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Original poster

Awkward end of date, what to do now...

29 replies

Daisyxo20 · 14/11/2020 16:33

So I braved online dating again after splitting up with my ex earlier this year. I met a guy online and he’s 10 years older than me. We spoke for about a month and since then have had 3 dates- first 2 dates he didn’t make any sort of move. We had our third date today and i got a bit fed up so decided to try and make the first move which was an utter fail and ended up in a weird peck/kiss on the cheek as he thought I was going for a hug and kind of turned his head?! Blush cringe Confused

Anyway, he text me when I got home saying he had a great time and can’t wait to see me again. He’s lovely but he seems painfully shy. He mentioned that he’s never had a long term relationship and his dating has only ever led to short term relationships and nothing longer than a few months (he’s late 30’s).

He seems nice and funny and the conversation flows but I don’t know how it’s going to work if he never makes some sort of move?! I mean today was just plain awkward Confused. He seems keen over text, compliments me and tells me how attractive I am during dates so I do think he likes me but who knows

I don’t know whether to give another date a go or just cut my losses. He seems lovely but I don’t want to have to keep trying to make a move. (Or get myself in anymore awkward situations😂)

OP posts:
Rockinmomma · 14/11/2020 16:58

Mmmmm be prepared to be flamed for breaking lock down OP (assuming you’re UK)
Did you laugh it off and go in for a full kiss? First kisses can be awkward but it’s how you deal with it afterwards, you’ve got to feel comfortable with that person
Is there an attraction, chemistry or spark there? What about body language?

Original poster
Daisyxo20 · 14/11/2020 17:09

We’re in Wales so not full lockdown. Although we clearly didn’t socially distance from each other at the end of the date (would have been less awkward If we had haha)

We just kind of hugged and said bye afterwards. It clearly hasn’t put him off judging by his eagerness for another date! I mean I find him attractive but I think it’s hard to judge re: chemistry/spark due to the lack of a kiss or holding hands or anything. It’s weird because it makes it seem like meeting a friend rather than going on a date. It’s well and truly put me off making the move again mind- the awkwardness does dent confidence a tad!

OP posts:
Rhine · 14/11/2020 17:12

@Rockinmomma

Mmmmm be prepared to be flamed for breaking lock down OP (assuming you’re UK) Did you laugh it off and go in for a full kiss? First kisses can be awkward but it’s how you deal with it afterwards, you’ve got to feel comfortable with that person Is there an attraction, chemistry or spark there? What about body language?
The U.K. isn’t only England ffs. Wales, Scotland and NI are all open pretty much as normal.
MrsSpringfield · 14/11/2020 17:13

Maybe give it one last try?
He might be feeling like an idiot that he didn't realise it was a kiss.
And if it's still too platonic, leave it.

Jennifer2r · 14/11/2020 17:14

I'd be straight forward about it with him, on the phone. I'd like another date with you because I feel like we got on but I noticed you weren't keen on kissing, are you nervous or worried about covid or do you see this developing more as a friendship?

wishingitwasfriday · 14/11/2020 17:18

Is he worried about getting close because of COVID? Maybe he doesn't feel comfortable kissing/touching at the moment?

TokyoSushi · 14/11/2020 17:20

Not the whole of the UK is in lockdown 🙄

If he seems nice OP, then I'd give it a little bit longer. Better this, than the many threads that we have on here of men trying to force their way into people's houses after 5 minutes!

Beentherefonethat · 14/11/2020 17:21

Ah just put it down to one of those cringe moments op, you’ll be laughing about it in no time!

Give him another chance. I am confident but I’m very shy about kissing yet I’d do most things in bed!

NotImpossible · 14/11/2020 17:25

@Rockinmomma

Mmmmm be prepared to be flamed for breaking lock down OP (assuming you’re UK) Did you laugh it off and go in for a full kiss? First kisses can be awkward but it’s how you deal with it afterwards, you’ve got to feel comfortable with that person Is there an attraction, chemistry or spark there? What about body language?
FFS! This is really starting to piss me off on here. England is not the whole UK - the rest of us exist too you know!

OP I think he sounds nice but I think you'll need to be prepared to keep making the moves here. There might be a reason he's never got into a long term relationship - In my experience it can feel like hard work when someone is obviously keen but very shy.

pumpkinpie01 · 14/11/2020 17:32

He is attractive and funny - 2 great attributes there. Give it time , when he feels more confident with you he will probably make a move

SimonJT · 14/11/2020 17:33

I wouldn’t panic too much.

