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Original poster

Odd Experience OLD

31 replies

GreenlandTheMovie · 11/11/2020 23:42

Tinder. Matched with a reasonably attractive man and after some initial chat, swapped numbers on whatsapp.

Then came the questions. It was like a job interview. What star sign was I, what exactly was my job, right duwn to the suecifuc role, how long had I been in Tinder, did I meet many men from to der (none!), what were my best and worst qualities, was I a good cook and did I enjoy it. Wouldn't a swer any questions himself (I asked if he enjoyed sport, to which I got a terse "Yes of course I participate in sports". I tried to make normal conversation, what did he think of the lockdown rules for example, but he was not to be diverted from his questions!

I hesitated too long (15 minutes) in answering the one about my best and worst qualities and received what I presume was a warning from him ("If you mind answering my questions, then good luck to you".

I messaged him back a bit later to tell him it wasn't going to happen and blocked him.
Oh, and he had said he was widowed, but then claimed his fiance had died.

Has anyone ever encountered anything like that before? Is nearly every man on there either insane or sex crazed?

OP posts:
StephenBelafonte · 11/11/2020 23:48

No i've never encountered anything like that before. He's weird, which probably explains why he's single. Having said that, I did meet a man once who called himself a widower. Turns out it was his first wife who had died, whilst he was still married to his second.

Think they say that to get the sympathy vote

friendlymum67 · 11/11/2020 23:49

Hi @GreenlandTheMovie, welcome to the strange world of OLD! Not every man is insane or sex crazed but there’s definitely a lack of ‘normal’ men!

I’ve met one guy for a date and there is nothing romantic in it but hopefully a good friendship, l’ve given up on the thought of meeting anyone romantically.

TheDowagerDuchess · 12/11/2020 00:07

He sounds awful!

Probably a lot of them on there, I agree, but not all.

Last time I looked it seemed to be mainly adverts!

Original poster
GreenlandTheMovie · 12/11/2020 08:19

I tried to engage him in conversation (since at least he hadn't started talking about sex and had to be blocked already, so I asked him what he thought of the lockdown restrictions. Only to get back a terse "I know nothing about the lockdown".

He was very specific in a asking me if I lived alone "or with family", despite me already telling him I had no kids.

So controlling... I must admit I was wondering if this one was a con artist type with a pre prepared set of questions designed to see if you'll do what you're told and take the bait.

That 6 or 7 men on Tinder I've blocked in a row, the others due to the "you look sexy" comments starting or "have you got any pics showing a bit more".

OP posts:
HotGlueGun · 12/11/2020 08:23

Sounds like he was phishing for details of your life to commit a scam/ fraud in some way. When he responded, were his responses in good English or were there errors?

velourvoyageur · 12/11/2020 08:24

He sounds like he may have social communication issues to be honest. Maybe he genuinely doesn't know how to have a give and take conversation.

Sparklfairy · 12/11/2020 08:27

Weirdest one I had was this opening message:

What's your opinion on equality of opportunity and equality of outcome?

Original poster
GreenlandTheMovie · 12/11/2020 08:29

He claimed to be French (but with a British mother) but his English was good enough to make an attempt at conversation of he wanted to. Clearly English was not his first language. None of it fully added up as someone with a British mother would usually be perfectly fluent. Very reluctant to answer questions about himself.

OP posts:
velourvoyageur · 12/11/2020 08:36

Sparklfairy you could've played MRA bingo with that one!

Sparklfairy · 12/11/2020 08:41

@velourvoyageur

Sparklfairy you could've played MRA bingo with that one!
I did write back out of sheer curiosity and said "in what context?" And he sent back a curt "job market". I just ignored him. I get bored enough messaging a bunch of people, most of whom I will never meet, asking and answering the same dull questions... I wasn't about to get sucked into a debate about economics/politics/how evil feminism is Grin
Grandadwasthatyou · 12/11/2020 08:55

Typical scammers questions. Asks questions to find out whether you're solvent or have any family who will look out for you. Then swoop in and tell you about his money stuck in Nigeria which he will need your help to release.
Too many people fall for it unfortunately.

ravenmum · 12/11/2020 08:59

None of it fully added up as someone with a British mother would usually be perfectly fluent.
That's not necessarily the case. I live abroad, brought up my own children bilingually and know a lot of fellow expats who did the same thing, and the quality of their children's English varies widely.

