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Original poster

Boyfriend always put his family first

46 replies

Newi · 29/10/2020 08:59

So I’ve been seeing this man for 8 months. I have a child from previous relationship and I work monday - Thursday. I usually go see him on Friday but cannot stay overnight because I have my Son. My ex is having him every other weekend from Saturday morning to Sunday evening. Previously my plan has been that I will be seeing my boyfriend those times. However, he says he needs to spend time with his family every weekend !!!! (His mom and sisters) and I get annoyed! I understand he has his family but does he really need to see them every weekend?! It’s been 8 months and we didn’t spend night Together yet. He keeps talking about having a family with me (he is 37 no kids), but how we supposed to do that When we can’t even spend night together. Any thoughts?

OP posts:
Charlieiscool · 29/10/2020 09:00

Have you met his family?

10questions · 29/10/2020 09:01

Does he live on his own?

rubyslippers · 29/10/2020 09:01

I find it odd that you’ve not spent a night with him but you’re talking about starting a family with him

Original poster
Newi · 29/10/2020 09:01

I spoke to his mom over the phone once and that’s it

OP posts:
Kabakofte · 29/10/2020 09:02

Cut your losses

ShalomToYouJackie · 29/10/2020 09:02

Are you sure he doesn't already have a partner and kids? You've never spent the night and he sees his 'mum and sister' every weekend... Hmmm

Coffeecat15 · 29/10/2020 09:03

He sounds immature to be honest.

Original poster
Newi · 29/10/2020 09:03

He lives on his own - yes. We actually know each other for 8 years ... we were friends With benefits years ago before I got pregnant and ended up with another man...

OP posts:
WinterOrSpring · 29/10/2020 09:03

That is odd. Why can’t he see his family one night Sunday - Thursday? Why does it have to be the one night you are free?

StephenBelafonte · 29/10/2020 09:05

I'm guessing he's seeing someone else at the weekend, sorry. And I don't mean his mum and sister

madcatladyforever · 29/10/2020 09:05

This sounds like it's going absolutely nowhere OP, I would talk to him about ending it as it seems like he is not prepared to give an inch.
Unless he is caring for his family and they are disabled I really don't see why he can't spend one weekend with you.
It sounds to me as if you are just convenient sex every Friday and he doesn't want any more than that.
Are you sure he is going to see family?
I'm deeply suspicious and this is not a proper relationship.

AliceMcK · 29/10/2020 09:06

What grown man spends every weekend with his sister and mum....

My alarm bells would be ringing

Original poster
Newi · 29/10/2020 09:06

@ShalomToYouJackie
I thought about that so many times to be honest - but he has no sign of children in his place. And because I know him for 8 years I would like to think I would find out earlier ...

OP posts:
ShalomToYouJackie · 29/10/2020 09:08

Perhaps he's seeing someone else at the weekend? I think after 8 months, if you haven't even spent the night together but he's talking about having kids then that would send alarm bells ringing

AttilaTheMeerkat · 29/10/2020 09:25

Newi

You do not know him as well as you thought you did.

Would suggest you cut your losses; his mother and sister are first and foremost in his life and he will always put them first. It suits him to see them every weekend too; the phrase "failure to launch" could be apt. He is that enmeshed with them and those ties bind him tightly.

grapewine · 29/10/2020 09:26

So many alarm bells ringing.

10questions · 29/10/2020 09:28

So you go to his place but don’t spend the night? Does he kick you out? Why can’t you visit the family with him?

nimbuscloud · 29/10/2020 09:30

Please do not have a child with him.

petrocellihouse · 29/10/2020 09:34

I think he still has you pegged in the ‘friends with benefits’ category, and he’s feeding you lines like moving in and having children, to keep you interested. Please do yourself the biggest kindness of all and dump him!

yvanka · 29/10/2020 09:45

If his family are that important to him, why haven't they met his girlfriend after 8 months? That doesn't add up to me.

Glitterb · 29/10/2020 10:07

Alarm bells would ring for me and it sounds like you need to have chat

SpaceOP · 29/10/2020 10:16

This isn't a relationship. It's a weekly day time arrangement to have sex. Sorry OP. At best, he's just not interested in relationships. At worst, he has a girlfriend who he sees on the weekend. I'd be moving on because even if it's all innocent he clearly is not interested in a more substantial relationship and you have the right to say that isn't what you want.

LostAcre · 29/10/2020 10:21

It sounds like he’s not all that interested in a proper relationship with you.

R2221 · 29/10/2020 10:37

RUN as fast as you can. 8 months is nothing! Don’t waste your life on this mom/sister puppy. He is with you only until they call. Trust me. RUN

BlueThistles · 29/10/2020 12:50

Sorry OP but you're still only his 'friend with benefits' 🌺