He's called it off. I'm gutted. How do I make this easier?

[IgorThalia]

Been seeing someone for a few months. Very lovely. Only last week we were making plans for post lockdown/Christmas etc. I've introduced him to my toddler, and we've been away for a couple of weekends together. We both have our baggage, but his has become too stressful that he just doesn't want a relationship, with anyone. I believe him and I was graceful when he told me he didn't want to continue.

Not so graceful once I got to the car. Lots of tears. Catastrophising. Don't know how I will ever find anyone as lovely as him who is as accepting of me and my toddler as he was. I'm really going to miss him.

He's the first sight of a relationship I've had since I left my abusive ex partner. I just feel horrible. It came so out of the blue.

Don't know what to do. I feel so, so shit.

That’s a wise older friend I have, not wide! Typo

Don't give up. You've only been together a few months and it was always unlikely that the first person you started dating after your last relationship would be the one, you will probably date a few guys before you find someone who you could see yourself settling with. Focus on building your life and support network and the rest will fall into place eventually xx

Were you on medication before the break up? Remember you can see people for health reasons so if you need support from someone please take it. As a single person you can also support bubble with another household. It's important you aren't alone right now.

I've been in a very similar situation. I fell for someone who I thought was perfect for me and my family. He ended things due to his baggage. Came back a few months later but nothing had changed and he ended things again very quickly. My advice is to delete all messages and block his number. Remove the hope he might get back in touch. And spend the time helping yourself to heal. If a relationship is strong we want support from our partner when things are difficult. We don't push them away.

I would advise on keeping a new relationship separate from your child for at least 6 months. Once you feel they are a good for for the family I think it's easy for your mind to run away with you and to see yourself as a new family. Take time getting to know each other outside of family life.