Hi ladies,
I just wanted to take this opportunity to thank each and everyone of the lovely mumsnetters offering advice over the last couple of years, and I would also like to offer some heart felt advice to anyone struggling at the moment.
I was in an abusive relationship for 10 years which I finally left 2 years ago now with my then 3yr old DD. We left one evening and went to live with my mum and dad for a year before we managed to get our own place. When I left I felt a huge sense of relief but also panic at the same time.
My self esteem was so shattered that I didnt recognise who I was, I was so embarrassed to seek any help (financially - in terms of benefits) as I was such a proud person. I hid the fact that I had left the relationship because I thought if people knew I was a single mum I would have the 'single mother on benefits' stigma attached to me.
My 3 year old was constantly crying for her dad, he was making me feel constantly guilty for leaving, I felt tremendous guilt for breaking up a family. I spoke to family and friends but one of my main sources of advice every night would be mumsnet, I would post and constantly refresh my phone waiting for the advice from posters!
The advice and support was so overwhelming that I started to recognise my self worth and make decisions.
During this time I decided to work on myself I read countless self development books, I watched motivational videos on youtube! I worked on writing gratitude lists every day, raising my self esteem, raising my confidence etc.
As a single mum I thought my life would be financially, mentally and emotionally tough and i was scared for the future. I am sure there are a lot of you in similar positions now, but believe me when I say leaving an abusive relationship will be the making of you.
2 years on and I have a gorgeous home that myself and my 5 yr old DD live in, I am 2 years into my PhD, tomorrow I am about to start my new job - part time lecturing at my university. Before covid hit I had been invited to attend an international conference to present my PhD research.
I have recently ended a relationship as I seen way too many red flags (with the help of mumsnet again) and I am working 100% on my self development!
From that broken young woman I was 2 years ago, going back to my bedroom at my parents house to how far I have come I am so incredibly proud! And you can be too!
This post is not designed to boast, I am not boastful in the slightest but i want to tell you all that you can achieve anything you dream about, if you ditch that unhealthy relationship and focus on yourself, your children and your goals!
Thank you mumsnet because without your daily support, advice and hand holding I wouldn't be where I am today. If this helps one person I will be very happy.