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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

DH is so controlling

49 replies

ineedapoo · 16/10/2007 18:08

He seems to need to control me and all the fighting is getting wearing. i arranged and discussed with him weeks ago going to my parents for part of half term as he is working. The other day he says I will just check in my diary if you can still go.

OP posts:
starshaker · 16/10/2007 18:14

tell him ur diary is fine so u will be going

Original poster
ineedapoo · 16/10/2007 18:16

I have said I amgoing and he then says so my family will come for the same number of days what the f... is there a need to keep count and control. Everything is his I can't touch his stapler etc it is like having a huge toddler he has tantrums

OP posts:
Dior · 16/10/2007 18:28

Message withdrawn

Original poster
ineedapoo · 16/10/2007 18:42

only since we got married was charming and fun before now all he does is moan about not enough water in the kettle, etc

OP posts:
Anna8888 · 16/10/2007 18:51

How long have you been married? Do you have a job?

constancereader · 16/10/2007 19:00

That sounds grim tbh. Is he like this all the time?

ruddynorah · 16/10/2007 19:06

everything is his? er no it's not...remember your wedding vows? does he do anything nice at all?

Wisteria · 16/10/2007 19:10

sounds shite needapoo. Think he may have low self esteem issues, either that or he has been teleported from the dark ages and thinks all women are there to do the bidding of the alpha male [scary emoticon]

I'm not trying to be flippant but I can't see that this is healthy for any of you, won't do the dcs any good to see their Mum controlled either. My Mum was under my Dad's thumb like that and it is not a healthy role model x

Original poster
ineedapoo · 16/10/2007 19:34

been married for 6 years two dc 4 and 3 work 12 hours a week

OP posts:
Anna8888 · 16/10/2007 19:38

So do you work and do most of the childcare and most of the housework?

Sobernow · 16/10/2007 19:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
ineedapoo · 16/10/2007 19:54

I do all of the childcare, all the housework and his answer to evrything is I earn more than you. I would love to divorce him but he says I'll fight you for custody and win he is clever and nasty god I sound pathetic

OP posts:
Original poster
ineedapoo · 16/10/2007 19:54

sobernow he won't take them both to the park let alone away far to much work.

OP posts:
Sobernow · 16/10/2007 19:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
ineedapoo · 16/10/2007 20:01

I have no idea why sobernow probably because his family are painful and he knows how much chaos them visiting creates. No meat in the house, will only sleep in certain rooms eat at certain times like breakfast 10am, evening meal 8pm very useful with 2 small children

OP posts:
Anna8888 · 16/10/2007 20:01

So do you work and do most of the childcare and most of the housework?

Dropdeadfred · 16/10/2007 20:07

He wouldn't win custody, don't EVER stay just because of that thought!

Sobernow · 16/10/2007 20:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MitfordSisters · 16/10/2007 20:10

throw his stupid stapler out of the window and go anywayxxx

theUrbanDevil · 16/10/2007 20:13

what are his redeeming features? is the fear of him getting custody what's keeping you together?

ruddynorah · 16/10/2007 20:16

has he ever changed a nappy or dealt with the children when they're ill or made them a meal or taken them out at all? i guess not. so how the heck does he expect to win custody?! you would keep the kids without question.

Original poster
ineedapoo · 16/10/2007 20:39

yes I am staying through the fear of loosing them. has changed the very odd nappy. Doesn't cook. Does look at them when they are ill but doesn't look after them. Good points are earns lots of money and works long hours

OP posts:
Anonymama · 16/10/2007 20:43

life is too short. get yourself a sh*t hot divorce lawyer (you may be eligible for legal aid) and start living again (IMHO)

Sobernow · 16/10/2007 20:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
ineedapoo · 16/10/2007 21:02

sobernow is no love lost would much rather have no money and a life not live in fear of his rages and tantrums

OP posts:
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