Am I too sensitive ?

[Zena389]

Partner moved in for the lockdown. After a day, has given me a list of things that my flat needs, has said he will put money towards.
Better lamp, better duvet, better kitchen equipment, and one or two other things i've forgotten. Then was complaining the chairs were hard.
Made me feel a bit embarrassed and inadequate, he comes from a very well-to-do background, and I have all the basics and get by fine, but no fancy extras.
He was cooking and asked 'Don't you have this ?' don't you have a better xyz'

Am I being too sensitive in feeling a bit upset/embarrassed ?

I must have come across as a bit off,

Is he leaving soon. I would hate a man treading on my toes after 6 months together. Does he contribute towards food.

He also sounds v territorial like a dog marking his territory and establishing the hierarchy.

Don’t be impressed or feel subjugated by his parents achievements and his pig ignorant behaviour.

Anyone deserves better than that.

Kindness, respect and equality are the basics of any relationship.

I don’t see why you should put money towards things when living together might not be permanent after lockdown. Just tell him to get it himself and he can take it if he leaves. Or suggest he borrows them from his parents for just now.

He doesn’t feel embarrassed bringing these things up so don’t you either.

Wtaf!! Tell him to bugger off,

In life all you need is a sharp knife to cut vegetables and something to cook them on...everything else is a luxury

Send him home to his mummy

Made me feel a bit embarrassed and inadequate, he comes from a very well-to-do background
He's only been there a day and he's already putting you down, insulting you and being a snob.

Do NOT allow him to replace YOUR STUFF - that's basically him taking over YOUR SPACE and getting his feet well and truly under the table.
He gave you ORDERS to replace your stuff.......if he can't 'slum it' what does that say about your relationship?
The financial difference will always be an issue - you will never be 'enough' unless you've got the materialistic illusion playing out for him.

He looks down on you OP - dating you is probably a 'novelty' for him....and his attitude stinks of him regarding you as some 'charity project'.

Remember - your hard earned money went into buying YOUR STUFF....and he's lording it over you just cos he's got 'money'.
Personally, i'd tell him to either put up or bugger off back home to mummy.
Actually, i think i'd thank my stars for allowing me to see him as he actually is and bin him.

His sort think they can buy their way through everything.

i once let a bf stay with me for 6 months when his parents threw him out - and he complained something chronic - and took the piss - out of me buying Asda Smart Price items!
He didn't have a job, wasn't contributing but thought he was being hard done by - as though it were my responsibility to keep him accustomed to the lifestyle his parents had pampered him into.

He sounds worse with every update. He’s an entitled brat living off his parents, I’m guessing he couldn’t afford a plush pad on his own or he wouldn’t be still living with mummy and daddy? He’s clearly got no idea how privileged he is which is a very unattractive trait. I’d send him packing for good

Is he going to pay half the rent and bills? Does he live rent free at home? Will he be working from home at your place?

OP this guy not for you. He's obviously been to your place before over the last few months, in-between lockdowns I guess?
They say you "never know someone until you live with them"... This often proves to be true!
For someone to move into your home temporarily, and start critising your furniture and possessions is incredibly bad mannered.
No you are not being overly sensitive at all. I would tell him you're quite happy with your home. If he gets the huff, tell him to leave.
I very much doubt you'll be together after lockdown, all the critisisms have begun. You'll either tell him to leave because you've had enough. Or he'll leave because he's had enough. Or you'll both be of the same opinion that you don't get on, and go your seperate ways.
I'd tell him to go home, and use the lockdown period to regroup your feelings and move on.

He sounds quite the catch.

OP, buy yourself a nice big shiny new bin. And put him in it.

Why did you need to move in together for lockdown?

Is he wealthy in his own right or is it just his parents who are wealthy?

6 months is still a new relationship and you are still getting to know each other.

Clearly he has different wants than you, only you can decide if you are compatible.

Imagine living with him...sounds like his wants and needs woukd always come first when it should be equal.

How are you feeling @Zena389?

Read this.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4069596-To-ask-why-so-many-women-are-in-unhappy-marriages?msgid=101448385#101448385

In particular find this post by ByGrabtharsHammer. And read in over and over. Because it is your future if you don’t sort this now.

I think the question of why women stay in bad relationships and marriages is different to the question of how they get into them in the first place. For that answer I think you have to look at female socialisation. I've seen too many posts by women saying "we've been together for 2 months and he's slept with an escort", "we've had 3 dates and he's called me a bitch", "it's been 8 months and he's still only affectionate when he wants sex" etc, clearly not situations where the woman is trapped in any way by finance or children but they still aren't leaving.

I think that women are raised to see the goal of dating as securing a long term relationship, rather than assessing their date for areas of campatibility. So they start dating someone, discover ways in which they are incompatible (or actively horrible) and instead of thinking "OK so let me find someone different who I actually get on with" they look for ways of "fixing" the bits that are wrong, either by trying to change their date, or by resigning themselves from day one to a life with a man who doesn't meet their needs.

Because they've forgotten that from their POV that's what dating in the early days should be, finding someone who meets your needs. Instead they spend hours trying to figure out his needs so that they can tie themselves in knots meeting them in the hope that the relationship will progress to marriage, whether or not that would actually make them happy.