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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Do you think men would be put off by my saggy skin as a result of a massive weightloss?

41 replies

FlatScreenTV01 · 30/10/2020 20:30

I have flat boobs and hanging skin all over.

OP posts:
CatsOutOfTheBag · 30/10/2020 20:32

Not if you fall in love first. They will love you for who you are

Chicchicchicchiclana · 30/10/2020 20:35

Some might, some might not.

ShebaShimmyShake · 30/10/2020 20:36

They don't give a shit. Men are not generally that hard to please and if you've got a good dynamic and you're willingly going to bed with them, they do not give a single, well, fuck.

Most of them are not Greek gods either but when you like him, you don't care.

Halliehallie9828 · 30/10/2020 22:09

Honestly ? ... some will and some won’t give a shit.

Most men are insecure about there own bodies in one way or another also.

Kakiweewee · 30/10/2020 22:11

I hope not, because I'm in the process of losing 10st (halfway). I'm gonna be baggy!

sosickofthisshit · 30/10/2020 22:12

I have a saggy stomach and boobs from having a baby and gaining and losing weight, my bf doesn't give a shit.

TartanDMs · 30/10/2020 22:14

I worried about this too, my DH said that he loved me for who I was not what my skin looked like. However if I was single I would really worry about it so I know where you are coming from. I wonder if we are more self conscious ourselves but it isn't that off-putting - is the fear worse than the reality? I don't know.

Nomnomcheesecake · 31/10/2020 00:00

Well imo if any guy is ‘worried ‘ about it you pack that beautiful baggy body up and march right out . Any asshole who is that superficial doesn’t deserve you anyway and can make company with his right hand .

SandyY2K · 31/10/2020 01:44

Any asshole who is that superficial doesn’t deserve you anyway

This is an unfair comment. It wouldn't make him a superficial asshole, any more than a woman would be, if she was put off by a man with a lot of excess loose skin.

It will put some men off, others won't mind.

The way pp say men don't care, is actually quite sexist and if a man made such a generalised statement about women, he'd be hung, drawn and quartered here.

This is an example of such a generalisation which would be called misogynistic if the genders were reversed.

Men are not generally that hard to please and if you've got a good dynamic and you're willingly going to bed with them, they do not give a single, well, fuck.

Men are human beings with individual.

planningaheadtoday · 31/10/2020 01:47

I've lost 50lbs and I'm saggy and a bit wrinkly in places. I've discovered sexy longline pull on suspenders. They cover all the wobbly bits and make for a sexy hourglass shape.
Sorted!

FlatScreenTV01 · 31/10/2020 06:44

planningaheadtoday do you have a link, please?

At goal weight I am definitely wearing shape wear. I have an hour glass figure too

OP posts:
ShebaShimmyShake · 31/10/2020 09:01

@SandyY2K

Any asshole who is that superficial doesn’t deserve you anyway

This is an unfair comment. It wouldn't make him a superficial asshole, any more than a woman would be, if she was put off by a man with a lot of excess loose skin.

It will put some men off, others won't mind.

The way pp say men don't care, is actually quite sexist and if a man made such a generalised statement about women, he'd be hung, drawn and quartered here.

This is an example of such a generalisation which would be called misogynistic if the genders were reversed.

Men are not generally that hard to please and if you've got a good dynamic and you're willingly going to bed with them, they do not give a single, well, fuck.

Men are human beings with individual.

I had hoped it was obvious that I was using a bit of rhetoric and it wasn't supposed to be taken completely literally. It is, however, my experience and what I have heard an awful lot of men say. If they get on with a woman on a date, like her and she's willing to go to bed with them, no, they're not generally going to start poring over every perceived flaw and measuring her up. In that sense, they really are not that hard to please. You do not need to be a size 8 supermodel to turn the average man on.
Nomnomcheesecake · 31/10/2020 09:17

@SandyY2K

Any asshole who is that superficial doesn’t deserve you anyway

This is an unfair comment. It wouldn't make him a superficial asshole, any more than a woman would be, if she was put off by a man with a lot of excess loose skin.

It will put some men off, others won't mind.

The way pp say men don't care, is actually quite sexist and if a man made such a generalised statement about women, he'd be hung, drawn and quartered here.

This is an example of such a generalisation which would be called misogynistic if the genders were reversed.

Men are not generally that hard to please and if you've got a good dynamic and you're willingly going to bed with them, they do not give a single, well, fuck.

Men are human beings with individual.