Our first date was a major cringe fest (it was me being the cringe), he somehow decided to go on a second date with me and I was less nervous/weird. I managed to bag a few more dates and our wedding (covid permitting) is booked for April.

Original poster
Daisyxo20 · 14/11/2020 17:40

Thanks everyone! I’ll give it another date and see how things go ☺️

I don’t think it’s a covid thing- he has hugged at the end of all 3 dates which suggests he doesn’t mind getting closer than 2m.

I think it could be more to do with the fact he’s a bit shy and hasn’t really dated much. I’m not the most confident myself so I feel like we could coast along with nothing happening for ages ha!

If it’s this hard to navigate a kiss god knows what it’ll be like to progress to anything else haha Grin

OP posts:
Swaning · 14/11/2020 17:49

My DP was super nervous and on our second date at the end i just said to him "can I have a quick kiss now?"

It was indeed a quick kiss and he looked terrified... but it all loosened up after that.

There is a lot of pressure and nerves, just take the lead next time but ask him first (as is polite if youre not sure he will go for it)

The plus side is, if it is nerves, it probably means he isnt the "shag about" type. Mine isnt, despite being a total corker.

charliebear78 · 14/11/2020 17:49

Get drunk, Get him drunk...things will probably go from there! hah
I am sure things will move along, give him a few more dates at least

SoulofanAggron · 14/11/2020 17:52

He'll probably relax more after a while.

Baws · 15/11/2020 01:32

@Rockinmomma
The whole of the UK is not in lockdown 🙄🙄
There are another 3 countries in the UK! This is pissing me off big time!

CharlotteRose90 · 15/11/2020 01:59

Hell if you don’t want him I’ll have him 🤣. All the idiots I’ve met so far online dating have wanted to jump my bones on the second date. I like to wait before I sleep with someone. Maybe he’s shy and will make the move on another date. Or with lockdown perhaps he’s scared to make a move who knows. Wait and see. My last partner we kissed on the 5th Date as he waited for me to make the move and I waited for him.

petridishmystery · 15/11/2020 02:05

You may find that once the first kiss is out the way, it flows better. My ex and I were both completely inexperienced, like never anyone at all, we danced along for ages before I finally bit the bullet and said I wanted to be with him, I then had to basically ask him outright for a kiss, which was frankly, awful. But once the first couple of initial, cringey kisses were out the way and we felt comfortable being in close contact, it all just naturally flowed and was never awkward again. He might just need to get used to being able to touch you in a romantic way (not even a sexual way) before it becomes more natural.

StarlightLady · 15/11/2020 04:38

He’s making tbe right noises and adding a little respect. Surely this is better than someone shoving their hand up your skirt without consent. Be bold, take the lead, perhaps with a little prompting, and enjoy.

Keep a couple of condoms in your handbag in case things develop.

Ragwort · 15/11/2020 04:43

He sounds perfectly nice and respectful.... as others have said, much better than trying to force himself on you.

IncorrigibleTitmouse · 15/11/2020 04:46

My DH is painfully shy and had an actual anxiety attack when I finally made the first move and kissed him on our third...maybe actually fourth date. The second date was eight hours long because we were getting on so well but when he dropped me off at home I seriously thought he must just like me as a friend. He’s told me since that he was terrified of messing everything up and we’ve had plenty of laughs about it. To address your other point, the rest of it was very slow going too! Grin

Aquamarine1029 · 15/11/2020 04:46

He mentioned that he’s never had a long term relationship and his dating has only ever led to short term relationships and nothing longer than a few months (he’s late 30’s).

I'm not afraid to admit that this would give me pause. Late 30's and never a relationship that lasted beyond a few months? Failure to launch among other issues spring to mind.

CASCASCAS · 15/11/2020 05:51

He sounds lovely and sweet. I agree with the give it time.

Funny how the person warning you about getting flamed got flamed.

FlyNow · 15/11/2020 06:07

Dating is a bit awkward isn't it? Admittedly I haven't dated a lot, but I've never had a date where everything went magically and we fell in to each other's arms or whatever. It's always had a few awkward moments even if we did get on and it led to a relationship.

Voyager54 · 15/11/2020 06:16

@StarlightLady You have the nail on the head! Now is the time for the OP to show the lead and not rely on the male. It takes two to tango!