On the outside looking in....would this worry you? Is it me?

[Parlourpalm1966]

Dh and I, been together thirty years, married twenty eight.
Paid our mortgage off years ago, no children, thinking of retiring in five years.

Recently, I’ve noticed that apart from my pension and car tax, nothing is in my name. Even my mobile phone is in his name.

Bank statements are in his name, money goes in a joint account, though I have credit and debit cards.

I can access the bank online, but it now has third step verification, which means when I enter the details, I have to access his mobile phone for a verification code. No good if he is at work and I want to move money around.

We both have our own personal accounts which we pay money into monthly (personal expenditure).

All the household bills are in his name. I know the tv licensing bill used to be in mine ( moved over from a previous address where I used to live when I met him.), then his name got added. Now it’s just in his name.

I mentioned this in a conversation about the bills in his name, and he said “look on the bright side, it’s me that has to pay them then” (?🤷‍♀️).

We both work, and we are not in any debt.

But....what happens if we ever split up? Apart from the pension, it looks on paper that I don’t live here.

We haven’t been getting on of late, and I get it might be that that’s bothering me, but if nothing much seems to be in my name, could he throw me out, and claim I don’t live there?

Just make the bank account a joint account, easily done

Yes @Joynot, I think that’s the crux of it all really.
I’m going to talk to him about it.

Thanks al, some much needed perspective as I needed to see the wood from the trees, and pin point what’s important.

*all.

You need a proper joint account then don't you!!

This 3rd step verification is the perfect reason to make it joint or set up a new joint one OR have you salary paid into your sole account and just transfer some to him...

Incidentally that means technically he paid all the mortgage as it came from his sole account.

I can't imagine letting my salary be paid into a bank account that wasn't in my name, in fact I'm surprised your employer allowed it!

It's not a joint account if it only has his name on it.
My husband is in similar position to you, as last time we moved I arranged all the bills etc... but he has his own bank accounts.

You don't have a joint account. He has an account into which your wages are paid. That's madness!

Change your bank details so your wages are paid into your personal account. Set up a new joint account and transfer all bills to come out of that account.

Change your mobile contract to your own name.

If he died tomorrow you would not be able to legally access your own wages, do you realise that?

If it's in his name only, it's not a joint account. You need to sort this.

@Parlourpalm1966

Why don't you set things up in your name then? Unless he is actively preventing you from doing this, it sounds like maybe you've just been a bit lazy about putting your name on things.

The bills were a crossover from when I lived on my own. They became bills in joint names, now in his name.
Yes, I left him to deal with it I suppose, it was a nice change at the time after sorting all my bills when I lived on my own. Valid point though, I take that on board.

The joint account is odd though. How do you have a joint account without your own login details? Did you just never set it up? Dh and I have a joint account (plus our own personal accounts). Dh initially opened the account for household expenses in his name (he was the one who had time to go and do it, we didn't have time to go together). I eventually went to the bank and had myself added to the account. The bank set up my online banking, debit card, etc. So I get my own verification texts to my phone related to my own login and my debit card, etc. You shouldn't just be using his login (as technically from a security perspective, you aren't him).

It’s a joint account as both wages go in it, but it’s in his name only. I can access the money in it, but with the new third step security verification it goes off his mob number which he has to give me the verification code to get in after entering the usual log in details.

It's a joint account as both wages go in it, but it's in his name only

That is NOT a joint bank account.

You have to change this. Aside from everything else, and God forbid, but what if he were to drop down dead one day? My parents' finances were all in my dad's name and when he died, my mum had an absolute nightmare getting it all sorted out.

I can't imagine letting my salary be paid into a bank account that wasn't in my name, in fact I'm surprised your employer allowed it!

My employer needed sort code/ account number details...did they need the name of who was on the account also?

A discussion is needed. Pronto.

Discuss if you like, but you don't need his permission to take action!

First of all just tell your employer to pay your money into your own account. Now. Then have the conversation about whether you both want an actual joint account. If he doesn't like that idea, then you may be running into problems, as you will have to disentangle what is currently in the phony joint account into what is actually yours and what is his...

.....one more thing: If I have a MasterCard and debit card from that account which has the same sort code/ account number, then what’s that if not a joint account?
It’s all going to get sorted one way or another.

When you pay using a credit/debit card, the only details that need to be correct (at this moment in time in the UK) are the: long card number, date of expiry, the CCV (the 3 numbers on the back of the card). None of the rest matters.

If the bank account is only in his name, then it is not a joint account. The fact that your pay goes in there means nothing, as does the fact you have a mastercard/debit card in your name.

@Parlourpalm1966

.....one more thing: If I have a MasterCard and debit card from that account which has the same sort code/ account number, then what’s that if not a joint account? It’s all going to get sorted one way or another.

You are a second card holder. My DH has a second card for my credit card but I'm the account holder. Unless your name is on the account it is a single account that belongs to your husband.

Yeah DH is a 2nd card holder on my credit card account too in his name but it's only my credit card account with all the "debt" in my name!

Council tax bill will have your name on it.

This is madness. You don’t even have your own bank account.

You seriously need to set up your own bank account and now - you can do it online in five minutes.
Get your salary paid in there
Utility Bill history is handy
Not having your own bank account is setting yourself up for all sorts of pain if he so wishes

Send your marriage certificate to the council tax department and they’ll add you to the account.

Other ids you should have are driving license and passport as well as council tax

Isn't the house in joint names ? Seems a bit odd if not . We started our mortgage together so we are joint on everything .

Yeah, you don’t have a joint account, you have simply told your employer to pay all your wages straight to your husband

I’m a bit surprised they agreed to that as well - perhaps they didn’t realise.

Get it sorted asap - if he won’t add you, open a new account in your name only, then contact your employer and change which account they pay your wages into.

No discussion even needed, just set up your own bank account and get your employer to pay your salary in there. End of. You don’t need anyone’s permission!

@Parlourpalm1966

I can't imagine letting my salary be paid into a bank account that wasn't in my name, in fact I'm surprised your employer allowed it!

My employer needed sort code/ account number details...did they need the name of who was on the account also?

Should have done. Open your own account now.