Have you ever left a relationship because of money? Do you regret it?

[thekoalassocks]

Really would like some advice from others who have been through similar.

My DP and I are polar opposites when it comes to finances. He's deeply in debt, has no savings, hates budgeting and buries his head in the sand.

I'm a planner, budgeter, have savings and am squirrelling away into my pension.

I thought that I could keep my house in only my name in the future and we could somehow make this work because we are so compatible in other ways but the way he acts like a child around money is wearing me down and I'm starting to find it a bit of a turn off. I don't know whether to call it quits over this.

My brother used to be really shit with money. Bankrupt, house repossessed. I think he had undiagnosed ADHD, he is a lovely bloke but I always felt that he never understood how long a month was.
He lodged with a friend in a nice house. He then started dating a woman with children and I was quite worried for her! I asked if she knew about his financial history, he said yes. Nearly 10 years on and all is well. She's in charge of budgeting but as he moved into her house with her kids, that makes sense. I don't think she changed him though. I think he had to grow up on his own. If you're on here SIL, let us know what you think!

It must be soul destroying to scrimp and save and have someone else piss that up the wall. I wouldn't do it!

No regrets. I couldn’t afford to keep him and his gambling habit going without going under myself.

I came across him in social media and he’s posting how he’s living with his DM (she is getting on his nerves apparently) and can’t get a girlfriend. Sad, but not my circus.

I have a house, decent job, etc - DP doesn’t, which is why I won’t marry him (cheeky facetious post above!) He’s a wonderful man in many ways but appalling with money and I won’t risk my house etc which I work hard for. I was previously married to a total loser - again, I had a decent job, pension, house and he didn’t. I nearly lost it all when we got divorced (it’s scary what someone is entitled to if you marry them!) so I would seriously say Be Careful. Don’t end the relationship if it’s great in other ways, but you may get tired with the irresponsible attitude over time. If you want kids, you may also have a view about how long you will tolerate someone like your current partner.

Mine was keen to get married and cheerily said “if it doesn’t work out we can get divorced” so that would have been my house and pension gone too! He also said I should suggest to my parents that they should downsize and give him the money leftover to look after as he could make use of of it to make more money That’s when I realised he was showing his hand and just wanted a free ride in life.

Goodness gracious, get out and save yourself while you still can.

I've never ever understood adults who are so lacking in responsibility, basic self control, and common sense that they choose not to budget, never save and get into unnecessary debt. I genuinely don't understand the mental process behind people who spend more than they earn unless that person has a mental health problem. I was more responsible at the age of 8 with a piggy bank than many of the irresponsible "adult" partners mentioned on this thread.