I am struggling to get over the man I thought was the love of my life.
We were together 5 years. I absolutely adored this man . The connection was powerful and all consuming but he wasn't quite all there . Moody . Difficult. Childlike. No empathy. No sympathy.
We had a still born child . He abandoned me. The relationship was often abusive . (On his part ) and yet I would have died for him.
I left . I was t ready to leave but it was making us both ill. But I had no closure. It's been a year and I still ache for him. I can't imagine ever loving anyone else . I've been on a dozen dates . All terrible. I'm ok alone but all my motivation has gone . I spend weekends in bed . I cannot be arsed to do anything anymore. I dream of my ex. I can't get him out of my head . He is with someone else now but he still used me for sex for a while despite being in a new relationship. I saw the light after a few times . I called him a few choice names and he didn't like that so now we don't talk. But I recently saw him with his new partner. She has a child that would have been same age as ours had she lived . They were stood in a kitchen I painted. In a house we chose together with our baby in mind . A few ki tha ago he asked me round . I went . He showed me where his new family sleep. Told me his new partner found my decor a bit dark . (He chose it I just bought it ). Then he laughed with embarrassment when I started to cry . This is a man who changed his will to spite me after an argument. A man who abandoned me after I had his baby who died . A man who sneered and treated me with utter contempt. And yet I still break my heart every day. He was all I wanted . He didn't want me however and I did take the hi t after 5 years. No o W I know had still been pining for someone a year down the line - I've tried dating , I've tried not dating , I've got animals to preoccupy me , I'm a key worker so no time at home alone . How do you get over feeling like the only man you ever loved and felt comfortable sexually with is gone and the prospect of finding the same again is nil . I live alone . Have for a year . I have a routine that involves work and dog walks and I've friends but I just feel empty and sad and bereft . I take anti depressants . There is no joy in anything anymore. I'm late 40s , alone and destitute stay that way . I've got friends, grown up children, a great friend in ex husband, lots of friends , and yet this last year I've felt empty , bereft, lonely , and at times felt there is no escape. I can't seem to get over this man . I loved him but he didn't love me . He moved on so fast ! Shacked up with his second date from an online site . I've had dozens of dates and nothing feels remotely right . I'm becoming a bitter old cow knowing he has this new family set up while I'm totally isolated. I was the bubbly warm out going one ! He was the miserable introverted morbid misery and he gets his happy ever after. How do I move on because it feels like I'm stuck in this rut .