I am not sure where to stand with my relationship. I appreciate if any male members could advise on this matter, please?
Shortly, I am still on my divorce process and my ex has a girlfriend and they are looking forward their marriage as soon the divorce finalised. I met a Pisces businessman online during lockdown. He contacted me. I live in the North East. He lives in London, is very educated and has a successful life. So I doubted him at first and asked him directly « why me? There are so many young and beautiful women out there and in London. I am very far from you, I have a young child to look after, I am not succeeded like you»He goes to Edinburgh sometimes and business trip abroad sometimes as well. We chatted every day but mostly I was the person who started mostly with tones of questions and his responses were always one or two words so made me kind of mysterious. When he talks always very short but gave me the impression of getting to the point. I asked him everything I wanted to know and he answered but very short but never ignored me. He never asked me anything( well, I told him what I wanted him to know about me and my life and my son) and he said it’s enough to know about me and he is happy with all. When we talk on video, always very short kind of like hi and then bye. I understood he is a very busy man. sometimes a bit of intimacy went on, then our conversation went longer.
He planned to come up here for the first date after lockdown eased. I was so excited. He said «I don’t know if I could manage(not to have sex) when I meet you on the first date but I will try»
However, the all trains were cancelled or delayed on that day due to some electric wire issue(?) and the terminal announced that they were trying to fix but expecting it in 24 hours. I told him to go back home this time but he made it after more than 5 hours waiting at the train station plus hours of the train journey. I honestly was so moved and thought I would never ever regret my life with this person. When he arrived it was so late we couldn’t go out so we cuddled in a hotel room shortly. Importantly, he did what he promised. He added, «If a man has sex on a first date, that means he is not serious». I went back home and the next day we had a short date and he went back to London. We even bumped into his old a friend who he grew up with near London ( What a coincidence!)
After that, he was going to come up again but he got Covid-19 after Turkey trip so he couldn’t come( he showed me the test result too). When I heard it my heart sank because I now fell in love with him. He was a bit ill but beat the virus. I was going to go to London to meet him after he recovered but now the second lockdown has started.
One night, I lost my phone so asked him to ring me via my computer app. He didn’t ring me but texted me. «Poor you» « I am resting up early tomorrow» simple, short message. In the end, I found my phone. This kind of situation happened not only once but quite a lot of times, actually, I have been adapting with him.
so Next day, I complained about why he didn’t ring me but text, said I felt that I am the one who is chasing and not been looked after. He excused that he was looking after his mum with some documents thingy even though his mum doesn’t live with him. That didn’t convince me. he said his mum has kidney problem so I asked him does she need surgery? He said «no». She is taking medicine. That means nothing urgent so no reason not to ring me. But I told him ” I understand” that actually I don’t understand at all.
Since I met him. I believe that he didn’t say any lies apart from that excuse because there were no signs or reasons that he would lie to me. That is 100% clear. but what I am not happy about is that he doesn’t contact me often. I am the one who says « good morning» first. I am the one who says «good night» first. Sometimes, he doesn’t response. Sometimes he doesn’t answer of my questions. I purposely didn’t message him a couple of times including tonight. As I expected, he didn’t message me.
So my head has been getting very confused recently. But then again he always has been more or less similar from the beginning. May be me? because I am getting stressed in this awful time? because I am desperate? I asked him «do you like me?» he said « yes» I asked him again « do you love me» he said «yes». I asked him more «can you introduce me as your girlfriend to people» he answered « of course» I asked him « if I am sick such as Covid-19, can you postpone everything and come up here and stay with me until I get better or hold my hand at the last moment?(Because you are immunised for short a while» he said «if you had covid-19 of course I would come. If you need anything you can ask, money, anything. Don’t worry» even though I didn’t ask him anything, I even said I can afford things couple of times before.
I complained twice in whole time ”I want to hear your voice at least once a day or kind messages even though they are short because those truly make my day.
I am very confused. A man who says he loves me... why the hell he is not contacting me??? I don’t think he is a player. I don’t think he is lying. Then why?? If a man loves a woman, would he not want to talk with her lover whenever he gets a spare minute? or is it really come down to individual? I already complained twice. I don’t want to complain the same thing again and again. I don’t want to be the pusher or stressing him out. Mostly, I don’t think he would change and I am getting fed up of all but I love him.