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[NC786]

NC for this as I like my usual name and don't want to be recognised. I'll try not to drip feed or waffle.

DH was behaving suspiciously so I checked his messages on the iPad. Never done iy before. He's mentioned a girl at work, "Ava" occasionally but was very strange about her. I scrolled his messagea and saw no Ava. I searched his archive and there it was hundreds of messages to this Ava. No kisses on the messages but I personally find them very flirty and want to know if I'm over reacting. None of the messages are directly about work. I'll list some examples and I would be grateful for honest feedback:-

1. Don't worry about messaging me, I'll never get bored of your messages. You'll probably get annoyed of my messages before I get annoyed at you.
2. Ava reminded him to bring cheese to work. He messaged her saying you're the best. There was a few other messages where he's said things like because you're the best etc.
3. She received a msg off someone who insinuated she was moving depts. She sent this to DH who then said no he's so upset can't loose his sidekick and then msged his boss to make sure it wasn't true.
4. A few days later Ava and this boss pranked him and said Aha was moving depts. Again he said how devastated he was etc.
5. "Paul" at work is annoyed at how much time DH is spending at Avas desk and has told all of the other colleagues that they are flirting, doing no work etc. DH never mentioned this despite saying how annoying Paul is.
6. Having a private joke about my eating habits (I'm fat I've got a baby)
7. Love reacting to each other's comments
8. She's brought him food and snacks into work. He's lied about who provided them.
9. Sending pictures of DD

10. I rang him once, I rarely ring him at work, he lied about what he was doing. I'm msgs to Ava he spoke about leaving their convo you answer the phone. I'd not asked him where he was so there was no reason to randomly lie about where he was.

I was really mad when I found the messages. Told him he was a liar and I don't trust him. If I hadn't found the msgs how far would it have gone etc. He says im over reacting and he'd speak to make colleagues like that. Just looking for independent opinions really.

OP this is not your fault 🌺

What an absolute arsehole he is!

@NC786
This has nothing to do with you or your baby weight, this has everything to do with him being a pathetic egotistical wanker.

Good on you for kicking his arse out and making no mistake of your worth, you are amazing abs strong and doing the right thing for you and your DC.

Please keep talking to us, we are here for you x x x

Well done @NC786 xxxxx

Yes, they're letting us have bubbles in lockdown this time. x

I was in a very similar situation to you 5 years ago OP.

You have done the right thing, you are showing your baby girl that this kind of disrespectful shit is not how relationships should be.

You will get through it and you will be better off for it, there will be awful, difficult parts but you will be ok, and after ok you will be even better. You have done so well, just keep going one step at a time xx

@NC786this is not your fault or down to not being skinny. You’ve created a beautiful life and your body is amazing for doing that. He should have appreciated you more than he did and not got himself lost in someone else.

How are you holding up?

@NC786 this is not your fault or down to not being skinny. You’ve created a beautiful life and your body is amazing for doing that. He should have appreciated you more than he did and not got himself lost in someone else.

How are you holding up?

Trust your gut instincts they are rarely wrong.

Slimy creep.

I'll never get bored of your messages.....

What an arse. Trying to get his end away, no doubt.

You must be so devastated. Sending strength, get rid of the dirty prick x

@NC786 I've just read the whole thread and I'm so sorry for you. My ex cheated on with a colleague at work after 11 years together. 2 years on I'm grateful he did but it still absolutely horrific time. I hope you're doing okay and managed to have a nice Christmas

Never think this has anything to do with you . I’m sure you are perfect just as you are . Dont allow this completely worthless shit of a person ( can’t call him a man , cos he isn’t ) to make you doubt yourself . This whole sorry mess is on him . He’s the loser , on every level . You have nothing to feel embarrassed about , that should be him , but I doubt it . People with no morals rarely feel shame .
You are kick ass strong, I admire you for your decisiveness, you are definitely doing the right thing . You will never trust him again , knowing how good he is at creeping round behind your back and straight up lying to your face
Right now it’s you and your baby girl . You’ve made the first steps , time for you to put you and her first . Let this sleazy arse carry on his nonsense, dont give him any more headspace .
Good luck

How are you getting on?