Sorry I totally disagree . I think anyone either man or woman who wants sex with someone and is put off IS a superficial asshole . So no double standards there . Truth being that men are the ones generally more concerned with visuals , higher consumers of pirn and ststiscally more concerned with finding partners who’s bodies and faces display neotony ur signs of youth . At least this is what the science and stats show . Perhaps this is why so many women write here worried about how their male partners will respond to their bodies or sayinb their partners criticise their looks . The whole loose skin tho g becomes even more of an issue when we consider it’s a natural consequence for many women of pregnancy that cannot be remedied without being cut up by a surgeon . I think it’s concerning when we don’t think men should be a little deeper than to be concerned about that , but hey expectations I. Men are very low from some women Having said that we will have to agree to disagree that people who are shallow and concerned with loose skin are not assholes as I fully believe they are whether they be male or female
Nomnomcheesecake · 31/10/2020 09:25

And before I get the whole ‘ people can’t help what they are attracted to and people can like what they like ‘ THAT I agree with . People can set whatever standards and perimeters they like . People can be as shallow or as rigid as they like in what they require physically but on the other hand people can also require partners to be deeper thinkers , have broader definitions of beauty and look beyond shallow conventional definitions of what is attractive . They are also entitled to turn their back on anyone who does not exhibit depth or an ability to see beauty in natural human diversity and walk out just as I suggested in my original post Smile

Nomnomcheesecake · 31/10/2020 09:41

As for men not being hard to please well I’m disagreeing on that one too . There’s a reason for the porn industry being so huge and being filled with women broken down into every conceivable nationality shape size age etc . At best gay men or women might get a couple of catagoriea of men. Apparently many men are VERY hard to please . Those with wives seem to need access to hundreds of visual images of DIFFERENT looking women and many use cam girls , brothels etc . So no I’m not buying the whole men arnt hard to please line . They may take what’s on offer but being satisfied with it seems to be a whole different issue . That being said I 100 percent believe the OP can and will find a man who accepts and loves her as she is if she keeps her boundaries and expectations high and doesn’t just resign herself to accepting poor male behaviour
As I mentioned earlier everyone is entitled to want what they want but being entitled to act a certain way doesn’t mean it’s not an asshole behaviour. . We are technically entitled to push in , talk over people tare at others who look or behave differently but many of those behaviours would make us pretty poor human beings

ShebaShimmyShake · 31/10/2020 09:55

My comment about not being hard to please was meant to communicate that you don't need to be a size 8 supermodel for a man to find you attractive enough to go to bed with you if he likes you.

Nomnomcheesecake · 31/10/2020 10:02

@ShebaShimmyShake

My comment about not being hard to please was meant to communicate that you don't need to be a size 8 supermodel for a man to find you attractive enough to go to bed with you if he likes you.
Yes that is very true I agree
Otterhound · 31/10/2020 16:19

Some will, some wont. Doesn't make them any less decent if it bothers them.

I am bald, plenty of decent women wouldn’t look twice at me because of it. Doesn't make them any less decent.

Nomnomcheesecake · 31/10/2020 21:08

So otterhound you don’t think it’s an issue if a husband is no longer attracted to his wife after pregnancy because she has lose skin as a result of that weight loss? And if the husband is decent and this is just a normal thing then what should happen . Is an open marriage then necessary ? Divorce ? All because he is turned off by the varietal results of having his child ?
I ask because I know someone in this exact position . Her husband has lost attraction due to loose skin

Nomnomcheesecake · 31/10/2020 21:09

Btw I’m yet to hear of one woman losing sexual interest then turning to porn or other men because her husband went bald

Separatedandabitsad · 31/10/2020 21:12

Congrats on your weight loss. I honestly think we worry far too much about what men like. Some of us have thought this way since we can remember. Think about everything about yourself that a man would be damn lucky to get near. Will you be perfect in every way? No? Will he be? Most certainly not. Will he be fretting about it and writing on forums etc? Most unlikely. Cut yourself some slack and accept that none of us look perfect. Best of luck Flowers

Nomnomcheesecake · 31/10/2020 21:24

And I’m sorry op I don’t want to hijack your thread . I did actually post a seperate question about this but I’m just pointing out to those who claim it’s not superficial and that this is decent , that by the time people get to seeing loose skin they have pretty much decided they are sexually interested enough to see someone naked so it seems very superficial to then decide that the physical effects of someone’s life experience now makes them unattractive .
This is completely different to seeing someone initially and seeing that their face, appearance or baldness might not be attractive enough for you to pursue them

Otterhound · 31/10/2020 21:48

No of course not. I was making an assumption the op was single and talking about how a new man might feel.

In an existing relationship it shouldn’t matter.

But I know from doing OLD women would swipe past me for being bald which is absolutely their prerogative.

Otterhound · 31/10/2020 21:56

and if you like them clothed and end up in bed there is always the risk you are turned off by their body or find out they have a micro penis.... Not ideal but unlike say baldness you cant make an immediate judgement call

pinkyboots1 · 31/10/2020 22:10

Be lost over ten stone in the last two years and have quite a lot of loose skin and boobs than have headed south of the equator, I always wear a very supportive bra with an under boob compression vest thing so that I look and feel firmer but also I don't get an uncomfortable 'jiggling' feeling. My other half never mentions my skin other than to say have soft it is

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