Tips for living alone

[Bluet1t]

Hi mumsnetters,
Not sure if I'm in the right place, but I'd really appreciate some friendly advice, as pathetic as I may sound.

I've found myself living alone at the beginning of lockdown II. The area I live in has been in local lockdown for a while, so aside from my (now ex) partner, I haven't seen anyone else in quite some time.

I'm not from the area, and whilst I've lived here for several years a lot of my friends from my uni days have moved back to their hometowns to start families etc, so I'm feeling a bit lonely. My family live too far away to allow me to realistically form a bubble, and the single friends I have are already in bubbles with their families.

I enjoy my own company, but I get very anxious at the thought of being on my own all day every day, especially as I am working from home for the foreseeable future, if not permanently. I had a short stint living alone following a previous breakup, and my mental and physical health suffered a lot, so I want to go in with my eyes open and to make this work as a long term solution, so as to avoid pining for him just because I crave some familiar comfort.

Any hints, tips and good habits to form would be really appreciated!

WhatsApp groups have been an absolute saviour for me.

Are there any slimmers world or weightwatchers clubs around? They are usually really friendly and often meet in the evenings. Plus if you are lucky enough to already be svelte it’s an excellent excuse to eat all the pies so you have excess weight to lose.
Meetup.com is also a good site to meet new people in the area who share common interests - not so good during lockdown I’m afraid but worth it when we are all released!

Second all those above recommending a pet - but remember it’s not just for lockdown so only if you can provide the care needed long term. My cat cracks me up every day.

Sorry, my first 2 tips don’t really help in lockdown , hopefully they will in December though.
Do you sing? Online choirs are fun and friendly and singing always raises the spirits.

I know this one is a bit cheesy but as much as I hate to admit it practising gratitude really does improve your outlook. So when I'm feeling a bit lonely I often think of my female forebearers and how many of them were dependent on men, died early in childbirth etc. and would have given anything to have the kind of independence I have. Not to mention women who are currently in controlling relationships. Thinking like this helps me to get my life in perspective and feel more positive.

Thanks everyone, some really helpful tips (aside from moving in with my mummy and daddy).

I was having a crappy day today and it was lovely to come back and read all of these ideas and remember that it's not so bad!

@keeponspinning I love that idea, you're so right! I'm grateful for my right to vote, and I suppose owning a property and living alone m, whilst being able to support myself isn't something I should take for granted either. Thank you

Lots of good advice shared by pp so just wanted to echo earlier suggestions of getting out regularly, finding ‘chatty’ podcasts and building in a wee bit routine where you can. During lockdown alone I spent Friday nights doing chores helpful as it stopped me spending the evening worry8ng about how I was going to fill the weekend. it also meant I woke up on Saturday feeling on top of things and could then get out for a walk. I’d try to cook a decent a meal on Saturday night and watch a good film with it. This helped the weekend feel different to the rest of the week which was really important for me as otherwise just felt like I was on a never ending hamster wheel. Watching live tv while following what’s been said about programmes on Twitter was a away to feel connected to a wider world even though I didn’t post anything myself - just offered a sense of shared experience.
Also, I’d suggest trying to revel in some of the good things that come with living alone - even just small things like not having to fight for the remote or bathroom in the morning or being able to dance around the living room without judgement so that you adjust your mindset toward the positives if possible rather than focusing on the loneliness.
Finally, don’t be too hard on yourself - It’s ok to feel lonely and it’s really important to remind yourself of that if you’re having a low moment.

When I first started living alone (about ten years ago), I was really worried about needing to be totally self sufficient.

I bough a huge first aid box and made sure I had enough food in.. for some reason I was worried I would sick and be all alone and helpless (pre Covid obviously).

I was in really good place with living alone when lockdown hit and I found d that really hard and lonely. I realised in normal times I got a huge amount of social interaction each day, and coming home to my quiet sanctuary was a blessing.

I think you just need to make it through these tough times, it will be easier once life goes back to normal.

Dog walking in your local park is a great way to get chatting, and once it’s back I found parkrun really good. I even volunteered for the kids one on Sunday mornings.

Hopefully all will be back soon

I am finding it so hard right now. I live alone and worked from home all through the first lockdown and the summer and now we are in the second lockdown..I go from bed to work to bed with a walk in the middle

I reached out to a friend(or at least I thought they were) who lives about 45 mins walk away and that friend suggested we go for a walk last Sunday week before lockdown began but then went out drinking the night and didn't get upon the Sunday at all ..didnt text to say they were going for the walk or not

Then I rang them last week and they suggested this Sunday instead and when I text to confirm on Saturday they never answered.
This is quite upsetting as its not nice when a supposed friend cant take a few minutes to text and cancel etc

Then I am in a Whatapp group with a bunch of old friends and I heard from one that another is having a hard time so I reached out and texted them and asked if they want to call and catch up or do a zoom but no answer and yet they have been on the group Zoom commenting on anothers girls post

I know it may sound lame but on top of the isolation,etc I feel even worse about the lack of support after reaching out

Deirdre - that’s really hard.

I have been meeting friends for socially distanced walks but only occasionally. Very few of my friends have checked in to see how I am doing, it’s always me reaching out to them which sucks.

A friend got annoyed at me for texting too much (in a group WhatsApp), so I feel self conscious now that I am bothering people, so have gone quiet.

I too feel like all I do is work and sleep, my life is home officefor ten hours a day, living room for a few hours then bedroom. Repeat.

I took this week off, but am sick and haven’t managed to leave the house.

But it will get better, I a, focused on the spring,

I was going to say invest in a really good electric drill, but that's not the kind of living alone thing you meant. But it's good advice. DIY with the right tools is so much easier.

@HelloDeidre that sucks. I know it's a cliche but try not to take it personally! It says more about them than you. I don't know about you, but nobody told me that making friends as an adult would be this hard.

I've also been worried about being a burden on people, and, having just come out of a relationship, am conscious of making friends (even those who don't live nearby) feel like I didn't get in contact as much when I was in the relationship, but now I'm not I want to be in touch much more, if that makes sense.

@category12 I am going to find great enjoyment in finishing decorating my house exactly how I like it!

Thanks for the replies and encouragement people

I know when this is over I am off to far flung destinations

It has shown me that life si for living and taking risks

I second the WhatsApp group recommendation (as long as you have good friends!) I'm in daily contact with the people I love, sending silly memes or virtual hugs or just chatting.

If you're on Facebook, the group Positive Corona stories and fun only gives me a solid laugh at least once a day and I've made quite a few new Facebook friends out of it.

A new hobby? I've seriously got back into cooking!

Good luck 🍀

Oh, and feel good films, books and TV. I'd recommend Isn't It Romantic (Netflix), Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine and The Life and Times of the Thunderbolt Kid (books) and Black Books, Dinnerladies, The I.T. Crowd and Hello Ladies (TV) 🙂