Tips for living alone

[Bluet1t]

Hi mumsnetters,
Not sure if I'm in the right place, but I'd really appreciate some friendly advice, as pathetic as I may sound.

I've found myself living alone at the beginning of lockdown II. The area I live in has been in local lockdown for a while, so aside from my (now ex) partner, I haven't seen anyone else in quite some time.

I'm not from the area, and whilst I've lived here for several years a lot of my friends from my uni days have moved back to their hometowns to start families etc, so I'm feeling a bit lonely. My family live too far away to allow me to realistically form a bubble, and the single friends I have are already in bubbles with their families.

I enjoy my own company, but I get very anxious at the thought of being on my own all day every day, especially as I am working from home for the foreseeable future, if not permanently. I had a short stint living alone following a previous breakup, and my mental and physical health suffered a lot, so I want to go in with my eyes open and to make this work as a long term solution, so as to avoid pining for him just because I crave some familiar comfort.

Any hints, tips and good habits to form would be really appreciated!

Bumping for you

Would volunteering be an option to get out and about?

Get up in the morning and shower and dress as if you had company.
Plan things to do each day.
Cook real meals.
If you can, go out for a walk each day. Make an excuse if you have to.

Time outside every day, exercise - maybe a local class that has gone online for lockdown.

A few people in my area have posted on the website Next Door saying they are new to the area and are looking to meet new people. It's quite a brave thing to do though

I second the 'getting out for a walk every day'. I'm on my own - have been since beginning of Lockdown I - and I try to get out at around 7am.
You get the dog walkers out & everyone will smile & say good morning & have a brief chat about their dogs (I'm dogless!). Sets me up for the day - I've got out of bed, I'm dressed (even if I don't shower & dress 'properly' til I get back), I'm interacting with others & it's exercise.
There's no such thing as too bad weather to walk - I now have some fetching Peter Storm trousers & a matching anorak. I look like a prat, which makes me laugh, but at least I'm dry & warm...

@Iggypoppie What's the next door app please? That does sound seriously brave but better than the alternative I suppose!

Could you get a dog? That would give you a reason to get out and about each day and also help you to meet new people

@TeachesOfPeaches I would love nothing more to get a dog! In fact, we had just put down the deposit on a puppy due early next year!! But then all this happened.

The puppy is through a family friend of his so it's probably quite unlikely I'd be able to continue with getting it. If I could get my deposit back I'd definitely get one another though.

Here it is. nextdoor.co.uk/

Definitely worth a try . The best ones I saw said a bit about themselves, where they were originally from etc and it sparked a few connections.

Another one might be Borrow my Doggy for dog walking?

Having a dog definitely aids meeting people. My dogs are both rescues and have lots of dogggy mates. I've made a few solid friendships too. So I'd forget the puppy and look at local rescue centres /groups. Most are on Facebook.
I am involved in a local community organisation which works to improve the local area. You might have similar where you are? Good also for meeting decent people.
Good luck with it all

Zoom yoga or similar local class. Check Facebook local pages. You can develop links that will continue after lockdown.

I think routine is really helpful

I don't know what I would do without my cats. They make me get up every day and give me regular cuddles. If you like animals and have the money and can commit I would really recommend a pet.

Sorry, I just realised the pet question was raised above.

I also recommend podcasts whilst you're doing chores. The 'chatty' ones in particular make me feel like I have company. I recommend Reply All and Criminal.

I think it's all about routine, being outside as much as possible, cooking nice stuff and getting little treats for yourself.

Will you stay in this area or are you planning a move after all this is over? Might be fun planning, looking at houses, Pinterest etc

Thanks everyone for all your great ideas! I've had a quick look at volunteering and local groups. I've found a few local groups to volunteer in, however they all seem to meet in the daytime mid week, and I work full time! I'll keep looking though!

@beachyhead I often while away a few hours looking at dream homes on Rightmove moving would definitely be an option, although probably in the longer term. The industry I work in is really struggling at the moment, but the company I work for is doing really well! So I don't really want to give up a stable job when everything is so uncertain right now already

Good luck. Another thing to add is distance learning or something. I think a lot of us will appreciate human company so much after this period. I'm thinking of training as a massage therapist for when it's all over. Looking forward to chatting to clients 😄

if you are working remotely why don't you move back to to your family home?

Put the radio on, especially when going out, leave it on for your return. Also lights on a timer

@Keratinsmooth already have lights on a timer, but doing the same with the radio is a great idea!

@brownmunde because I like where I live and enjoy my independence

Books some zoom/facetious calls with friends. Send them an invitation with a specific time/day. If you like similar things you could jointly watch something on TV together (strictly come dancing, bake-off etc) or just chat or play a game on House Party together.

Or you could have a cocktail night with a couple of friends....each of you takes it in turn to make and describe a cocktail....virtually of course.

I like the theatre and have paid for some online theatre events....some have been better than others....but I really like knowing I have something to look forward too.

Would second trying to get out the house every day, or most days. Also, if you can, perhaps find a cafe or something where you can pop in to get a takeaway coffee. it's human interaction and often doing that becomes a treat, you get recognition from other regulars etc.

I'd also say that it's worth reaching out to friends who are far away. You can't go for walks, but they're also isolated so it's a good time to arrange that call with a friend or just a long WhatsApp chat with someone. I find that really helps me. I'm not a huge fan of a Zoom drink, but have done a few. But more it's just the day to day chit chat with a few people.

Not facetious calls....that should say face time.