be with the men she picked out for you.

As a teenager, this is so helpful.

This is why I love mumsnet, getting to hear about older women's experiences, good or bad

Don't share your money.