Does sound like he was up to something, though.

BreatheAndFocus · 12/11/2020 09:00

I asked him what he thought of the lockdown restrictions. Only to get back a terse "I know nothing about the lockdown"

That’s suspicious. Was he afraid answering would give himself away eg he’s not in the U.K.? That was an answer to deflect and it sounded defensive.

I agree he was assessing you - but not as a potential date.

ravenmum · 12/11/2020 09:03

"I know nothing about the lockdown" and not saying anything off the cuff makes me think that his English was worse than he was claiming - he had a set of possible sentences to say and was sticking to those and very brief answers to hide the fact.

canigooutyet · 12/11/2020 09:10

I had one of these op. Endless questions before the previous one answered.

I played along 🤣 answered the gazillions questions - all bollocks.

After a couple of months (I was on bedrest by this point) he clocked on I was taking the piss. He told me he was going to message all the tinder guys and warn them I was a time waster. Laughed and told him please do.

jojogoesbust · 12/11/2020 09:15

He was a scammer. They are always widowed with multi national parents!! Classic scammer probably sitting in a room in Nigeria talking to thousands of women, so the questions were a script!

Original poster
GreenlandTheMovie · 12/11/2020 09:16

"If you can't answer my questions so I can get to know you better, then good luck to you" - quite aggressive too!

I'm not even sure he was French! Initially, I asked him where he was from originally, cand he didn't reply, so then, I asked him if he was French (because he had a name that could have been French), and he replied "yes". So I asked him where in France he was from, and after some delay, got the reply "Nantes". Loads of stuff about looking for a sincere, loving woman who would look after him - I forget most of that guff but there was an entire paragraph.

And was very specific in asking me whether I worked in an "elementary school" or "college" - is that terminology you use in France? But also said he had been living here for 21/2 years (in a small town nearby that you would be unlikely to make up).

I got scammer vibes about him anyway!

OP posts:
ravenmum · 12/11/2020 09:22

"Ècole elementaire" is the French term, but if he'd lived in the UK for 21 years he'd be pretty likely to have learned "primary school".

BlokeHereInPeace · 12/11/2020 09:33

Possibly a bot and not a real person at all. "I know nothing about [the lockdown]"

dottiedodah · 12/11/2020 09:39

I think he sounds controlling TBH! You have done the right thing by blocking him I think!

Bunnymumy · 12/11/2020 10:43

Experienced very similar. Me trying to ask about the pet rabbit in his pics which would have been a fun convo but he snapped straight back to his questionnaire.

I'd suspect controlling. Not someone you want to get involved with that's for sure.

canigooutyet · 12/11/2020 20:50

Might not have been a typical scammer.
There are blokes and possibly woman as well, that lifestyle screw their way around Tinder.
They believe they are God gifts and us woman should be delighted to fund their lifestyles in return for a shag.

After my last encounter I carried on swiping right with no intention of meeting anyone. Bedrest and long periods of isolation do funny things to you.

After a couple of weeks they start again with a new profile etc and before you know it, you match again.

DoWahDiddy · 12/11/2020 21:00

Gawd, I read this thread then have been OLD where she started off with the classic 'Hi' initial opener. I'm a man, by the way. And I've been asking loads of questions and fear I'm becoming like the man in OP's post!

I'd quite openly answer any questions from her but they're not forthcoming, however. It's like getting blood from a stone. She's seemingly well traveled and intelligent.

Fark this! I shouldn't feel like I'm giving an interview, should I? Meet me halfway is my modus operandi.

canigooutyet · 12/11/2020 21:06

Dating is so complexed.
There’s been times where we’ve both burst out laughing at the job interview aspect of it and I don’t mean the scammers/timewasters/bots.
Trying to engage in a conversation over the screen can be incredibly hard.

As for hard work - about 3 years I matched with a bloke that was incredibly hard work to chat to. I was going to give up and move along tbh. Out of the blue he really parked up and have had many laughs in person since. On screen he’s still as dull as dishwater 🤣

Nelia5 · 12/11/2020 22:09

Sounds like a typical romance scammer. Don’t waste your time